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verbally abusive when drunk, its not a new problem.

I have been married for just over 3 years, I am 22 and my husband is 30. We are 6 months pregnant with our first baby girl and so excited. My husband has a problem with alcohol, its not a new problem. He drinks almost every night and gets completely wasted every second night, recently it has gotten worse.
He is verbally abusive when drunk, a couple of nights ago he drank a bottle of wine and it went straight to his head. He went to bed and about 1/2 an hour later woke up to go to the toilet, I woke also. He stood up and walked over to the bedroom wall and started relieving himself, I yelled and said 'what are you doing thats not the toilet' he looked around and then walked into the bathroom and finished relieving himself. I was very shocked, this had never happened before. When he came back into the room I asked him to clean it up, he told me to get , I said that I wouldnt be cleaning it, he said that I was to clean it up and if I kept pushing him I would regret it. I left the room and slept on the couch.
When he awoke in the morning he 'didn't remember' which is usually the case. He argued with me saying that I made it up and didnt believe me until I showed him the urine soaked clothes. He told me NEVER to mention it again.

Tonight he went to the pub after work, I called in on my way home to see how he was going and one of my friends was there so I stayed and chatted to her for a while. When I was ready to go home I told my husband (by this time he was really drunk)and he pulled me outside, started calling me a stupid b**ch and saying that everyone thought I was stupid for making a scene. I got in the car and he got in as well. He said that I had to go to the store to buy him some smokes, I said ok (I always try really hard to not make him upset, he can be very aggressive). He started saying that I was dumb and mentally impaired. I asked him which shop he wanted me to go to and he didnt even know what I was talking about, which made him more frustrated. I got to the shop and he wouldnt get out to get his smokes, he kept saying that I was going to be arrested for being so stupid, he was so drunk that he wasnt making sense. I drove home and he passed out before we got there. When we arrived I woke him up but he wouldnt get out of the car so I left him there, he came inside about 10 minutes later and said that I was a dumb sl*t for leaving him there and to stay out of his way or else.

He is not like this when he is sober, he is amazingly wonderful, but as soon as he drinks he turns into a monster, I am 6 months pregnant and I dont want my child to be around him when he is drinking, I just dont want him to drink anymore. I am scared and tired of being put down and having to look after him. How can I fix this, what can I do?
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replied December 8th, 2011
Community Volunteer
Hello verabally abusive,

Your husband is a very sick man. If you have a video camera I want you to video him when he isn't looking save them. I also want you to tape record him when he is drunk, the nasty things he says to you and about you. These things has to be done when he isn't aware of it so he won't hurt you. I strongly suggest you start saving some money secrectly and start preparing to leave him. I would suggest you not have the baby around him, if he doesn't remember relieving himself againist the wall, mistaking it for the toilet, he may not remember hurting you or your child. This man is putting you under alot of stress and this could have a profound affect on your health and that of your unborn child. The next time he gets that drunk, just call the police to come and take him to jail and tell them you fear for the safety of your life and that of your child. Oh and have your friends to record what they see and hear of him abusing you. All of this you will need as proof when you file for divorce, which you certainly need to do....this guy is a ticking time bomb please get out and don't go back until he admits he has a problem and go to AAA to get help.

Good Luck,

Faded Rose
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