I know what your going thru... He was probley talking to her even before you got pregnant . If he left you over a valid question then there was something going on and he used that as an excuse to leave. Hes an problem.

His "pregnant" ex-fiance? I thought he was sterile? Or was she pregnant by another man?

Did he ever say why doctors told him he was sterile in the first place?

It honestly sounds like he was looking for an excuse to leave. He brought up an abusive ex, compared her behavior to yours, and then got upset when you didn't like it. He sabotaged his own relationship and probably on purpose. If I were you, I would cease contact with him until he either...

1. Bucks up and comes back. In which case, there would be some serious house rules in place as to what will and won't be tolerated. Mentioning abusive ex's and throwing a tantrum and walking out will not.

2. Contacts you for a paternity test and child support/visitation.

Don't chase after this man. Don't contact him. Don't ask yourself what you did wrong or why he's doing this. He did this, and he has his reasons (even if you don't understand them - who really knows how the male mind works?).

Concentrate on yourself and your baby. Only worry about him in regards to supporting your child. If he decides he wants a relationship with you, he's going to need to earn your trust back and prove that he deserves to be in your life. You deserve nothing less.

His ex was pregnant a couple years ago, he found out she cheated on him, or so he says, when he took a paternity test.

I told him I didn't cheat, never have and never will and his response was "Then how did you get pregnant?"

I can't stop crying.

You don't have to justify yourself to him. He knows you didn't cheat. He's trying to get out of the relationship and is determined to make it seem like it's your fault he's leaving so he'll be guilt-free. Don't buy into that. If he wants out, nobody's holding a gun to his head to stay. If he wants to act that way, it's probably better that he leaves anyway. You deserve much better than that.

Wait until your child is born and then go through the courts for a paternity test. Don't waste another tear on this man. He's proving that he's not worth your love and affection. It's painful - I know it's painful. Start the healing process now, and begin by severing contact with him. Don't allow him to say hurtful things to you anymore - don't let him say anything if the words "I'm sorry", "I was a jerk" or "child support" aren't included.

You're going to be okay. You'll be much better without someone like this in your life. Give yourself some time to grieve and recover, and eventually you'll see how much better life can be without negative people influencing it.

I don't know if you will find this helpful or not but I shall give you what help I can.

I recommend looking into finding pre-natal groups and pregnancy resources in your area. You need all the positive support you can. See what parenting classes or groups are available.

Don't waste your time trying to understand him. Accept that you never will. If he does decide to be part of the babies life make sure you don't get your lines blurred.


Becoming a mother/parent is an amazing gift. Not everyone has the chance to go thru it. Don't let anyone ruin this experience for you.

I'm so sorry....I am nearly in your exact situation. I am about 9.5 weeks preggo now, but the father left me at 8 weeks, for bizarre reasons...such as deciding that we are too different because I enjoy going to the zoo (???) Nice of him to decide that now, AFTER I am pregnant. I think he is thinking about getting back with his ex, who he has two other kids with. However, she was also physically abusive towards him and he acted like he would NEVER reconcile. He has been texting me telling me to abort and how he never wants anything to do with me and whatever.

We talked today, he actually made the effort and called me to talk. It looks like everything is going to be okay.
He said he just freaked out and had to get used to the idea of being a daddy, but that he would never dream of leaving me forever, he just needed some time to himself.
He apologized for being dishonest with me and we are going to work on our communcation skills.
I'm so relieved!!!

How are you doing now? I see you havent posted in awhile. Life can be so overwhelming sometimes. You just have to ride the waves.