My boyfriend of almost 12 months (this month) just left me.
When I first found out I was pregnant he was so excited because he was told he was sterile and chances of having kids was not likely. So when he found out he was thrilled and told me he wanted to take care of me and I could stay home.
Well he's recently been talking about how his ex fiance treated him so much better when she was pregnant, which is funny because this is the same woman whom he said used to hit him and abuse him verbally.
When I confronted him about trying to get in contact with his ex again, he flipped out, started packing his things and left.
Then he started texting me rude things like:
How's it feel to be such a nosy B#$^@
I know you cheated on me because I'm completely sterile.
I haven't been with anyone else and I don't know why he's suddenly acting like this. I'm 26 years old, he's 22 so I know he's a little immature, but to leave his pregnant girlfriend??? I don't understand
I know what your going thru... He was probley talking to her even before you got pregnant . If he left you over a valid question then there was something going on and he used that as an excuse to leave. Hes an !**@!.
His "pregnant" ex-fiance? I thought he was sterile? Or was she pregnant by another man?
Did he ever say why doctors told him he was sterile in the first place?
It honestly sounds like he was looking for an excuse to leave. He brought up an abusive ex, compared her behavior to yours, and then got upset when you didn't like it. He sabotaged his own relationship and probably on purpose. If I were you, I would cease contact with him until he either...
1. Bucks up and comes back. In which case, there would be some serious house rules in place as to what will and won't be tolerated. Mentioning abusive ex's and throwing a tantrum and walking out will not.
2. Contacts you for a paternity test and child support/visitation.
Don't chase after this man. Don't contact him. Don't ask yourself what you did wrong or why he's doing this. He did this, and he has his reasons (even if you don't understand them - who really knows how the male mind works?).
Concentrate on yourself and your baby. Only worry about him in regards to supporting your child. If he decides he wants a relationship with you, he's going to need to earn your trust back and prove that he deserves to be in your life. You deserve nothing less.
You don't have to justify yourself to him. He knows you didn't cheat. He's trying to get out of the relationship and is determined to make it seem like it's your fault he's leaving so he'll be guilt-free. Don't buy into that. If he wants out, nobody's holding a gun to his head to stay. If he wants to act that way, it's probably better that he leaves anyway. You deserve much better than that.
Wait until your child is born and then go through the courts for a paternity test. Don't waste another tear on this man. He's proving that he's not worth your love and affection. It's painful - I know it's painful. Start the healing process now, and begin by severing contact with him. Don't allow him to say hurtful things to you anymore - don't let him say anything if the words "I'm sorry", "I was a jerk" or "child support" aren't included.
You're going to be okay. You'll be much better without someone like this in your life. Give yourself some time to grieve and recover, and eventually you'll see how much better life can be without negative people influencing it.
I'm so sorry....I am nearly in your exact situation. I am about 9.5 weeks preggo now, but the father left me at 8 weeks, for bizarre reasons...such as deciding that we are too different because I enjoy going to the zoo (???) Nice of him to decide that now, AFTER I am pregnant. I think he is thinking about getting back with his ex, who he has two other kids with. However, she was also physically abusive towards him and he acted like he would NEVER reconcile. He has been texting me telling me to abort and how he never wants anything to do with me and whatever.
We talked today, he actually made the effort and called me to talk. It looks like everything is going to be okay.
He said he just freaked out and had to get used to the idea of being a daddy, but that he would never dream of leaving me forever, he just needed some time to himself.
He apologized for being dishonest with me and we are going to work on our communcation skills.
I'm so relieved!!!
i am currently 35 weeks pregnant with my 3rd child and my boyfriend has left me. What makes it worse is that this our 3rd child together. I have just found out that he is sleeping with other women, he said he does'nt respect because i am having another baby. I feel so gutted and am constantly thinking about him, i just wish that i could just get over him. This relationship has being a traumatizing his had many affairs over the years and he has been very manipulative and controlling and i have given up so much for him over the years. My sacrafices haven't accounted for anything as he fails to show any recognition of this. I really just want to get over him i just don't want to feel this way anymore i just want to stop hurting as this type of stress is not good for the baby. I would be extremely grateful if anyone could provide me with any advice. I know i should i have left the jerk a long time ago but unfortunately i was weak and could'nt where do i go fro here. The worse thing about break ups when you have children is that you still have to interact with them at some stage or another which makes this situation awkward and even harder to bare. Help me please i need a resolution.
I am 18 Weeks pregnant and my boyfriend of just over a year told me he does not have feelings for me anymore and had not had feelings for me for about 6 months, he said he could not bring himself to hurt me back then because I lost my father on Christmas and I was fragile, what I don't get is that he waited until I was 18 Weeks to do this. I am 25, my first child, very unexpected, he was my first boyfriend and I do love him, I am in such pain I try to eat and it just comes back up. The hardest part is that he still wants to be a part of everything, like next week we have our ultrasound and he wants to be there. How do I do this? I need help, if anyone has gone through a similar situation please help me, because right now I do not see a light at the end of the tunnel
I am so sorry. I am pregnant and alone, too. While my situation is not the same as yours, we are mutually in pain. My boyfriend cheated on me throughout our entire relationship. Simultaneously, he constantly accused me of cheating. He was abusive in every way possible. For a while, I lost myself. He would lie to me and steal from me, and yet somehow it was twisted and I believed it was all my fault. Oddly enough, it took me getting pregnant to cut off communication for good. I have never been more clear-headed. I may have sadly accepted that life for myself for a bit, but no child of mine will EVER be exposed to abuse. That's for sure.
Here's where our situations are similar: My ex said some nasty things to me about this pregnancy and about me as a future mom. He wanted me to abort; however, I believe he would've wanted to be involved (not for me or the child, but to satisfy his own control issues) in the process. I know that any involvement on his part will be abusive and stressful for me, so I cut him out. After the child is born, we will figure out his role in its life, but during the pregnancy the added stress is something I don't need. I think you should consider yourself and your stress level during this pregnancy in regard to having your ex involved. He doesn't sound abusive- more like a normal guy freaking out. He will probably be back; however, until he is (if he is) he needs to undertand the stress and pain he is causing you, which are ultimately being absorbed by your baby. I hope you consider this, as well, and look out for yourself and your little one. It's all we can do. God bless. Xo