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unable to orgasm

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hi, i have never asked anyone this but is it normal to never have an orgasum? im a healthy married 31 yr old mother to 3, but have never been able to have an orgasum. not even thru masterbation or direct clit contact. sex does feel great but now my hubby thinks that its his fault ive never had the big o. we have tried everything but nothing works. i tried telling my hubby its not his fault so it must be mine? anyone here having this problem or is it just me? Sad
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replied April 1st, 2008
I never thought that I had ever had one, then finally it just happened. I still don't have one everytime I have sex.
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replied April 1st, 2008
Supporter
i have clitoris orgasms all the time. my fiance will take his time to make sure i have one. but don't be sadden. many women don't have orgasms. you're not the only one dear.
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replied April 1st, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
There is a vibrator on the market called the Eroscillator. It is highly acclaimed to be effective for helping women achieve orgasm that have difficulty doing so. Dr. Ruth Westheimer, sex therapist, has recommended this product and endorses it. The vibe can be used solo or with your husband. Men can also use it. It comes with several interchangeable heads for different sensations. Do a google search on this. Hope this helps.
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replied April 3rd, 2008
thank you, at least i can relax knowing im not the only one not have the big o. i will look into that vipe also.
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replied January 14th, 2009
Help
Hi me and my wife have been married for a couple months now and my wife seems to be having a problem with the big O as well. We are catholic so the first time we ever did anything was our wedding day(pretty much). I have tried everything I could find out but nothing seems to work and I know that I can do this for her I just don't know what to do. When we try I usually start off just trying to get her hot. So even before we do anything she is usually going out of her mind. Then I will massage her clitoris with my tongue sometimes using one finger to massage all around the area. This goes on for a while and she is always loving it or so she says but nothing ever happens and she always leaves really upset and not with me but with herself. All I want to do is make her feel as good as possible. I wouldn't even care if I got anything out of it. As long as she does that is all I need. She is pretty much up for anything if it will help and I will do whatever it takes. I don't have any issue with using foreign objects to get the job done as long as she enjoys every minute of it.

Any advise would be greatly appreciated. I just want to be a good husband and if that means sucking it up and asking for help then thats what I got to do. So please anything no matter how bazaar. I will try anything.

Thanks
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replied January 14th, 2009
Experienced User
All for her
Okay, she may have a mental block and don't even know it. Some people will convince themselves that their not going to get it anyways and slowly go into remission during sex. When you say "it goes on for a while" is it long enough? Personally, it has taken me anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour before I get mine orally, but he goes for it the entire time. That in itself is a turn on to me. Do you try foreplay before foreplay? What I mean by that is, women are more emotional than physical. Do you flirt with her? Smack her on the butt in passing sometimes. Kiss her on the back of the neck while shes washing dishes. Kiss he deeply when you come home from work and say "Man I needed that". Be creative, give her foreplay before foreplay. And please don't do all of this in the same day. She may think that you're guilty of something (lol). And definitely don't do the day you want to have sex. Thats because you don't want her to think that you were only being sensual because you want to get in her drawers. Doing those things before you leave home or before she leaves will give her something to think about when you are apart. Its only been a couple of months. You two are still in the phase of discovering one another. Do you both communicate openly about the issue shes having. Conversation is Foundation. During sex tell her to tell you what feels good and what doesn't. Watch her, and be attentive to her reactions, listen to her during sex. You should be able to tell from her body language and voice what she finds pleasing. As for foreign objects, I always suggest a vibrator for clitoral stimulation. I could go on and on about what to do and what not to do. But I don't want to take up the entire page. Hope this helps.
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replied July 20th, 2009
Is their a medical reason why some women can't orgasm?
I'm 28 and have never had the big O. I have had many different partners and now have been married for 5 years and have 2 kids. I have gotten to the point that I don't have a sex drive, but never turn my husband down. I think their is something wrong with my parts or somthing. Is their a medical reason that some women cant orgasm.
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replied August 27th, 2010
Unable to Orgasm
I am a 19 yr old female that has had quite a few partners since I've become sexually active. Most of them slightly older more experienced men. I have never had an orgasm and my current boyfriend is getting frustrated with my inability to achieve the big O. I dont understand whats wrong. I really like having sex with him but even foreplay is difficult. My clitoris is very sensitive to any kind of touching and i cant stand having a man play with it to try and get me to orgasm. I am unsure if it is a medical problem from when i was raped when I was younger or if there is something else wrong. Should I talk to my doctor?
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replied April 21st, 2013
Homosexuality?
I am 23 years old and came out as a lesbian at the age of 16 since then I had fallen in love with a girl, sent away by my parents for years, gotten engaged to her, broken up and am now finally back together with her after what seems like an eternity.. But, after we broke up I was raped by a classmate at my community college. In an effort to make my parents "happy" I stayed with him for awhile. From there I started sleeping around with other guys like maybe I'd find someone that I liked even as close to as much as this girl. I may not have ever been emotionally into sex with guys like I was with her, but it still felt good.
After awhile I just lost my ability to orgasm and I figured I just needed to get the emotional aspect back into it...but even with her again, I can't feel anything. She is afraid I'm not even attracted to her anymore and I'm afraid of where this will take our relationship.
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