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Womens Health > Sexual Health - Women Forum > Was it my fault or was i raped??
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Q: Was it my fault or was i raped??
asked by: mishaboo2 on July 7th, 2008
New User
HI,

I want some advice. I went out to the pub the other weekend with a friend from work. I'm not a very big drinker or anything but i said i would have a few since we were having a girls only night. We went to the local pub, with a few drinks in me already. But anyway i continued drinking in the pub, but from the second we walked into the pub these guys approached us. They played pool with us and seemed really nice. One guy kept trying it on with me, putting his hand down my pants etc. Didn't pay much attention as at this stage i was quite drunk. We continued partying with them for the night, and they asked us back to their house. So me and my friend went back to their house. I was standing but still incapable of making correct decisions. But anyway i ended up in bed with one of the guys. I had sex with him, but not that i wanted to. He kept trying and trying throughout the night to have sex i kept saying no but he kept doing it anyway. I lightly cursed at him and even kicked him, all i was interested in was sleeping. I even turned on my side with my back to him to avoid him, but even that didn't stop him.

I fell asleep, but was woken by him leaving the room. A few minutes later i hear him coming back into the room and getting into bed with him, where he began to touch me and try to have sex with me, he never said anything. but again i was refusing to turn round and have sex. Again this didn't stop him and he had sex with me from behind, but it was only then that i realised that the man now having sex with me is not the first guy i went to bed with. To check, but with out turning around i asked him his name.When i found out for certain that it was a different guy,i tell him to get the f##k out of the room.

I now feel really dirty and cant stand the thought of it, i also now have to get tested for pregnancy and STD's or STI's.

Want i want to know (after a very long winded story) was it my fault? Should i have been more aware even when incapacitated from alcohol, or was it rape, as he never spoke when he entered the room or my bed or declared he was someone else to give me the choice. And remember i did say NO.

Please help.
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worrywart01
replied on July 7th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
it sounds to me like even while intoxicated you still said "no"..and several times at that...from what it sounds like i'd say yes..he did take advantage of you..NO means NO..and he kept going...this sounds like a case of rape in my opinion
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Maddie34
replied on July 8th, 2008
Moderator
You were raped, and of course this wasn't your fault.
Have you spoken to the police about this? The police should be informed immediately, you did nothing wrong and these guys need to be reported. Go to the hospital with a friend or family member for support and tell them you were raped and everything you can remember as to what happened. It's so important that it's reported.

Please, talk to someone about this. A close family member or friend, just anybody to reach out to and talk. Don't keep this to yourself. You may want to consider therapy as well.

You can pm me any time if you need someone to speak with. Sad
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worrywart01
replied on July 8th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
how long ago was this? Its important to report rape cases as soon as possible...if you've already showered chances are you've washed away most evidence..but it should definitely be reported..you didn't deserve this in any way and it was NOT your fault
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