Right so I was in a relationship for a year with this guy, we split up as he suffered with depression and it just put the biggest strain on our relationship. I did though see him afterwards and we would sleep together, I then found out he had met someone else and I tried to move on. He would then contact me, we would get talking and the thing between us was too strong to resist. Tried to end it so many times but I'm quiet week as I love him.
Well they are still together a few months on but over new christmas he contacted me again and we fell into the same trap, slept with each other again and then 3 days ago I found out I'm pregnant after doing 3 tests (first 2 was negative) well I would be around 4 weeks pregnant. He says he doesn't want the kid, that he can't have a kid as he is too unwell to do obviously he is still in a relationship and drops the bombshell that he was planning on proposing (after 4/5 months) and I was like woooah, you wanted to get married but hounded me and cheated??
So he then starts begging me to have an abortion, I've been trying to explain that I'm in shock, I've just found out and can't possibly make a decision in a matter of days. He told her he slept with me and she kicked him out, but he says he can save the relationship so needs a decision from me now. He said that he wants me to have an abortion but if I choose to go through with the pregnancy, I'll be on my own, he will never want contact and will keep it a secret from her. He told his parents and they aren't convinced in keeping it a lie, I have mutual friends who will find out I'm pregnant if I keep the baby so there is no way it won't get back to her. He wants me to promise that I wont ever contact him but I've said that I can't as I don't know how I will be after my first scan and when I go into labour, it's a promise I don;'t think I can ever guarantee. Now he is threatening to kill himself, that he has brought shame to his family and that they wont nothing to do with him, he will lose his life, his girlfriend so therefore will have nothing to live for so is begging me to abort otherwise he will kill himself.
The thing is I can't make a decision yet, I need to think about him but i also need to think about what will I be like if I do abort? I've had 2 miscarriages, last when I was 19 and have been convinced that I can't have kids since (I'm 30) so have spent over 10 years thinking I'll never have them so to find out I'm pregnant has shocked me to the core, I have so many things to think about, my career is kicking off, I'll be single although I will have family support, can I bring a child into the world without them knowing who their father is? But my heart is also telling me to keep this, that I would make a good mum, although I'd struggle I'm not a kid either. It's like I'm battling with my head and heart so how can I make a decision in a matter of days? The heartbreak that I went through after my last miscarriage was horrendous, I was 13 weeks and found out at my scan, the father, my fiance then drove me home after and I never heard from him again, I just worry abortion will kill me after, but then also how can I do something when the father is so dead against it, to the point where he is threatening to kill himself???? I'm just so confused. I passed out today at work also after the stress of his calls and begging, was violently sick on the build up and am an emotional wreck.
Is this the right time to make a decision? Do I let him pressure me? or is this something that I just shouldn't do for everyones sake? Please I would really like some advice as to what would anyone else do? Am I being unfair or is he?
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