Depression Forum - Want to stop mutilating

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Q: Want to stop mutilating

asked by: justkisscool on June 5th, 2009

New User

Hello... First of all, I'm french so please, don't be rude if I make some mistakes !

I'm 19 yrs old, since a few years (about 4 yrs ?!) I feel weird like, one day I'm so happy, going out with friends, practicing some sport, like everything's OK...
And sometimes like, coming from newhere, I feel so sad, lonely, unliked, missunderstood etc...
Im not the kind of girl who talks to her best friend and tell her Im not OK, i keep it to myself, but the proble is that now, to get better, i found smtg pretty bad for me, no one have seen what I do when I feel bad... untill last friday...
I was at a friend's place with my friends...
My best friend found out what I do cause she saw my "sponge bracelet" on my wrist and she told me later she found out...
I was shocked and terrify cause I didn't want anyone to know what I do wause im not proud of it [ :'( ]

Anyway, if something like 'fail at exam', 'having no money, no job', don't reach me... I can be helpless by stupid things like a friend going bad or jealusy or really stupid stuffs !!!

I wanna know how I can change, I mean, I wanna stop mutilate myself, I wanna be able to talk to my friend when I need it, I don't wanna be helpless because of stupid things...

Please help me Sad

Replies(4)

breck08

replied on June 5th, 2009

Supporter

Oh sweetie am I understanding you that you are a cutter? How long have you been doing this? Can you give me some insight to a little more about yourself? Example, Family? You know you have a problem and the first step is admitting it, so GOOD for you! Second, are you seeing a counselor? Life is so hard at any age. Especially when you are young. It seems like when ones are kids they cant wait to grow up and when they do it is very overwhelming. What you have described it sounds like you suffer from a lot of insecurities? It is so hard when any individual is not happy within to show happiness in any other aspect of life around them. You have a friend that is supportive and thats a plus! Maybe you both can go to support groups together? I know you may feel helpless right now, but you can change that! Knowledge is power. Start a journal and write down your feelings daily. Have an outlet you can put on paper rather than yourself. Get some professional help to assist you. Definitely use this forum to reach out. I hope this helps.

Users who thank breck08 for this post: Fairy Godmother

justkisscool

replied on June 5th, 2009

New User

Hi, and thanks for replying...
I don't exactly remember since when I cut my wrist...
About my family, I have an old sister, she's like "the perfect dream girl", she succes everything !
My lil brother is pretty normal, ntg special to tell about him...
Me and my family are not the kind of showing our love, huging, telling friendly stuffs... I feel close to my dad, and so far away from my 'mom'.
Yes I admit I have a problem, I realised that when I knew how weird I am, but I never solved the problem...
I can't get a professional help, it cost too much and here in france, you're looked like a crazy person if you're helped by a psy...
I've already try writting my feelings : pointless.
Yes my friend's trynna support me but for how long ? I mean she's going sad and upset when she knows Im not OK and I don't wanna tell her why, so will she leave me ?

breck08

replied on June 5th, 2009

Supporter

www.selfinjury.com

Research the above website. I am not familiar with life in France. Have you tried to ask your father for help? As far as if your friend will leave you? Honey no one can give you a honest answer because it would be speculation. I do believe though that true friends are there when your low and there to share in the high. Why do you consider yourself weird? Because your different? If everyone walked like a duck and quacked like a duck then the world would be filled with just ducks. What about the swans, doves, everything else? Everyone is different and everyone brings to this world their own uniqueness. What do you like to do? What brings you joy? Can you go to a regular physician and seek some help? Writing your feelings down are not pointless! I will suggest you still continue doing so. Be honest in your writing. You never know you may just write the next biggest book one day on how to not give up. You can message me anytime!

Users who thank breck08 for this post: Fairy Godmother

timeisshort

replied on June 7th, 2009

Experienced User

You know breck08 is right, never give up on yourself! we won't! How are you with God?, or would you not want to talk about that.
You are not weird! It's just that people are so senseless now days and you are one who cares of others & their feelings & that makes you sad for the way they think? no?

Users who thank timeisshort for this post: Fairy Godmother

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