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waiting and meanwhile fighting the desire..

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men hate me because im pretty
Feel Shattered, annoyed and want to give...
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May 15th, 2012
okay first of all, I am not comparing my life with anyone's.

I am 24 years of age (and 6 months).........sane and sober....!!
I am fun ( as per my friends...) and can look real good if i ditch my tomboyish ways!!

Physically saying I am taller than the average girls around me............n though i dont consider that i have a beautiful face but yes i have a really fit body..........tagged as sexy by my male and female friends alike.........

It'd be entirely wrong if i say that guys dont show interest in me........some has really liked me .......but some ....well they flirt like hell.............show fake interest in my life...........one proposed me just after 2 mnths of friendship.........i turned him down as we barely knew each other........!!

But i was never in a relationship.................as i was very studious in my teens.......and very tomboyish in my college years...!! Guys liked talking to me cause i was pretty open and happy to talk to type..!! but i wasnt a fit as per the calssical gf material.......!!

Mentally i like to think alt and i prefer to live my life on some principles.............one has to be morally good to be in my life........!!

now the thing is ....... over the past 2 year.......out of 4 of my closest friends (all are girls) ...... 2 have got married (one arranged marriage and one love marriage) one got engaged.........one (not a virgin anymore) got a bf.................
Usually I m very balanced and logical but this thought that my body is ready to have sex is not leaving my mind..........!!! It may sound horny to some ..but I am like really ready..!!
But i am soooooooooooo choosy......even when it comes to the people i wantto talk to .... and i dont wanna sleep around with just anyone.....so talking the fairy tale way: the guy i want will take time to come in my life ............or he might never come.......... !!

I cant sleep at nights...........esp when my friends are talking to each other how wonderful it is to make love ....!!
They suggest that i should start looking for someone to get involved romantically...like a friend on whom i have a crush since childhood......!!! Well days are there when i see him and i can really feel the need but that will be too selfish..! I dont want to go in a relationship just to satisfy myself sexually.

It is affecting my studies ..my job.....i cant concerntrate....i fear i will go desparate!! and i dont wana try / do / take up any stupid habit!!!!!
No hobbies are helping....... no articles are beneficial..........
Studies.........work........i can manage everthign........but i have never felt this helpless .........i cant suppress this desire!! Help!!
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verne01
replied May 28th, 2012
Extremely eHealthy
Brain or willpower doesn't often overcome the strange machinations of mother nature and it sounds like you are fighting a losing battle!

I applaud your waiting for the right guy to come along but there is a couple of flaws in your plan -

first, most successful relationships usually begin with freindship that grows into mutual respect that grows into something more: usually this is sex which develops into love, though can sometimes be the other way around...
A successful relationship is 50% sex and 50% sense of humour! You are severely disadvantaged in the relationship stakes because you have no sexual experience and therefore no base for any good or bad criticisms about your future experiences if the "right" man should come along which can mean a slowly growing disatisfaction and a lot of wasted years before discovering he wasn't the man for you after all!

The other potential problem is the strong possibility you will suffer a weak or unguarded moment and lose it to a most unsuitable fellow and have to go through months of self-recriminations!

You are fighting nature, don't forget...
Another danger is being driven by your hormones into a completely unsuitable match - an infatuation for someone you don't like and don't respect...

There is nothing wrong with doing a little dating and getting physically close - and then discussing whatever comes up, as they say! You can get some sexual experience (and satisfaction) without actually indulging in intercourse - begin slowly and see how you feel on the day - while you are still sane enough to choose the man, the venue and the ground rules...

A much older man might be the best choice for you because he is better equipped to go at your speed and is likely to be less selfish and a better teacher...

Losing it and gaining experience doesn't mean being less than virginal with any other partner or when the right man does arrive - a certain feigned shyness is often a very good thing.

If you are determined to hang on to your virtue I can only suggest lots of cold showers and avoid men, because the longer you wait, the more difficult it will be to resist mother nature who will eventually make even horrible men attractive to you...
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