Watching husband with another woman (Page 1)

Come on...nobody?

I have this fantasy, and have had it at least since my early 20's (I am now in my early 40's). I don't know why I have this particular fantasy of my husband being with another woman while I watch. So far, we have only been to strip clubs, where either we have received dual lap dances, or I have watched him receive a lap dance. It really is a strong fantasy for me, and I get excited just thinking of the concept. I am honestly a bit disturbed by this particular kink in my fantasy realm. I have become so concerned about this particular fantasy that I have discussed it with a therapist. We are still trying to figure out where this fantasy originates from, and thus far, we have identified that it originates from my early interactions with my biological father. But, I just started with the therapist. I have discussed with the therapist as well, whether or not it is destructive, as we have not fully enacted the fantasy out yet. While the fantasy only lives in the fantasy realm, the therapist has advised me that if my husband and I enjoy it, what's the problem? The fantasy, with the attendant dirty talk, does make for hot sex with my husband. The question is, what happens when it moves into reality? I will confess that I did enact this fantasy out with a former live-in boyfriend. I got really hot and bothered, and lived off the visual imagery of the act for months. It's a bizarre fantasy though.

heck no...my man better not touch another woman or we're done..but as you said in your post he has admitted to fantasizing about me with another man while he watches....but thats not for me either

Thank You!
I did not mean actually doing it...just fantasizing about it. Does it get you going?
Thanx

ok well..i would NEVER tell him this bc it would get his hope up about his fantasy but I DO fantasize about him and me with another guy..i'm not sure if its that Im really into it or just that its because I KNOW he's REALLY into it and it would turn me on to see him that turned on..because I never even fantasized about that sort of thing before he brought it up...and since he's brought it up i find myself thinking about it, and then I feel kind of guilty about it bc while its an interesting fantasy..its absolutely 100% NOT something I would ever consider going through with..bringing another person in your bedroom can REALLY mess things up and our relationship would not benefit from that..plus he's my first and only and i'd like to keep it that way as for fantasizing about a woman with us? NO WAY haha...like i said earlier, i dont want to even think about him touching another woman...and he's not interested in that anyway he's interested in seeing me with another guy..so whatever, its cool..i think i woulda been alittle more upset if he wanted another woman..i'd feel...inadequate i guess

Thanx!
Fantasy is just that FANTASY.
It gets me going fantasizing about seeing my wife penetrated by some hunk while she is giving me oral and she admitted getting wet about seeing me ram some hottie from behind while she masturbates. However I would not go for it in real life(not now anyways:), and she would not want me to do another woman in real life. She says she would twist her neck off ha,ha. We've been together for 20 years so things like fantasies help to keep good sexlife going...

true..and you know i'm wondering if my bf would even actually go through with this in real life..he says he would want to but then in the back of my mind i'm wondering..even IF he were to persuade me into giving into this I feel like after the deed has been done and hes gotten his fantasy he would want nothing more to do with me...i feel like things would change...and i've told him like you said a fantasy is just a fantasy...making it a reality is a)difficult and b)can really change things

You are definitely not alone... I actually can NOT climax without the visual image of my husband having sex with another woman. I've tried to figure out why I have this particular fantasy, and I after to talking to a few friends who do not share my fantasy, but have different fantasies that I do not share, I realize that our fantasies our really based on our own personalities, turn-ons, etc. I am turned on by seeing someone else totally turned on. I know my husband is turned on by me, but there is nothing like that that new relationship energy... that first time sex. So visualizing him with someone else, is basically visualizing two people at the height of that new sex arousal, witch is like 10 times more potent than married 5 year plus arousal.

Thanx!
that's exactly how I feel.
I love giving pleasure to my wife, watching her turned on and hot gets me going...and she feels the same way. Sometimes we'll role play, pick different names for each other and call each other by those names while having sex...it gets pretty hot then...

I just recently started fantasizing about my boyfriend of 14 years having sex with or getting oral by another woman. I have no idea why this fantasy started now, 14 years into our relationship but it gets me hotter than anything else.

I think you are getting more comfortable with your sexuality and your relationship is more secure. For me watching my loved one getting hot makes me hot...

But heres my thing....what if you actually did end up banging another woman one night and you both were completely turned on but then after...you realized this other woman "felt better" and turned you on more than your wife. Then what? Youre left with only your wife and the bedroom is never the same? Im afraid thats how my boyfriend will be if we actually turn this fantasy into a reality...

I actually have the fantasy of watching my hubby with another woman it turns me way on i=we did this before we got married but wish he would now as well

Yes, I have the those thoughts. I told my husband about them and of course he was game as long as i join in. My point is if you both set some ground rules, love, and trust each other. Have fun with it. It's your life and marriage. Do what's gonna make you both happy. ;D

hahaha!! Well for me it started with thoughts of him having sex with another woman while we were having sex. Then I brought it up on time during intercourse. He said to me "Na, not another woman, How bout another man join us to help me pleasure you"? He said that would turn him on to see me with another man?? I was shocked!! but not scared of the idea. We joked and joked for a few months about it, and everytime while in the middle of intercourse. He would always say to me when inside me, "pretend this is another guy inside you" I would close my eyes and picture someone else fking me while my husband was laying next to us kissing, rubbing, and touching me. I started finding myself thinking about it alot while at work. So one day It drove me crazy that I asked him if he really wanted to try it, that I would. We ended up finding a swing party going on in the city near where we live. We met a guy who was working there as a host. My husband asked me what I thought of him? I thought he was attractive and extremely funny. I was a bit nervouse cause I am a very petite girl, half asian only 5'3" 105 lbs. This guy was like 6'2" and very well endowed!! We both felt comfortable enough to invite him over one night during the week. after about three weeks of getting to know him we had our moment. The two of them were so gentle and respectful. I truley enjoyed EVERY moment of the experience. Everything was like in slow motion. We fked for hours hahaha!! played adult games, watched porn and took pictures. We were all just having fun! For my husband and I it was for us to enjoy as a couple. something for us to remember, to experience together. I enjoyed it so much that one night about a month later out of the blue while my husband and I were in the middle of having sex the phone rang, it was the guy. My husband invited him over, told him the door would be unlocked to just walk in and that we were in the back room LOL. That was our second encounter with him. We haven't done it since then. That was back in 2003. We have talked about it but nothing real serious. Michelle

I too feel totally turned on at the thought of my husband having sex with another woman. we have discussed it at length, and he has decided to do it, so long as i feel 100% comfortable with it. recently he has found a woman he would like to get to know a little better, and possibly have this experience with.
however, the problem is now, that because it feels like it is becoming a reality, i literally cannot concentrate on anything else apart from this, i feel like i want it to happen right now!
but my husband is quite choosy, and will only look for a certain 'type.'

Recently, I started having this fantasy, too. I can't understand why this is a turn on for me. It doesn't even seem normal or healthy. It's good to know that I'm not the only wife having this fantasy..

my wife has told me this too. i told her she can pick the other woman it didnt matter to me who it was or even if I knew her or not I would do it as long as she was there with us and would promise she wouldnt let it couse a problem with our mariage

I feel much better now. I was wondering if I was the only crazy one out the that gets off thinking of my husband with another woman. I have mentioned it to him, but of course I would have to be there. Otherwise it would defeat the purpose. He said he could not d that in front of me because he would feel as though he is disrespecting me, but if I gave him the OK to go do someone then he could do that then come home and tell me about it. That would make me jealous because I am not involved. When I saw involved, it doesn't even have to be a 3some, but just me as a voyeur.

I hate that I do this, but I also fantasize about my husband having sex with little Barbie doll types. Or redheads, because I know he likes redheads too. He loves me and says that he would NEVER want to be with another woman. And honestly, I would never want that either.

But for some reason, in the fantasy realm it seems really, really hot. Though just thinking about it right now--it does nothing for me. He and I have to actually be having sex in order for the scenario to seem erotic.

If I'm honest with myself, I think it's based on my own low body image right now. I could see why he would want to eat out a little gorgeous thing with flat abs, but why would he want to touch me? I don't fit my own idea of pretty, so it just seems illogical to fantasize about him and me together. Even while we're having sex.

Hope things helps. Felt good to get it off my chest at least.

Wow, your honesty is amazing. I hope your self-esteem rises, as it should. Eating those "gorgeous things" may be overrated. And if your fantasies do work for you, you might enjoy them until you get better ones or better reasons.

Our world of sexual fantasy works in strange ways...If this excites us and bring more erotic pleasure into the relationship, then go with it....Only keep it in your mind as your actions play this special dream of lust....Just remember that this is only a fantasy and for safety sake, leave it there....Take care....

Caroline

I think you are so right. You are playing with fire if this happens. Your relationship will have no limits and you will feel the guilt when it is over. Your relationship may be good but what happens with you get mad and he needs someone to comfort him. Beware, things don't always come out as you wish they would have.

I think you are so right. You are playing with fire if this happens. Your relationship will have no limits and you will feel the guilt when it is over. Your relationship may be good but what happens with you get mad and he needs someone to comfort him. Beware, things don't always come out as you wish they would have.

I think you are so right. You are playing with fire if this happens. Your relationship will have no limits and you will feel the guilt when it is over. Your relationship may be good but what happens with you get mad and he needs someone to comfort him. Beware, things don't always come out as you wish they would have.

I think you are so right. You are playing with fire if this happens. Your relationship will have no limits and you will feel the guilt when it is over. Your relationship may be good but what happens with you get mad and he needs someone to comfort him. Beware, things don't always come out as you wish they would have.

I think you are so right. You are playing with fire if this happens. Your relationship will have no limits and you will feel the guilt when it is over. Your relationship may be good but what happens with you get mad and he needs someone to comfort him. Beware, things don't always come out as you wish they would have.

My bf wanted this too, I hadn't really considered it as a ossibility until then. I'd fantasized about it, but that was all. When I met my bf he told me of past experiences that he had. I felt turned on and this surprised me. I knew this was really something he wanted and wouldake him happy so I thought about doing it. Hhe has only had 2 male 1 female encounters.

He told me any of his friends would join as he felt they would all find me attractive. One of his friends emailed me after I asked my bf what he looked like. I knew from my bf that this guy has also experienced it. He was a little forward in his mail so we didn't meet him for drinks as we said. Instead I went out with bf for drinks with couple of friends. One was a friend of his from childhood who has joined him in these previous encounters. He was sweet, very attracted to me and let me know it from the start. When he met me he didn't realise that me and my bf were together. Anyways, one thing led to another and we all ended up somewhere more private.

I enjoyed the fact his friend found me attractive, let him touch me etc but I couldn't have intercourse with him. It was my first time like this so maybe I'll feel more comfortable if we do again.

I too fantasise about my bf with another woman and I know he would love this as he has not done it yet. Unless I know and trust her I don't think I'd want him to kiss her as to me this is so intimate, in some ways more than sex. Trouv is now finding someone...

I'm also not sure if I'd just want to watch or join. I've had one bi experience but I cared about her and haven't been attracted to another woman enough to want more.

Would you (original poster) want to just watch or join on?

What has happened with you since?