I am stressed out and I have cut and I want to cut more!!

I have been back at work after 4 months off for a month now. After being back a month I went and saw my doctor who strongly suggested I stay at work on reduced duties as the stress is just eating me up and making things worse.

I work in Legal Recoveries....so basically when someone does not pay there bills and all the collectors have done what they can the file comes to me to start litigating and take people to court....somewhat stressful and negative job.

I spoke with my boss last week and gave him the certificate.

Since then I have waited....mind you I have had to continue with my role (even after giving a certificate) as it was month end and nothing is more important than damn month end.

I waited and waited and finally went up to my boss today....his response I"I have no admin work for you here"....then he turned back to work.

I questioned further and he said to deal with HR and he left it at that.

Now I am stressed!!!!!!!!

I am dealing with all the mental health crap and now have to deal with the added stress that I may be getting fired!!!!!

My first reaction was to reach for a blade and put 5 minor cuts on my arm.

But it is not enough....that just does not cut it anymore (so to speak)

I dont know where to turn.

I am at work right now and cant go anywehere...I cant give them any more reason.

I just wait for HR to come down now.