Vicodin Addict: I feel so guilty.

Hi everybody. I just joined this site because I'm looking for support. I'm addicted to vicodin. It has messed up almost all facets of my life. I'm behind on my rent as a result of my addiction and I've wasted so much money and have nothing to show for it. I feel so guilty.

The hardest part is that nobody in my family knows about my addiction. I hide it very well. I only take about 8 pills a day of the 10/325 norcos, but I can feel the physical effects of the pills. Vicodin has always made me think clearer. They do not make me tired. From the very first day I took vicodin, my job performance improved, I was acing all my tests in college, and I was able to relax and socialize better with people. I suffer from major social anxiety and vicodin takes away the anxiety. I know that if I keep this behavior up, the vicodin will kill me.

Does anybody have experience with this? I think that my addiction is unique because other than financially and physically, vicodin has improved all other aspects of my life. I know how ridiculous that seems, but it's the truth. I really want to quit these things, but I know that when I do, it's going to be really hard on me mentally and I'm really scared.