Im an 18 year old male with some big
worries. I'm still a virgin and just
cannot seem to be able to go that final
step.
The first time I experienced this problem
was when I was 17, I got really really
drunk and ended up with a girl in bed. I
couldnt get hard at all and blamed it on
the alcohol. The second time I was with my
girlfriend about a year ago and drunk
again and had the same problem. This time
I was pretty annoyed about it as it had
happened twice now, I knew it was just
nerves.
Then months later I was with my
girlfriend all alone and things were going
great, we were both sober and I managed to
get hard. But she is also a virgin and
when I tried to penetrate she said it was
very painful, so I stopped.
We left it for a little while, and a
couple of months ago we celebrated 1 year
together. However very recently we tried
again to have sex. I took my time and
spent about 30-45 minutes on foreplay. I
didnt feel as nervous as I used to be. I
was all ready and so was she. I put the
condom on and began penetrating but found
it quite difficult getting in, I was
fumbling a bit. She was very aroused so
that wasnt the problem, but then my penis
starting going soft again. After a few
attempts I got an erection and tried to
penetrate again, I got a little way in
then went soft again. We gave up
eventually and now I dont know what to
do.
I really want to try again but at the
same time dont want to keep doing the same
thing. My girlfriend says not to worry
about it, she is understanding but also
quite nervous too. I have read a lot on
the internet about this type of thing but
would like some specific help. I went to
my doctor after the second time and he
said it was psychological. Can anyone give
me advice on how to overcome this? Any
help would be greatly appreciated. I know
I have to just relax and stuff but I didnt
feel particularly nervous this last time.
Thanks.
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worrywart01
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 May 2008 Posts: 573 Location: ,
Thanks: 51
Thanked:6
Posted: 05-22-08 01:13am
all i can say is dont drink alcohol, that
makes it much harder to get/stay hard
because it makes you less sensitive so any
sort of stimulation she gives you to help
out isn't gonna do much, maybe you should
try a thinner condom? is it that the
condom is too think so you aren't feeling
much? also if you keep having problems
there are rings out there that you can buy
and you put it on the shaft and it keeps
the blood in the penis which keeps your
erection, but...i dont know how
comfortable/uncomfortable those
are...also, maybe you should ask her for
alittle help if you start goin soft..so it
sorta takes the pressure off of you
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Pacman
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 May 2008 Posts: 2
Posted: 05-23-08 06:15am
Thanks for the advice. I think the condom
is too thick yeah, I cant remember exactly
but I think I bought Durex extra safe. I
will go for thinner ones and try that out.
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tryin23
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 May 2008 Posts: 3
Posted: 05-28-08 16:30pm
i am going through a similar problem.
only difference is my dick only seems to
do this with girls i care about. i'll be
23 in less than a month, i'm not a virgin,
though i don't claim much experience. up
until my last girlfriend i had sex with 3
others, but they weren't anything more
than a fun night. everyhting went off
without a hitch. i met my old girlfriend
and we tried to have sex about 3 weeks
into the relationship and i got going,
getting it up is never a problem for me,
but when the time comes to make use of my
penis, i couldn't. it was after a party
and i blamed the alcohol. so we tried the
next night with the same result. we
didn't last much longer after that. but
then, at another party, i got a blow job
from what i'm ashamed to say was an ugly
fat chick. but my dick worked no problem,
note that i was incredibly drunk as well.
that was the last action i got before i
met the girl i'm with now and have been
for the past 7 months, we've tried 3
times, each time ends with the same
result. i don't know the problem. i get
hard as a rock from her so much as
touching me sometimes like on the couch or
something, but then it's like the closer i
get to intercourse, the softer i get. i
have tried to shorten up foreplay to help
but so far no luck. the second time i got
close, but didn't get in on the first try
and then i immediately went soft. PLEASE
HELP
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tryin23
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 May 2008 Posts: 3
Posted: 05-28-08 16:37pm
i should add that everytime we've tried we
were sober. and i say three times because
those are the times when intercourse was
def supposed to happen. other times i
played it off because i could feel myself
limp and opted out by just making her
orgasm by giving her oral. this is
killing me and i'm scared if it continues
i might eventually lose her. i talked
about it and she promised she will see me
through this so that's comforting, but i
know it hurts her and she is convinced
that it's her fault
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marvel
Supporter
Joined: 09 Sep 2007 Posts: 1099 Location: Toronto, Ontario (but only a private message away)
Thanks: 50
Thanked:8
Posted: 05-29-08 11:48am
It's total performance anxiety. Talk about
it thoroughly... make sure you trust each
other so there's nothing to worry about.
She has said that she'll keep trying with
you, right? You have nothing to worry
about.. just make sure you both really
trust each other before it happens!
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tryin23
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 May 2008 Posts: 3
Posted: 06-01-08 14:14pm
so yesterday afternoon me and my girl
finally got it done! i am so relieved,
but i think this may still be a problem,
but i'm def coming out of it. umm pacman,
what worked for me was having her perform
oral but making sure i could see it,
instead of with the lights off or
something. the visual was just too much
and i was up in a sec. goodluck!
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Nino Lento
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Sep 2008 Posts: 1
Posted: 09-05-08 11:14am
Yoooo, I know what you guys are going
through, I'm 16 about to be 17 in a week,
and throughout the past 5 years I've
always been sexually active, and I get
hard from anything, but for some reason,
When I'm with a girl I really like or a
girl I'm dating, and we take a step
forward to having sex, I'm rock hard
during foreplay, but when it's time to put
it in, I get soft, and it usually always
happens, except this one girl I dated It
happened at first, but after more
attempts, I got accustomed to her and we
were able to have sex, but I really don't
know what the problem is cause alone, at
home, watching porn or something, I get
ROCK hard, but when with a girl i like or
dating.....when it comes time for sex I
get softer.
