I recently got married and my Husband and I kept our virginity until our wedding night. We tore my hymen and I thought it was complete. There was significant pain followed by a lot of blood, so I figured that was it. But we have tried to have sex since and each time I experience pain accompanied by (bloody) spotting at the vaginal opening. I got out my trusty mirror and I don't recognize anything down there. I'm fairly certain I had a septate hymen, though not confirmed by a Gynecologist. But the vaginal opening looks rather damaged now (I know that's kinda a given but it looks like it exploded). I am a smaller build (5'5", 125 lbs) and he is quite tall (6'5", 245 lbs). I assume that his stature means he's "well endowed" but the only other penises I have seen were in Anatomy textbooks.
We were told to make sure that I am properly stimulated and "in the mood" and also to use lubricant. These have not helped. I am still tight and once I feel the pain I'm no longer relaxed and the mood quickly dies.
I currently don't have health insurance so I can't afford a visit to a Doctor. I would appreciate any help.
Question #1- Is it possible my Hymen did not fully break?
Question #2- Is my Hymen continuing to tear and re-heal?
Should we wait to have sex again and how long?
Question #3- Are our sizes just not compatible?
Question #4- Do I need to have a Gynecologist snip any remaining hymen to ease our efforts?
have you tried using your fingers? What does it feel like to you or him?
maybe this could give you more information as to what is causing you to "not" become accustomed to his size. After the initial break of the hymen sex shoule have been easier for you and him. At least without bleeding and pain. You may still experience some tightness the 1st couple time but not after that????
I wish I could help more.
Sometime some women go through what they call "the second virginity", where the hymen is torn, but the vagina still so tight that it may tear a little and bleed slightly. Picture this: You're having a baby and your vagina isn't big enough for the head, and it can't stretch anymore....what's it going to do? It's going to TEAR. So, if you're trying to get your husbands well endowed package in your tiny space (and believe me, even if he is small, if you've never done anything, he may as well be the biggest in the world, because your vagina doesn't know the difference), you're gonna tear, which creates pain and bleeding, accompanied by soreness.
So, here we go:
Answer to #1: Your hymen broke and is gone, unless you're SUPER VIRGIN!
Answer to #2: Again, hymen gone. As far as if you should wait, yes! How long....until you have a plan on how to stretch you in intervals you can handle....fingering, licking, small toying or what have you. Just try something smaller than his penis, but bigger than the opening you have now.
Answer to #3: Have you ever watched porn? (Guessing "no" since you waited until marriage to have sex) I'm not a pervert, but I have seen porn where a big black guy was screwing a little Asian woman. My guess: No size isn't compatible if you work towards the prize.
Answer to #4: You have no hymen, so that'd be the last thing you need to go to the gyno for.
Tell you what, go online, or into a Hastings (if you have one) or a dirty adult book store (if you have one) or yet again....ONLINE, and find out some tricks of the trade for getting your grove on, with out the penis. You guys could try 69ing (you blow him, he eats you) then when you're so lubed from him exciting you that way, try sticking it in a little (but CAUTION: Blow him will increase blood flow, ultimately making him a little harder, thus a little bigger, than the big penis you had trouble with before).
I am not teasing you in any way, or trying to make you feel bad about yourself, I just know a little about sex, because I've been enjoying it since 14 (but with the man that is now my husband, so that's not so bad, huh?). I hope you guys can get past you being so small, but once he gets it in and starts getting you stretched a little, sex will be so awesome for you that you prpobably won't wanna stop (around here, we call it "nympho of discovery").
Good luck with your sex life. If you can just get past the hard part (ha ha, that was kind of a joke) you will enjoy the benefits of sweet, sweet success.
Hi, I have the same problem. I have only slept with a couple of people and never had a regular sexual relationship. I recently had sex and felt the soreness afterwards that I usually feel and had a look at what was going on down there. Woah I wish I hadnt! It was all kind of torn at the bottom of my vagina. Now, I know my hymen was gone because I have had sex before but I went to the doctor cos I was worried. She said I just hadnt had enough regular sex to make the hymen completely break away and heal up. If you keep having sex it will go - honestly. And as long as it is only sore in that area afterwards (and not pain or bleeding during the sex itself) you don't have anything to worry about. Hope that helps!
hey there...guys last to last night ( i.e saturday )i had sex wid my bf for the first time.....he says he didnt penetrate deep enuff as it was my first time...we enjoyed it though i was nervous.....but since sunday late night i noticed some bleeding..it started when i went for urinating....i tot my periods but soon i realized it wasnt....i had a look in da mirror and noticed the small bleeding was from a tear very minor like a cut on a finger near the fourchette( do i need to go to a doctor for this or is it normal) though the fourchette doesnt bleed tat much..itz kinda stopped...but nw i just saw blood brownish something thorugh my vagina.....itz nt tatmuch..but m scared....plz help meeeeeeeeeeeeeee
i am getting married very soon .i had put my fingers inside my vagina and bleed.I told my fianncee this .nw he thinks that i had sex earlier.but i never had .he is waiting for me to bleed .will i bleed or not .plz ans
i have had sex before but i been having sex with my boyfriend now...and all of a sudden i started to bleed..this is my first time ever bleeding and when i pee it kinda hurts in one area of my vagina..could something have been ripped? or would i need to see a doctor? i admit he was pretty rough but i'm a little nervous about this.and i only bled that night no more bleeding has occurred. Should i wait to have sex again? and for how long? any advice would help thanks!
Hi, I just thought I'd share some of my Journey with you all.
After years of pain during examinations (pap smears, virginal
Ultrasound and a lot of infertility tests) My fertility specialist Says
That I have fully intact hymen and have not teared at all. He
Said some women have a very thick hymen and it is impossible
to break during intercourse and requires surgery I had this
Performed yesterday and am not in as much pain as I expected.
I have. Even married for five years and has regular sex with my
Husband, so glad we have found the answers. Hope this helps
i have had sex an i didnt bleed idk if its normal im scared an when i pee it burn an pain alot all over my body pain but my bf was not rough with me an he didnt go deep in cause it was both of us first time but im scared how im feeling a burn when i pee
Ok so I know my first time I definitely broke my hymen but even on our fifth time having sex I still am kind of bleeding. And like we do use lubricant so if its not that then why??!! And is there a way to stop it??
hey i had sex with my bf on monday and i started bleeding. It almost stopped on wednesday but today on thursday i've done some usual house work and it started bleeding like first day.Any body please help. What should i do
Well let me start from the beginning. The first time I fingered my, I kinda bled a little but that was it...Couple of years after that when I was participating in some sport, I bled again, and this time it lasted for 2-3 days,in small and large proportion. Again 2 yrs hence, I was exercising again and this time I bled too. I finger myself and reach orgasms,almost frequently, but it doesn't lead me to any bleeding, then why exercising? I even consulted a doctor, she gave me some tests to do. The outcome was that I had a little amount of vaginal infection and prescribed some ointments to apply. I used and now there is no bleeding so far. However, my worry is something else. Recently,I was on bed with my Fiance. We were enjoying and he tried to go inside me. But, at that point of time, I felt my vagina so tight for him to enter. Rubbing was fine but when he pushed his tip inside, it burnt and pained a lot. I was feeling so sorry to have disappointed him.
However, we are getting married in 7 months and the thing that keeps me worried is my HOLE. Was the pain because of hymen(which I suppose has been broken so far) or am I incompetent. I have heard of women having sealed holes, is this the case so? How do I open up to him? P.S.And also, I didn't lubricate sufficiently much, can that too be a case? If so, how am I supposed to get over. PLEASE HELP!