Hello.
I certainly can't answer all your questions here. You may not have a mental health condition that can be diagnosed, but your situation still demands analysis. You may not be able to change the events in your life or the circumstances, but you can certainly do something to change the way you perceive them. In other words, you can choose how you want your world to be for you. I suppose a trained therapist can help you with that.
Hope this helps. Take care.
Abhijeet Deshmukh, MD
(This post is for the purpose of providing medical information and is not a substitute for a face-to-face consultation with a doctor. This post is not intended to give or rule out a diagnosis, create a doctor-patient relationship or replace an existing one. I am not able to diagnose medical conditions online. Please consult with your doctor or a qualified healthcare provider for diagnosis and treatment options)