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uncontrollable crying spells and suicidal thoughts

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last night was by far, one of the worst nights i have had in a really long time. i was having some severe thoughts. by this i mean, i could not stop thinking about hurting myself, and what it would be like if i were dead. i had a plan and everything, and i got so upset that i reached out to a friend. we had been texting for a while, and then i just decided to call her. it was around 1 this morning. she told me about how i need to be back on medication (i havent been off of it in 8 years till now) and she told me that i needed to get help. i understand this, but at the same time, i know it may do more harm than good. i dont want all of my workers to think that i am a failure... again. its just that i am hurting so bad, and in my head right now, as crazy as it is, i would rather be dead than to go on living with the pain. i keep fighting with myself on whether to kill myself or not. i know that i shouldnt. but at the same time, i cant take this pain. it has become unbearable.
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replied September 12th, 2011
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What kind of pain are you having? Heartbreak? Nothing is worth killing yourself over..It might be ideal to get on something to help with any chemical imbalances that you may have. Do you have family that is supportive? What is hurting so bad that you would end your on life..Don't. Tell me about yourself..Also, have you tried speaking with a Psychiatrist? You really should speak to someone or see a doctor for help. Im here if you need someone to talk to. You may also send me a private message. I hope you are feeling better today..
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replied September 13th, 2011
You need Jesus. I have gone thru the same thing but prayer and reading the Bible is the only way to get through something like this. Church groups can help but only you can fix the pain thru Jesus Christ. God is the only one who can truly save you. Suicidal thoughts are just the devil trying to destroy you. I know because I've been there and ever since turning to God and getting my life on track I felt this huge weight lift of my shoulders and my heart fill with joy. It will take time but you just got to stay positive and when in doubt pray. Things could always be worse you just have to stay strong and fill your life with positive influences.
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replied September 19th, 2011
Experienced User
i ended up in the psychiatric hospital, after that last comment... now i am a little bit better, news meds and a new doctor
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replied September 19th, 2011
Lol are you blamin me? I am just telling you waht has helped me. Meds and doctors won't help you out of depression, in the end it usually just makes things worse.

I can pretty much guarantee what you are doing in your daily is contributing to your depression. Hanging out with the wrong people, getting high all the time, and putting your energy towards negative thins will always bring the same result. I had to let go of most of my friends because they were just bringing me down. Good friends are far and few between these days, and it will only get worse so the only thing you can do is stay strong and put your faith in God because he will never fail you. I know for a fact I wouldn't be here today if he wasn't looking out for me, and even tho it is a constant struggle I able to focus my energy on more productive things.
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replied September 19th, 2011
Experienced User
no, i meant, i ended up there after writng the topic, srry, i didnt mean for it to sound like that :/
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replied September 20th, 2011
well I misinterpreted sorry, and glad to hear you are feeling better.... most of us have been there some point in our life
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replied October 19th, 2011
Experienced User
its okay, and looking back, i can see how you misinterpretted what i said Smile
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replied November 1st, 2012
depressed
Does anyone else pray that the Mayan calender is for real and the world will end in December? I want to die, but, I can't kill myself. The world ending would be sooo helpful
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