As a transgender, I have not had much of a love life, no boyfriends, only men that I wish I could have. Some of you may have read my post, "One Girl Revolution" and know that I have a special someone with whom I am deeply and, tragically, in love. I have never expressed my feelings to this person and I don't know if I ever will. Now, don't get me wrong, everyone I have encountered says that I am one of the most passable women they have ever seen. I have a female's voice, stature, and, so, transitioning, I think, won't be as difficult, for me, as most. However, even with these advantages, I'm afraid that he may never see me as a woman. I'm afraid that he'll never love me in the way that I love him.

Some of you might reccomend that I ask him personally, but I don't know if I can face the possible rejection. I know that this is probably unhealthy, but I have loved him since the moment I saw him. In any case, I think the most profound love is one in which a person is willing to let the other go. I truly believe that in letting him go, I am loving him more. However, it's been very difficult to deal with this, but I maintain a steady hope in myself, a belief that I will get over him.

I really don't know why I'm writing this. Maybe it's because I just want people to know just to be able to cope with it. Anyway, I write alot of poetry, and, so I thought I'd share a poem that is still a work in progress...

Prisoner of LOVE
By Taylore Marie
I have loved you all this time.
Guilty of the most silent crime
I have given myself to you;
My heart sings a song so true
Of lovers that can never be
Of a captive, that you must set free

Some say love is a river, razor, or reed
The universal language, a human need
But is this really love?
A beautiful gift from up above?
Or is it something of a curse.
Mind’s suicide or something worse.

Your presence has destroyed my world
Killing my spirit, darknesss unfurled
But I can’t stop this love, even if I try
Always thinking of you, not a moment goes by.
But you, the man I must be free of,
Keep me at bay; I’m a prisoner of love

I want to hear your voice, or maybe give you a call
But, to be honest, my hope has grown so small
While thoughts of you consume my soul
I struggle to take back my life’s control.

Still, I can’t stop loving you
And oh how I wish you knew
The love I have is the strongest of all
To give you up, creating a wall
Saying goodbye, ending this now
As I solidify our secret vow.


I have written so many poems about him as they are one way in which I deal with it. ^.^

Love ya,
Taylore

PS: Always believe in yourself!
...If only I took my own advice lol