I dated my boyfriend for five years. He was everything to me. He was my first love, my first encounter with sex, my first everything. We moved in together in September and everything seemed perfect. After five months of being constantly together and having money issues, we became less close although we tried to salvage our relationship through going out to dinners and movies together. A huge part of the fighting was due to the fact that I had changed my life and job to move to where he was. Suddenly and randomly, during a work function in Las Vegas, I fell for a co-worker and we randomly went to the courthouse and got married (all while I was with my boyfriend). Now, after ruining my first relationship, I still am in love with my now ex-boyfriend. He is all I think about and is contacting me to meet up again. I don't know what to do with everything as I want to go back to my ex, but I know that things will never be the same. I also don't want to break my now husband's heart as he's a truly perfect guy. I don't know what to do