Take her word for it..You both had pain--you I don't understand having pain other than you did not take the time to help her become lubricated enough..If that is the case shame on you..If you don't know about making love then please read up on it..There is no reason to start a new life with someone and have her dread the times you are together..She hopefully will be able to give you children (if) that is what you both want but at least help her want to do that in all ways-which includes the bedroom..

my first time i did not bleed. i m assuming your not from america, b/c that isnt such a big deal to us.
you can tell if she is a virgin by her actions. she should seem inexperienced.
for example when i first had sex i didnt know what to do. and now i know what to do.

You can never be 100% sure, in a medical sense, whether a woman is virgin or not unless she admits it to you. The only way you can get an idea is by looking at how she reacts, she will not be very confident as ServiceU says but then again it's not as good as a mathematical certainty. The hymen could be broken for other reasons as well apart from she already having a sexual relation before you. The bottom line is that, you can't be sure your wife isn't a virgin simply because she did not bleed. You can reach very close to knowing it but it's as good as a graph that approaches the asymptote line that but never quite reaches it! Oops!...............I am getting diverted to geometry and mathematics! Sorry for that!

It sounds like you need to educate yourself? Trust your wife! The fact that you question trust issues within a few days?................This should be a time where you are exploring each other and intimately bonding. I would concentrate more on that.