Was this sexual assault or rape or my fault?

I have this really good guy friend, he and I have known each other for years. We have never dated or done anything sexually, his family is very close with my family and we share a few of the same friends. He is also in a serious relationship with a good friend of mine.
One night, we went out drinking (like we have before on multiple occasions) We aren't major party-scene people or binge drinkers, but it happens sometimes. So when we got back to my place to sleep, he followed me into my room and said he wanted to sleep there because my living room couch was too uncomfortable. Since we were close, I didn't mind and didn't think anything of it.
We were laying there and talking, I was half asleep and quite drunk by this point....just ready to pass out. He started reaching over and pulling on my clothes, and I thought it was a joke. He kept doing it, so I turned to lay with my back to him...he just got more aggressive about it, and I lost my patience and tried to leave the room. He held me back, and I started to get frightened but he got all soothing and sweet, but I was asking him about his girlfriend and saying that I really just wasn't going to do anything sexual with him at all. He said "that's fine, you don't need to do anything to me." and proceeded to penetrate me with his hands. It hurt, and I was uncoordinated because of the alcohol, but I kept asking him to stop and telling him I didn't want to and even trying to make jokes to bring him back to the FRIENDSHIP factor. I tried everything, becoming more frantic and upset, and eventually he just put his hand over my mouth while he became bolder and more ...aggressive? As soon as his hand was over my face, he seemed to lose even the smallest amount of gentleness.
He never used his penis, he only used his hands and mouth during this. It lasted over two hours, and I even passed out a few times (due to alcohol or lack of air, I don't know) and eventually he just stopped, let me go, and masturbated right beside me. And then he went to sleep.
I feel very very awkward about this situation....he was my friend. For so long. There was never any indication or forewarning. We flirted, but it was the flirting that would happen between two friends. I had never sexually teased him...I only told my two best friends what happened, but they were just standoffish about it, so I stopped talking about it to them. I almost feel like I am lying about it, because it seems surreal, like it didn't happen, like it couldn't have happened.
Its been almost two months, and it still bothers me. I have anxiety attacks, I feel isolated from people, I suddenly feel ugly and bloated, I'm hyper-aware of my appearance. I don't want to go out with friends, I just want to lay in my room.
What can I do to get past this? I don't want to press charges because it would be a huuuuge deal between friends/my family (it would kill my father, this boys parents are very close and dear to him).....so what can I do? What can I say? I want to tell my best friends all the details of what happened, I want to just have it out there....but they don't ask me and they act like it never happened...