I have no friends, and have absolutely no one to talk to, but, on occasion, my father. I have also created two imaginary friends in which I consult to all the time, from waking up to going to sleep I constantly talk to them. I come to this to wonder if anyone could give me some insight as to why this may be. Ever since I was young I have never been a talker, I never really learned to talk till I was three my mother told me. As I went through elementary school I made so little friends my parents were worried as to why I would never want others to come play with me. Growing up in elementary school I had no one to talk to, hardly ever got invited to parties, I think I recall two I was ever invited to, and I never talked to kids during recess because while they liked to play sports I liked to play games like, don't step on the lava, or exploring. In the fourth grade I recreated myself to get more friends, changing everything I was and reinventing myself, resisting everything and becoming something I hated to try to make friends. But it was very unsuccessful as when I entered High school I no longer wanted to go over to friends houses. I found that recreating myself did not work as I was bored as hell playing sports or going to swim or bike rides, I couldn't stand it any more. In high school I lost every friend I had after one day. I got so sick of being who I was not so I decided to go back to what I liked to do, after that I did not make another friend for three years. No one seems to understand me, nothing I say makes sense to a lot of people, and some people find my life ideas cool, or ignorant and immature. The only one I have been able to talk to is my father, and we disagree on so much. My mother doesn't care about anything that I do, I was never close to my sisters and when ever I try to talk to kids at school they look at me like I am speaking some archaic language then obviously try to distance themselves from me either from discomfort or fear. You can, see it in their eyes. There is nothing to fear, I am probably the most passive person they would ever meet even timid to kill flies in my room but something gives people a feeling of discomfort around me that is palpable... The only grandmother that understood me passed away, that was the only family member outside the inner blood ring that actually listened and understood what I was saying, the rest of my family looks at me like a loon in a straight jacket. Perhaps three years of talking to no one but myself has made it hard to talk to others, lack of practice maybe. But then no one is interested in what I do, I like to spend my time reading stuff like calculus, and basic circuit theory to answer questions and to do things like build robots and programs. Boring to my old friends, but a few find it interesting. But I also like to draw and make up stories, maybe even too much which makes those previous people like me lose interest when I bring up poems. I like to think about things, last week I spent hours thinking on how the human brain may work. But I tried to tell a few people about it and no one really gave a damn. The only one who was at all interested was my father but then he wanted to stop thinking about it after 20 minutes, so then what. I am off to la-la land again all by myself and get yelled at for not doing school work. I hate school, I never understand what the teachers were saying, I had to read what the book said to make sense out of the subject and hated doing the school work. I loved to read and learn everything but whenever the teacher assigned the classwork I just shut down. Even when I take ALL distractions away, everything away, I cant focus on the damn classwork, I'll sit there looking at the walls when everything is gone but the school work thinking of other things. It is very frustrating, when ever I get very inspired I just go work on the robots and art because I feel that is my strength. I have only ever gotten along with adults in my youth and now adults seems to be looking at me like I am some sort of freak. I dont talk publicly to my imaginary friends, so why can no one understand anything I do or why I do it. It is just something that has bothered me. I made up ideas to help things in labs thinking that maybe that would help me get closer to others, but the kids reacted by either giving me all the work or saying that my idea was stupid as hell and go off and do it their own way, I am not a very aggressive person so, I let them go ahead like a door mat. One lab was to take a cube of this Jello like substance and put it into a liquid, the challenge was to make the cube take in the most liquid in the shortest time, they said my idea was stupid I knew it would work though. They went off making all these shapes but I just poked holes into the cube. Mine absorbed everything the fastest. But they weren't impressed they just shunned me off, one of the only times I ever stood up for myself and no one gave a damn. Even on the computer I can't make friends, they think I am boring, annoying, or stupid. I get bored with the game, I could never play games for very long maybe a week and then I am done, unless I can change things and bend the rules a bit ._. , but I cant find anyone who likes to join games just to try new fun tactics or screw around. I think I found one and that person doesn't come on anymore. Why am I so socially inept? Am I hard to understand, am I pretentious, do I talk to much, or am I just plain boring. In reality I just want a few people I can talk to, I hate doing parties and going out, just nice to know someone is interested in what you do for a change and willing to help. It is very depressing to have no one.