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Q: Want a baby

asked by: choklate_milk on January 27th, 2009

New User

I am 20 years old and graduating from college in May, my boyfriend/fiance is in his first year of college. I am ready to have a baby but he wants to wait another 4 years. I don't think I can, I want to be a mom right now!

I already have a job lined up for me when I graduate and we have a perfect 2 bedroom apartment. We know we want to have children someday, but he wants to wait. I told him I will stay home with the baby while he finishes school and we have EXTRODINARY help from my parents and family.

I don't want to pressure him anymore but I want a child, I am ready!

I went off the pill without anyone knowing, would you say thats "sneaky"?
And how could I get him to agree? I don't want to convince him, but I want him to see that it is possible, that we arn't 15 anymore. HELP!!!

Replies(7)

Hoping21

replied on February 1st, 2009

New User

Tell Him!

What might start out as simply not telling him could very easily turn in to lying. What happens when he asks you? If you tell him the truth he's likely to get mad at you for going behind his back and if you don't tell him you are lying. It's better to be honest with eachother from the beginning and to make the decision together. If you decide it's a decision you can't live with then maybe you need to look for something else. If you make the decision on your own you could end up doing it on your own.

choklate_milk

replied on February 2nd, 2009

New User

he says his reason for not wanting the baby right now is because he wants to be a father.. he wants to take the paternity leave and be a stay at home dad. (he really wants kids! hes gonna be a good dad!)

but he doesnt want them now becuz hes still in college... but he has like 7 more years to go.. and i dont think i can wait that long! Sad

deteragram

replied on February 2nd, 2009

Supporter

Right now I think you need to stop thinking of yourself and start thinking of the two people you should love most in the world: your partner and your child. It isn't fair to either of them to 'accidentally' get pregnant. I don't think you are ready to have a child; it's a sign of immaturity that you "want it now", Veruca.
(Any Willy Wonka fans in the house?)

Hoping21

replied on February 2nd, 2009

New User

I understand wanting to be a stay at home mom/dad but it's just one more thing that you have to take into account and plan for when having a kid. Not only do you have to be able to afford the kid itself but if one of you is going to stay home you have to be able to do it on one income.

vulcan

replied on February 2nd, 2009

Experienced User

Why just

Let the Lord to take care of it, you dont have to lie about it, every baby have their time to come to this world.

ssarah

replied on February 10th, 2009

New User

Talk

I understand that you feel the need to have a baby right now. Although your b/f will end up feeling anger towards you and maybe the baby because he has told you he doesnt feel ready. Maybe you could talk to him and work out a plan as to when he might feel ready. Waiting till he is done school isnt a good idea if it is 7 years (thats a long time) but maybe if you wait a year. A year from now your relationship could be stronger, and maybe then he would be ready.

For your relationship its best to talk about things and be on the same page. If you still really want to have a baby, then maybe find an older guy who is also ready for a baby.

Good luck with it all, and try not to rush to fast.

bigman34

replied on February 14th, 2009

New User

I don't understand the desire to be a parent at all. But maybe it's because I am selfish. That being said, you wanting this so bad that you stop taking the pill behind your bf's back means you are being pretty selfish too. Wait atleast a year because who knows you may not WANT to be with this guy by then. But if you get pregnant and you find out you don't want to be with him, he can bounce easily and then you are stuck with a child or children all because you wanted this that bad. Maybe if you marry him, you can atleast hold him responsible for the child. And maybe by then, he'll be ready. Could be sooner then you expect.

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