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Uncomfortably Relaxed

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I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks, so my doctor said to do what I can to try to relax. Well, I was riding passenger while a friend of mine was driving - and his driving isn't great, so I was a little worried. I got to thinking about a couple things that have been bothering me - mostly death. Eventually, I just realized there is nothing I can do about my death (not that I was THAT worried about him crashing, I've been worrying about it a lot lately) and ever since I have become uncomfortably relaxed about everything (however, note its only been about 8 hours). I can't snap out of it, it's almost like I've just slept walked through the day - completely apathetic.

Even with this "relaxation", I still feel like I'm going to have a panic attack - along with some anxiety. On top of that, the whole day my heart was racing. I'm even scared to take my xanax, I feel like I did something crazy to my mind. I've been going through a lot for the last couple months when it comes to mental health, so I don't know if I'm over reacting or not. I'm fairly new to panic attacks.
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replied April 12th, 2011
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It's odd. First you are worried and then you are worried because you are not worried.
It sounds like my sister who is manic depressive. (No, I am not saying you are too.) Normally if she finds out that a friend's cousin's co- workers cat died she bawls uncontrollably. But once she got on medication that stabilized her mood swings, she felt like she was unfeeling and uncaring because she did not respond in the same way.
My point is that the fretting can be such a part of your life that being without it might seem as though you are uncaring. Is that a possibility? And is it possible that you need time to get used to feeling less anxious? Sometimes change, even beneficial change, can be scary and hard to adjust to.
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replied April 13th, 2011
First off, thanks for your reply. I really appreciate it.
It's the (chemical?) change that worries me. I can't think of a reason I should be able to change how I feel so drastically just by thinking. I might be able to attribute part of the change due to the season, I've been told sinuses can do crazy things.

When it comes to fretting, it's still very much so there. The fact I'm relaxed, but still feeling panic and everything worries me because they're such opposites.

On February 3rd I got my tonsils taken out since day 4 of recovering my life has completely flipped on me. I asked the doctor about why I'm getting panic attacks now and he said he didn't think it was related to the surgery. Nothing went wrong (that I was told of at least) during surgery, they found a hole in one tonsil, but they never called or talked about it during a follow-up, so I assume it wasn't anything to worry about.
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replied April 14th, 2011
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I'm not sure what to say. I am a little confused about how you can be both too relaxed and anxious at the same time. (I thought you were going back and forth between periods of anxiety and periods of relaxation and apathy.) But I don't think the clarification will help. This seems too advanced and complicated for my limited knowledge. Hopefully, someone else will be able to offer you more assistance.
Good luck.
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replied April 15th, 2011
I appreciate it.
For the last few days the anxious/panic feels have gone away. I'm feeling pretty good for the first time in quite a while - so maybe your initial thought of it just taking time to adjust is correct.
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