usually try to eat only like 500 cal. am i turning anorexic?

Im 17 and i feel like i might be getting some kind of eating disorder..
for months i have been restricting my calories,and ive lost a bunch of weight,well thats what everyone says..i have no idea how much i weigh

i usually try to eat only like 500 calories a day

but sometimes i eat less then 500 calories
im so obsessed with counting calories..
and im also very obsessed with what i eat,the only things i dont feel guilty eating are like fruits/vegetables..
or stuff i know is healthy and very low in calories

i feel guilty if i eat anything else..
id feel guilty if i even ate a slice of bread because i hear all about how bread is bad and is full of carbs or something..

i never throw up or go without eating(wlell i did for a few days before i started restricting calories like this)
i feel like i could never do those things,
but..i still feel like im just getting too obsessed with counting calories and obviously im not eating enough calories

i feel like if i can just get to like 120-30 lbs then it will all stop and ill be fine
or if i could run on a treadmill everyday,then i could maybe allow myself to eat more,i dont like running around in public..i wish i could join a gym or something,i would workout everyday and burn every calorie..

but since i cant,i wont let myself eat any more then 500 calories
even eating 500 calories sometimes makes me feel like crap!
i just feel like something is seriously wrong with my mind,
like i feel like nobody would ever like me because im chubby/overweight..
i havent even weighed myself since i started this,so i dont even know how much weight ive lost,i started in december or something

today i only ate around 200-230 calories because there was nothing healthy in the house because we needed to go shopping

i want to be healthy and eat healthy and exercise!



sorry this is long and weird im kind of having troubles explaining myself