Hi there folks...first time poster here. It seems over the past couple months I've just been really angry with everything. Most recently my dad retired from work and seems to be coming over my house A LOT...its to the point where when I come home from work and see his car there it puts me into a bad mood. Or the weekend, where I cherish my alone time after a hell work week..he'll come over on Sat AND Sunday and right away I'll be in a bad mood. I LOVE him to death and he does so much for me but its just too much and I can't tell him I need time to myself cuz I'll feel bad for all that he's been doing at my house. I guess he's bored being home.
Same with phone calls...i don't want to talk to anyone really and I just really enjoy being by myself. If someone calls I usually don't even pick up. If my sis or dad calls and I pick up, I just sound cranky and then we get off...and if my sis calls back in 15-20 mins for something I yell out "what the french do you want now?". I love them all but I just can't understand why I'm getting angry.
I recently gave up on dating also because the last few relationships just failed. Last 3 women all took pills for depression and anxiety. Now I'm wondering if I need something? I have no desire to meet new women right now because I don't feel like going through the whole dating game bs. Plus I've gained a few lbs, I quit smoking which caused "quit zits" and I just feel "ugly" now so I don't even want to meet anyone...all the while my brother is talking up a storm with multiple women..whichi ends up annoying me when all I see him doing is texting on his phone every single second. It's to the point where the way he chews gum or hearing him breath through his nose ReALLY annoys me if we drive to work together. But I sound like a moron if I say something about it.
Work is the same...if a program I'm working in crashes on me, I'm yelling and cursing at my computer and want to throw it out the window. And my co-workers can hear me but they know how I am.
I don't feel "alone" or "lonely"...i just REALLY enjoy being by myself and don't want anyone bothering me. Is there something wrong with that?
Thanks for taking the time to write in a to describe your situation. With what little information there is here I am guessing that you are the "go to" person in your family (and maybe your friends). That is, they "know" you'll be there for them no matter what. And unfortunately that sounds like it has lead to family taking advantage of you. Of course just quitting smoking is likely contributing to your "crankiness" as most smokers use smoking to "relax and unwind." What do you do now? If what you'd prefer to do is to simply have alone time then it sounds as if you'll need to set up some rules/boundaries/whatever with your family. This is not particularly easy to do. However, if you are able to explain to your father, for example, that you need time alone to unwind and just "be." He ought to be able to understand that since he himself worked for many years! If he's bored an looking for something to do...it is not your job to be his entertainer. You can let him know that while you appreciate all that he does for you around your house, it does not all need to be done by him or all at once. You know your father better that I of course, so you're in a better place to predict how he might respond to that kind of limit setting. He may be hurt/angry or take it just fine. Either way you'll need to be prepared for a myriad reactions. If you find that you cannot manage your relationships with your family the way you need to I'd highy recommend consulting with a liencensed mental health professional who may be able to help you problem solve these situations.
You may have a cancer of the amygdala ablamgata it is responsible for your emotions and it may change your behavior, if you have good insurance get a CT scan, if not then try St. John's wort it's an herb that helps with depression and anxiety.
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