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36 weeks pregnant alone and depressed :( (Page 1)

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Hi All,
Was browsing through the net because I could not sleep with all this drama on my mind...so hopefully someone can give me some advice or show me the light at the end of the tunnel.
Here Is my story
I am 20 years old and 36 weeks pregnant with a little boy,please dont get me wrong i am so excited to be a mum and I know i will love and care for my baby with all my heart but it just seems like ever since i feel pregnant everything has gone down hill.
I worked fulltime for over a year and a half for a good company which payed me well,I had been with my boyfriend for about a year when we fell pregnant it definately was not planned but i feel like these things happen for a reason...when i told my partner he didnt want to keep the baby but i had always been against abortion...and i told him he didnt have to stay with me and i would understand If he left.He eventually decided that he wanted to be there for me and the baby,I was happy about this and thought everything was going to work out.
At 8 weeks pregnant i began severe morning sickness which has lasted almost all day everyday since then and I lost my job because i was unable to go to work..so this left my financially stuck i had plans to get an appartment of my own and my bf would move in with us and now that had all gone down the drain and this is when everything else started going wrong.
My bf refused to tell his family and would continue to make up excuse after excuse as to when he would tell them so this caused problems between us as i felt he was ashamed of me and the baby when he should of been proud after all it is his son.
We have been fighting non stop about everything he refuses to come to hospital appointments refuses to support me financially refuses to be there for me emotionally and it is really playing around with my head.
I get upset when i think of other people and there preganancies it is suppose to be a happy time but for me it has just been awful between being sick,lonely and broke i can't find that pregnancy joy and glow.
I really just want to be happy and i think the only way i can be is if i leave my bf but the hardest part is i love him but it wil be best for the baby.
Please anyone help
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First Helper angelandme
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replied December 31st, 2009
pregnant and alone
i am also in a similar situation i am 20 weeks pregnant and the babys father went back to his ex taking care of his previos child he has had with her.he ignores my phone calls and i am in a very low place about all of this.how can someone say they love you and care about you do such a thing,right?it hurts to think that they are having that family life that i have always wanted.i think that him leaving in a hard situation such has this has just showed what kind of person he really is and i have to ask myself if i would want someone like that in my life?and the answer is no!even though it is hard to go through this time alone at the end of it you are going to be a much stronger person for you and your baby.as for the money part what about unemploymnet or food stamps?
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replied January 13th, 2010
Is leaving my boyfriend the right thing to do while I'm pregnant
I am all too well in both of your situations. I am 6 months pregnant, scared, upset, emotional and lost. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 yrs. The last year of our relationship has been rocky but we have managed to work on some things to make it. We both have caused eachother a lot of hurt, and instead of us moving on and rebuilding our relationship, he keeps bringing up the past and basically telling me that I have ruined his life and he is terribly depressed. Does he even realize what its like to go through this while bearing a child. I am stoked to have a girl but am scared because the entire time I've been pregnant, Ive been stressed and upset because of us. I am afraid that all of my stress and lack of sleep is very harmful to my baby. I feel like leaving is the best answer but don't know how to do it. I moved to a different state for him and have lost many friends because of it. I am also very financially unstable and can't afford to live by myself. He tells me he loves me but that I have emotionally drained him from his entire life. He makes me feel horrible about myself. I cry and cry and all he cares about is his social life. I've tried everything to create a "family life" and instead of him being thankful he tells me I'm drawing him away from his love of life, which is work and friends. It sounds so silly that I would even want to remain with someone like this but I love him so much and want nothing but for this to work. How do I even attempt to move on..... We live together, share everything, have our names on everything together and have an unborn child together.....
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replied October 5th, 2012
hello to all you ladies, I am in about the same situation, well probably my situation is much worse because I just came back from Mexico on vacation visiting a ex-boyfriend of mine and it was not a very nice vacation because he wanted to control me and treated me bad emotionally and called me fat and that I should loose weight, the last days that I stood there in the ranch that he lives in he beat me up, ripped my shirt, busted my nose and kicked me out in the middle of the night. I had no where to go so I ran inside of the neighbors house she let me stood there until my mom wired me some money. Her family was so nice to me they fed me and kept me safe. As I came back to Tijuana I found out that I am 12 weeks pregnant!!! so here I am, pregnant with no money no babydaddy, no friends, no one to count on and im 25 years old, i have a warrant out for my arrest because I am on formal probation so as soon as I hit the border to cross I will be getting locked up. My life couldn't get any worse then it is, most likely I will have my baby in jail, and I will probably put it up for adoption because I doubt this man wants anything to do with the baby.My mom is not the best mom in the world and I cant count with her at all. My tears are poring down my face, sorry ladies but I just cant help the way my life is going for me at this point..I cant give any advice right now as I have lots of things that are going threw my mind but I can only listen, I would love to hear advice from any one who is reading my post, for now thank you and have a bless day
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replied January 14th, 2010
Listen, My ex and I were in a relationship when I fell pregnant. He was shocked at first but then came around and seemed supportive and excited, announced the news to all his friends and family etc, made plans for the future and I thought everything was great!
Fourth month of pregnancy and he was a totally different person! He cheated, he left me emotionally, hasn't helped financially, he ignores my calls and texts, doesn't seem interested in the baby etc!...rightfully i broke up with him and as stressful and emotionally draining it has been it truly is better without him, constantly having to worry about how he feels for me etc...I want him to be there for the baby but it's not looking good.
I am too, financially unstable as i got made redundant from a job that I loved in the fourth month of pregnancy, my so called boyfriend was supposed to be renting a place etc...Ive moved back in with my parents...I must admit its lonely but they are fantastic and I know im going to be a good mum and remain strong for my baby...Honestly you do find the stegnth
Listen, if they were decent men at all, they would support you emotionally, ask how you are etc and contribute for the baby and ask about drs appointments etc, don't waste your energy on the sh*t bags, focus on your little miracle, you need to be strong...If they want to be part of the childs life/your life they need to man up and prove it themselves! good luck girls, your not the only one x
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Users who thank angelandme for this post: Suki3 

replied January 14th, 2010
Thank you for your resonse. I have been in bad relationships before and it seemed perfectly easy to walk away and it was. He however has stole my heart and then broke it. I feel selfish saying this but if it fails, I really don't want him to have a part in my girl's life because I dont think he deserves it if he cant be here for me now physically and emotionally. We talked again today (putting it nice) and he says he loves me and wants thing to work but can't see it working out. That doesnt make any sense to me. If I want something bad enough I make it happen. Is that so wrong to believe thats how it should be for everyone? He left town today for the weekend to hang with his friends and clear his mind. I am now all alone, and cant stop crying. All I can think about is what he says when he gets back. How can I just sit here and ponder his answer when I know he's hanging out partying with his friends???
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replied February 14th, 2010
I'm thinking there's no hope for me now...
I'm 39 years old, and have a 9 yr old daughter from my ex husbnd of 14 years....then I met another younger man who had twins the same age as my daughter....he ended up moving in with me and for roughly 5 years I supported him and his kids because he kept saying he loved me and blah blah blah....then my ex husband made false allegations to CPS and had my daughter taken away....I sacrificed everything for my delusions of a happy family...I was working 12 hour nights full time as an RN and after 10 years of this, when I couldn't take the emotional and sometimes physical abuse from the boyfriend, I quit my job and took out a huge loan, hoping to start a business....that never happened...so I left my boyfriend, got a new job, and a new house. I worked hard to be able to get my custody of my daughter back, but its been two years and still I only get her for two visits a week...and, in my lonliness and depression, I took the boyfriend back..(idiot! I know!)...so now, I'm 28 weeks pregnant, he still doesnt have a job and contributes nothing, I am working full time nights again, and starting to have contractions so probably can't work much longer...and, AND, I know I will never get my daughter back as long as I am with this man..so I broke it off (yet again) last night and it's all hitting me that I am truly f***d! so what am I going to do? I cant afford rent without my job and the small amount I could get from disability? I'm college educated, so no assistance for me, and I am going to have a baby all alone....what have I done to my life? how can I get help? my family has given up on me because of the boyfriend who they hate and warned me time and time again to stay away from....what do I do? what? help please anyone!
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replied February 22nd, 2010
I am going through what most of these post are about. Its hard this is my first child and I am fairly just starting my pregnancy. I cry all the time because I loved the father of my child. He was also not trying to tell his family and friends and I did something that now he is furious with me about wont even answer my phone calls or texts as a result. I told his mother and sister because I was tired of us getting into arguements every other day over the baby. He has two maybe 3 (he lied to me at first about how many kids he had) children with a woman who does not even work. I am in graduate school and getting a masters in december and I have my own house and car. He used me I feel now because I gave him my all. We dont live in the same state so before I was pregnant we would see each other twice a month flying or driving out to see each other. He says he does not want to have to change diapers and hear crying babies all over again but then if you did not want to have another than I feel you should have taken precautions to stop it from happening. A CONDOM!! Yes I could have as well but we were what I thought a committed realtionship and we were having unprotected sex but shame on me at this point. He will not speak to me says that he cannot trust me and that we could never work out all because I told his family. I had no intentions on hurting him just trying to get him to realize that I matter and not understanding why he was so ashamed of me. I have my things in order and I am strong but he has me so depressed I am just not sure what to do at this point. I know we will never be together because he has made me feel horrible and have the lowest self esteem ever so I cannot be with a person like that. All I can hope for is that I will meet Mr. right one day who will love me and my baby
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replied July 1st, 2010
2 and a half years ago i met my partner, we soon got together and i fell in love with him. then i started to hear of his bad reputation. i tried to tell myself that things were different with me. Then small things started to happen, like lies he would tell me. I found out he was texting girls and met up with them behind my back, and even started lying and going out at nite. When i found out he would deny it or make up stuff to cover it up. He then started to control me, which people began to notice. My best friend who was very close to me for years before was trying so hard to make me open my eyes to what he was doing to me. But I was so in love with him i wouldnt see it. I then lost her. Things got worse and i landed up with no friends and taking him back no matter what. When i fell pregnant he turned violant towards me and was verbally abusing me on a daily basis. I am now 19,and 34 weeks pregnant, with nobody,and depressed, and iv just found some pictures of him with another girl from when we were together. It sounds so crazy but i just know that I cant eva leave him. its so easy for people to say how can u not leave him but i dont understand myself why i cant
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replied July 7th, 2010
I can relate to bits of every post on here. 14 weeks pregnant with my first, no job, and bf is running the streets. I am trying so hard to find strength but my heart is hurting. I am so tired of being ignored and used and disrespected. I just wish my bf would say that it's over and walk away so I can have a chance to heal. I am praying that we will find the strength to make it ladies.
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replied July 30th, 2010
Hey all. I searched thru the internet for some support. It seems as if now a days that it is so easy for the baby's father to leave. I had been with my b/f for the past 11 years and we have a 5 year old already. We actually planned this pregnancy and now here I am all alone. I was extremlely depressed and pushed him away during my 2nd trimester. Now that I want everything to be okay, its not, and its too late. He has moved on with another woman with 4 kids of her own and to make matters even worse he has moved across the state. I have no family here and am just so confused. I say to all the woman who want their men to leave, make sure that is what you really want, because in the end there is no going back. Good luck ladies.
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replied September 4th, 2010
im 24 years old and 29 weeks pregnant with my first child, married for only 7 months and baby was planned. now im all alone, husband out enjoying his single life since he abandoned me 2 months ago. he previously abandoned his 3 other children from another relationship, but wanted to see them again, but has decided to do the same to me. i love him so much, finding it so difficult being away from him. have moved back in with my mum, but its not the same without having the support from a husband. cant believe it has turned out this way, its soo lonely and ive not been able to enjoy the thought of my baby yet, he has ruined that. i still wish he would turn up and have a happy ending, but i know its not going to happen, how he can ignor my calls and txts so easily and act as if he doesnt have a wife or baby on the way. i feel if he can treat me like this, then i dont want him to have anything to do with the baby. im crying all the time and feel so down.
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replied October 24th, 2010
OMG, I can relate to all of your stories! I too am 36 years young and 36 weeks pregnant! I have been abandoned by my unborn daughter's father! I must say that it has been extremely difficult! I never would have imagined myself in this situation. I never dreamed this for myself! However, this is my reality! I have asked the same question, why me, or how could he just walk away as if his child doesn't even exist. Thankfully, God revealed the answers to me throughout this entire experience. God simply stated that in the last days critical times will be hard to deal with, MEN WILL BE LOVERS OF THEMSELVES! In saying that, these men ALL sound selfish, cold-hearted, insensitive, and relentless~ They all lack spiritual and family values needed to rise up and do the right thing!

I have learned throughout this experience that my unborn's daughter's father behavior is not a reflection of my self worth! His behavior does not and will not define me as a woman! I have decided to look at his behavior as an attack against himself, because he's has and is missing out on a wonderful experience. I'm not missing out on a thing! I'm hear experiencing every single doctor's appointment, every single movement, I'm experiencing the beauty in bringing forth life. Something that he will never be able to experience. I have decided to focus on the joy of motherhood versus his dubious behavior that he will one day in the far future regret! I refuse to allow his behavior to influence depression, anxiety, or stress! Don't get me wrong I have my moments but they are far and inbetween! I realize that I cannot depend on him at all! My Faith lyes in God! I was just homeless & jobless! Within a couple of months God provided me with an apartment, and everything my unborn child needs! Keep in mind, I'm still jobless! God will provide for his babies! He has also provided me with a peace of mind throughout this experience. You would be shocked by what he's capable of if you decided to lay your burdens on him my friends! Each day is a struggle, but with him I have managed to get through without having to endure the emotional roller coaster that most of you are experiencing. Once I decided that I was going to have my daughter, I gave my daughter's father an out. I'm not in the business of keeping a man that doesn't one to be kept! Plus, I decided the moment that I decided to have her that I was going to place her first. Not just after she was born, but before! My decision was not easy but I must do what I have to do to make certain that she's healthy! So, daily I told myself that he was unworthy of my thoughts! I even started feeling sorry for him because he was incapable of appreciating such a blessing! I refused to allow my mind to think about what he was doing, because I realized that his value system had to be off! I even told him that I didn't care if he had one thousand girlfriends, and a million wives, I'm unconcerned with his behavior, it's all about my baby! I'm certain he was upset with my attitude and strength! He point I'm making is that I had to remember who I was, am, and striving to become ladies!!!!! We are all worthy of everything! In saying that, do not allow this vulnerable situation to get the best of you! I believe that your only source right now is GOD!!!! You may not believe me, some may even believe that they are so weakened that GOD isn't present, but I believe that even at our weakest state God is present!!!! We are all alive and striving to bring these babies into this world! They were all meant to be here, for God's purpose! Place your faith in God, not the man! God will never ever forsaken you my sisters!!!!! I'm speaking from the heart! This is my experience! And for those who do not believe in God, tap into your inner self and find strength! KNOW YOUR WORTH!!!!!!! You are not only your physical appearance, you are a Mighty Spirit!!!!!!
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replied November 27th, 2010
Everybody should read this poem. The one thing we always have is a choice on our attitude.

ATTITUDE

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on my life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you. We are in charge of our attitudes.

---Charles Swindell
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replied November 29th, 2010
Im with all of you....
I am another one on this band wagon. I am with all of you. I have an 8 year old daughter from my ex-husband. I have been a single mother for five years and i have loved every moment of it minus the lonliness of not having a mate. I am 34 years old and I had been w/ my 34 year old BF for a year. Now here I am 10 weeks pregnant. He has not told his family b/c he is "not married and now the mother of his child has another child". We are no longer together b/c he hates me so much that I have "ruined his life" by bringing his child into this world out of wedlock and w/ an already single mother. I feel alone and its really hard being sick to my stomach many days of the week. But as all of you other mothers or soon to be mothers, we are not alone (as we see here). God has given us this gift for a reason. If these men, i mean boys cannot accept our babies 100%, then they are the ones who will be missing out!! God will only give us what we can handle, so we will all by a-okay!!
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replied December 18th, 2010
I understand your desires to be with your boyfriend .You love him and hes the father of your child.It deosnt sounds like you guys were truly committed in your relationship if he wont accept the fact your pregnant.Sometimes it takes guys a while to come around , what ever you due don't push him away.Dont overwhelm him with everything but remind him hes aslo having a baby . That its not alright towards his family to keep this a secret , or to you or his child.Offer to help him tell his parents.
I wouldnt move the relationship any faster than it has gone for now. i would give each er some space and focus on strengthening the relationship you guys have , you haven't finished bonding enough to be able to take on all this struggles.you have more to learn about him.so go out on dates and not every talk should be about the baby.focus on you too and when it comes to the a baby, he should be resposible for the preg to i agree and it not right that hes not as supportive.understand that this baby is in your tummy not his , he may not see as you do.Focus on being happy about the birth of your child , share your pregnancy moments with a caring friend .look forward too the baby and try not to compare your life with others as it not their life .Focus on the positives and what type of mother you want to be , go to parenting classes, prenantal classes ect.. due it for you so you can focus on the preg and what to expect. Make sure their always a open door for him to come with you , make sure he knows and encouraging it . this could help bring him down to reality .aslo help understand pregnancy and what to expect and parenting classes are very informative to all parents , weather one agrees and it can offer a way to communicate about the baby so he opens up more and you guys bond that way. if he refuses dont push on it , you cant change it so don't get your self all work ted up you don't need that right now think about the baby.Focus on your self , dont rely on him the way hes acting i wouldn't put to much stock, so Gard your self well.and see if he comes around .don't move in together unless you are strong unuogh relationship wise to handle it.other wise it will back fire , maybe stay with family for a while.don't use survival as basis for living together . if the communication and trust is not good between use guys , it will be hard to get along when living together, as it will be hard to make decisions.
make sure you spend unuogh time together ,and have some family time and make sure he gets a chance if he steps up to be with the child one on one for a bond and learning what it means to take care of the child.it will not be easy or the way you pictured, but when you guys are ready to live together. it wont be as hard in the long run , living apart has its own challenges so it wouldn't be best to make permanent decisions that could prevent living together. SPend some nights together ,working on communication and then spend some days apart and when your away from eacher , have him take the baby some of the time.
you guys would have to decide when its time to move in together. i would say if it works out between you too .set a date for marriage, and after you get married you move in that way yall know if hes really serous about being a family, however this after you have wrokted on the relationship for a while and lived apart. its a good guide line to make future plans of moving in .being married will give you his last name as well as a ring and some of the benefits as a legalized couple ,when living together .if you guys divorced and he made more money , you could get alimony just as a example their security involved many, many more things ect...
If he deosnt step up , realize it wont be the end of the world it will be hard at first but yall get their and life will get better and maybe even things that you wanted to gte out of it, just important to learn from all of this regardless of what happens , well good luck
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replied December 18th, 2010
I understand your desires to be with your boyfriend .You love him and hes the father of your child.It deosnt sounds like you guys were truly committed in your relationship if he wont accept the fact your pregnant.Sometimes it takes guys a while to come around , what ever you due don't push him away.Dont overwhelm him with everything but remind him hes aslo having a baby . That its not alright towards his family to keep this a secret , or to you or his child.Offer to help him tell his parents.
I wouldnt move the relationship any faster than it has gone for now. i would give each er some space and focus on strengthening the relationship you guys have , you haven't finished bonding enough to be able to take on all this struggles.you have more to learn about him.so go out on dates and not every talk should be about the baby.focus on you too and when it comes to the a baby, he should be resposible for the preg to i agree and it not right that hes not as supportive.understand that this baby is in your tummy not his , he may not see as you do.Focus on being happy about the birth of your child , share your pregnancy moments with a caring friend .look forward too the baby and try not to compare your life with others as it not their life .Focus on the positives and what type of mother you want to be , go to parenting classes, prenantal classes ect.. due it for you so you can focus on the preg and what to expect. Make sure their always a open door for him to come with you , make sure he knows and encouraging it . this could help bring him down to reality .aslo help understand pregnancy and what to expect and parenting classes are very informative to all parents , weather one agrees and it can offer a way to communicate about the baby so he opens up more and you guys bond that way. if he refuses dont push on it , you cant change it so don't get your self all work ted up you don't need that right now think about the baby.Focus on your self , dont rely on him the way hes acting i wouldn't put to much stock, so Gard your self well.and see if he comes around .don't move in together unless you are strong unuogh relationship wise to handle it.other wise it will back fire , maybe stay with family for a while.don't use survival as basis for living together . if the communication and trust is not good between use guys , it will be hard to get along when living together, as it will be hard to make decisions.
make sure you spend unuogh time together ,and have some family time and make sure he gets a chance if he steps up to be with the child one on one for a bond and learning what it means to take care of the child.it will not be easy or the way you pictured, but when you guys are ready to live together. it wont be as hard in the long run , living apart has its own challenges so it wouldn't be best to make permanent decisions that could prevent living together. SPend some nights together ,working on communication and then spend some days apart and when your away from eacher , have him take the baby some of the time.
you guys would have to decide when its time to move in together. i would say if it works out between you too .set a date for marriage, and after you get married you move in that way yall know if hes really serous about being a family, however this after you have wrokted on the relationship for a while and lived apart. its a good guide line to make future plans of moving in .being married will give you his last name as well as a ring and some of the benefits as a legalized couple ,when living together .if you guys divorced and he made more money , you could get alimony just as a example their security involved many, many more things ect...
If he deosnt step up , realize it wont be the end of the world it will be hard at first but yall get their and life will get better and maybe even things that you wanted to gte out of it, just important to learn from all of this regardless of what happens , well good luck
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replied January 27th, 2011
Hi i am 36 weeks pregnant with my second child i have a dughter who is 2 1/2 yrs old.
My man has stuck by me through it all, the stress, the anxiety, the naging, the hormones. Been to doctors appointments. Im not trying to rub your noses in, but if your man int going to stick by you through the pregnancy he aint going to through the yeArs of raising th child. Stop moping around over these WORTHLESS BOYS and think about yours/babies health and bringing this child up.
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replied April 9th, 2011
hi, i am 20 years old and am 35 weeks pregnant, my boyfriend split with me last week and it was completley out the blue. He said he wasnt happy anymore and he doesnt want anything to do with the baby. so i had to move back to live with my mum in another town and now have a baby boy on the way, with no dad, no money and no home. I am currentley with my mum in an overcrowded house with no father support. I already have a little girl who is my world but it is alot of hard work. I am lucky to have the friends and family i have but i do feel so so depressed and alone so i no exactly what your going through hun and it is awful. i tend to have a good cry everyday and it does help but it wont completley take away the hurt.
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replied May 30th, 2011
25 SINGLE WITH 2 KIDS.
WELL AM 25 I AHVE A 7 YEAR OL AND ALMOST 2 YEAR OLD M ALONE AND HAVE BEEN THROUGH ALL THIS ONEI WAS RAPPED AND BEATEN AND THAT HPW AHE WAS MADE IM DUE IN 3 WEEKS AND AND TO MOVE IN 4 DAYS I HAVE NO FAMILY I LIVE IN A SMALL TOWN AND I FEEL LIKE ITS HER FAULT WHY THINGS ARE SO HARD WHY I CANT BE HAPPY. I HAVE SO MUCH RESENTMENT TWORDS HER IM A GOOD MOM THES ALL WHO I AM. IM SO HURT AND SAD THAT I FEEL THIS WAY EVEN I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO.
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replied December 16th, 2011
I'm 20, 34 weeks pregnant very scared confused & alone! My fianc of 2 years cheated on me for the last 6weeks of our relationship we have now split due to this. He begged me for a year for a baby and after long thought and the fact of how in love we was I finally agreed. As soon as I fell we slowly started to drift apart his constant lies and broken promises made me nag constantly he was giving me no attention and as my bump grew so did my insecurities! I started getting contractions at 33 weeks and was told to go to hospital by my midwife he turned up at 3 in the morning drunk! I am disgusted with him this is not the man I fell in love with. I have decided not to have him at the birth because he is clearly not reliable anymore. Some days I fell fine others I fell so confused and alone even with a very supportive mum and amazing best friend there's something missing. I don't want to get back with him because I'm worth alot more and my baby is now my priority but how do I deal with all these dramas and stress that I have manage to basically block out since finding out. Any tips please help!!!
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