Recently, my best friend passed away, my grandmother passed away, and I am going through a divorce and I'm only 22. On top of all this my mother passed away when I was 10. My sister has also left to go to college and we are very close. I feel very alone and helpless right now. I met with my husband to go over divorce paper in hope that he would forgive me for all that had gone wrong but he was acting like he hated me. I would like to be friends with him but he acts as if I don't exist and it's very painful. I don't know what to do anymore and since my mother passed when I was 10, everyone around me pretends like I don't exist. What hurts the most is that my husband and I were very close when we split. I cry everyday and listen to nothing but depressing music just so I can reminiscence about the memories of when I was young. I have a boyfriend and he tries to help me through it but it doesn't seem to help. The relationship I was in with my husband felt like the world revolved around us and us alone and I have never felt this way before. I just need some answers. Thank you.
The things happening to you are so momentously tragic, I must say... Compared to you, the things I've gone through aren't as grand in my head. Still, I learned from those things and I'm stronger mentally than I ever was before, if a bit shaky around the edges.
Your husband seems to be angry at the fact that you are separating, and is trying to make it less painful by pretending you were never part of his life in the first place. You also must realize that death happens, and it happens for a reason. Are you religious? If so, then God (or whomever governs our world) took them from you for a reason... Everything that happens around us is an experience to learn from, and not to anguish over.
I think your new boyfriend cannot help because you're still stuck with your husband, about trying to stay close to him, even after this... If your husband cannot let go of his anger and let you two be friends, then I feel you must let go of him and let life move on once more.
I've never done this sort of thing before, so... I help this helps.
Thank you that was helpful to me. I joined this forum to try to connect with people in similar situations and I also like to help people with their problems. I don't know if my pain will ever start to heal, but I want to thank you for the kind words.
I found this place trying to help and to connect to others, as well. I guess that makes me selfish for the latter, but eh... I'm trying to live a good life, I can afford some selfishness in my free time.
One day, I want to be in a relationship with someone where I felt as though the world revolved around us... But alas, that is not to be, for that is much too selfish of me. I learned that the hard way when I was in a relationship close to that.. The world gets hit by a meteor when your other proclaims her love for another... (*frown*) Anyways, I suppose I'm just opening up on here because this place is designed to help.
You need to find your own happiness, without the help of other people... I try to do that, and I think I'm successful. I read a book on that.
Dependant: You rely on one or more people for happiness and to take care of your needs, whether they be emotional or physical. (Lowest Mentality Stage)
Independant: You can rely on yourself for physical and emotional stability, but the loss of a close one doesn't effect you because you have little to no support.. (Middle Mentality)
Interdependant: You reach a stage of happiness beyond which you could have attained by yourself, by bonding with others; You do things with others you could not do yourself, as well as not having your world crash down totally if you lose them(Highest Mentality)
I strive for Interdependance. I'd like for you to try, too. Grieve for your losses, but don't be consumed by them; You cannot replace your loved ones, but you CAN fill the hole they leave behind; Whether by bonding with new people, or letting it fill up with the passage of time.