I've noticed you have alot of posts concerning fmaily and depression. Maybe all of these things are linked together by something going on in your life or form your past.
You should consider finding someone to talk to properly. And I don't mean a psychologis cus hell I know more than some of them, I just mean spekaing to one person in private about all your problems instead of throwing them out seperatly and radomly. Ya need some stability support wise.
But thena gain its always possible im wrong, but just throwing it out there, hope it helps. (MCR are awesome btw XD)