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Wasn't able to penetrate

I'm 27 and my girlfriend is 21, just out of school. Currently we're living in different cities and don't get to see each other as often as I'd like. She was with me two weeks ago for a short day and a half.

We spent the majority of the time in the bedroom. Mostly foreplay, cuddling, and when it came to sex she wanted to wait for the evening. Which was fine, she wanted it to be special. Now I find this woman very attractive and throughout the day when out I find myself sporting an erection under my pants. When dancing with her, eating with her, or just being with her. However, that night after a movie, dinner, and dancing we returned to my condo and I just couldn't keep an erection.

Now, my girl is 21 and out of school. She's NEVER been with somebody who couldn't get it up. Until now. And she's convinced that the reason I couldn't get an erection was because I find her sexually repulsive. This impotence was a ten hour thing, had erections earlier in the day and they were back later in the day while we were out and she had to leave. It wouldn't be an issue were we able to see each other more often.


Julie is convinced the problem was something she did. I'm not sure what disclosure I should give her... because in part, she's inexperienced besides fast, just-out-of-homes, college hump-a-thons.

She's younger than the majority of other women I dated and I didn't want to hurt her feelings but....

When I was over her, looking down I grew really bored and was anticipating how her kisses would feel, she was laying on the bed and I was bored with the idea of doing it missionary (wet fish style).

Her hands move on me like a Brillo pad. I think it would be less painful if she just bit down during oral sex.

I'm not judging her, these were just my emotions when I was with her.

Clearly communication about this is required for next time... but what's next I don't feel comfortable telling her.

I'm sexually experienced and adventurous. But I'm also a nice guy. I don't get into relationships with people unless I'm really interested in them.

We've known each other for eight months and been together for four. And I really like her. Moving on the path toward loving her. However, I also am not sure if I'm willing to make that commitment. And I really, don't want to hurt her.

That doubt though, doesn't mean that right now I'd like nothing more than to see her and be with her. She's really an amazing girl.

But she's just inexperienced sexually (we all are/were), and more importantly is really hurt that I didn't penetrate here (though other things were done to mutual orgasms).

Any advice as to what to tell her to make her feel better?
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replied November 11th, 2009
Community Volunteer
IMO, you can't manufacturer hot sexual want....Either you have got it or you don't....This is the thing that holds two people together.....To this day I hunger for this man, and he hungers for me....It's the glue that cements the two of us together....Take care...

Caroline
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replied November 11th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
Just be honest with her and tell her how you feel...Jenny
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replied November 12th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
Just walk away from it. I tend to think of the penis as a compas needle and yours wasn't pointing at her. You're obviously fond of her but I think you went somewhere with this girl you probably shouldn't have. You allready told her it wasn't her and she didn't believe it. You could continue to try to convince her but that's just continuing to build a connection with a girl you seem to be looking for a polite escape from.

Walk away from this and don't forget the lesson.
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