Right, so recently I had a bit of a realization and started paying attention to some of the thoughts that go through my head. And on doing that, I had a big think about what I'm really like and all my habits...
I'm a really happy person, I have to admit that I can be a bit emotional some times, but there's nothing at all wrong with my life that would bring me to have the following thoughts:
When I’m at the train station, I have urges to just walk into the track. Obviously, I wouldn't actually do this, and I’ve never moved a step closer or anything... it's just been something in my head.
When I’m in the car, at some point in the journey I feel like opening the car door. But I’ve always just shaken off the thought...
And the most recent is when I go past this particular fence I have urges to just hit myself against the spikes on it - don't ask me why because I really don't understand.
But yeah, on discovering that I think about those things quite frequently... I thought about some of the other 'not normal' things I do.
I can't stand plug switches that are turned on without anything being plugged in. once I’ve noticed it I can't get it out my head, and I can't think about anything but. Ever since as long as I remember I’ve followed pavements with my mouth - ok this is going to take some explaining.
Basically, in car journeys, I’ll bite my teeth together whenever there's a path, and every time there isn't, or there's something in the way... i won't. It’s always been a comforting thing.
Ok, so about my general personality.
I'm in need of constant attention, I get clingy - and I reckon I do get mildly obsessed with people.
If a thought gets into my head I can't get rid of it however hard I try (such as something to do with jealousy) and I end up having a break down.
Things like that have always been related to people’s pasts, but I’ve got nothing that I know of in my past that would cause anything like this.
I have major mood swings sometimes, over the smallest things. And recently I’ve begin lashing out. Although my mood can change back pretty quickly. This is obviously difficult for anyone I’m close to.
I could probably go on loads more,
Like how I give everything feelings, feel sorry for things and won't have favourites.
And how when I tidy I’ll keep on tidying haha
Apart from all this, I'm completely fine. It doesn't affect my day-to-day life majorly. I'm just getting on with my studies and my social life and it's not something other people notice.
But yeah, I don't know whether this is all going to get out of hand one day, or whether it's just something I’ll live with and it'll be fine? It’s just a bit scary looking at it all like this. And I'm not really sure whether or not i should be doing something about it?
when i read that stuff i think...maybe ive dated this girl before lol.
probably a little obsessive compulsive with anxiety/depression. but im no doctor. i think that the question you should ask yourself is...are these habbits something that you feel may be harmful to your well being?
if they are, maybe seeing a psychiatrist could help to kick the habbits and take an edge off the mood swings.
the same thoughts run through my head. stepping on the train tracks, jumping out of the car, (although i would never actually do it) i hate when light switches are on and nothing is plugged in! i grind my teeth to rythms. cant stop something once its running in my head. not sure why. i think i might suffer from anxiety and depression.