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Typical Bipolar behaviour

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Im posting this to show an example of typical BP behaviour in a relationship.
People who have been following my saga, know that I have been in a relationship with a bp man , on and off for two years now.He left me again in May, I went abroad for three months to get over him (didnt) and while there , staying with my daughter, he wrote emails that varied from telling my daughter how much he likes me to telling her to hold me there because 'i find him in our city'. He also told me he had another woman, this very coldly over the phone. He said he wanted nothing to do with me. He wrote what a difference I have done in his life and that I deserve a honours condecoration and he thinks about me. He wrote he wanted to see me again (of course) and that he wanted to talk to me. All in the same month or so.
No wonder I got messed up and miserable again. I stopped contacting him , enough to make him email me to ask if am back and what time my flight was. When I got back he went on emailing me and phoned me 5 times, but he was using my old number, so I i only saw the missed calls. I was going to the cinema so I texted him to say hi, so he phoned me again when i was in the cinema. I texted him back telling him to phone later. The minute I got home he phoned me again, wanting to know who I was in the cinema with ( a friend) and if I had kissed him (no). He asked me if Im angry with him (no) and wants to see me and go for a pizza. now, all this for me is behaviour of someone who still has something for a girlfriend and is trying to date her again, however im dealing with BP here, so he added that we are going to see each other as friends for a start. Whatever. He also told me over the phone that he is not seeing anybody anymore, it was only a date because he was alone ( I was abroad).He said he will phone me.
The thing with BP is that we try to see the persons actions comparing with one knows of normality. This is a mistake, a huge mistake. All his behaviour towards me was not normal from the begining. Examples-

-Going all over me in the first day we met (really manic) , wanting to hold my hands, talking sex.
- second time I saw him , like another person, depressed, miserable, left me in the cafe and went.
- emailed back next day wanting to continue to see me
- good 6 months of so, holding my hand, and we started sleeping together after some months.
- started 'bipolar rage' over nothings, disrupting the relationship
- got a woman in a bar and stayed with her for some weeks
- contacted me again wanting to see me, saying she was nothing, easy, stupid and I was nothing of those things.
- kept talking about her, disrupting the relationship again
-asked me to wait till we could be bf and gf . (this after having asked me and talked to my son about us).
-good period of going out, phoning me at all hours
- dont want sex anymore this after a good sexual relationship that he said he never had before.
- breaks up over the phone because 'im jealous' ( but he is VERY jealous)
- keeps phoning and wanting to go out
- I decide to go abroad to forget all about him (did not)
- We email and phone for 3 months
- He tells me over the phone he is with another woman because he is alone
-I decide to cut all communication
- He keeps emailing me and saying how important I m and wants to see me
- Im back and he phones 5 times, after phones and texts more, says he has no one else and wants to see me, gets jealous that I went out with somebody else but tries to hide it.
- says we are going to see each other as friends, going against what he is showing clearly, that he thinks of me and likes me to the poing to emailing so much, phoning compulsively and wanting to go out again.
-watch that space.
































- He says the most outrageous things to my daughter, that i go after him, that I try to buy him with presents(all in his head)
- I come back, he wants to see me, keeps emailing me, and now phoning a lot, saying he has nothing with the second woman as well
- kept talking about her and disrupted the relationship again
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replied August 17th, 2011
Experienced User
Update-
He disappearead for three days and reappeared this afternoon phoning 5 times.Later in the evening he phoned me again and wanted to know how I was and wanted to see me. He said he would come tonight between jobs and stay a bit with me. He is behaving like if we have never broken up, saying how nice i have my own home now so we can sleep together without anybody bothering us. This from a man who said two weeks ago that he didnt want anything else to do with me. This from a man who didnt want sex anymore.I truly dont understand but he is back and im going to enjoy this while this lasts.
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replied October 15th, 2011
Girl, you need to move, don't take his calls, forget he ever existed. We are natural fixers, BUT you can't fix this...that's why God invented Drs. And Meds and they are for him not you.
I'm praying for you to get a backbone and save yourself cause the Calvary ain't coming!
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replied August 22nd, 2011
Experienced User
Curious if he's really trying....
Hey Reg. What's the latest? It's been five days... Has he already flipped? I know one day you'll look at him and be over him. Poor John. You will be fine, he'll always be a mess. Are you hoping he will change? Reg,he won't. I wish you well.
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replied August 22nd, 2011
Experienced User
yes, oh what a carry on.
He phoned me saturday wanting to see me, I should have said no, but I said yes. He came to my flat and we both were very awkward after 3 months separated. He sat about drinking wine and told me calmly that he is not over the woman he met last year when we were apart. Things deteriorated fast, as I asked him why he came to see me and not her, when he was going he said I WAS PUTTING A FINAL STOP in our relationship. Just because I want some respect and consideration. Next day he phoned me twice, very long phone calls, saying it is not over between us, to give him some fifteen days for him to get himself sorted out,that we will travel again and see each other again, etc, I asked him not to contact me again with that woman in the middle and I have now cut all contact and actually lost my feelings for him. It is too much to bear.
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replied August 23rd, 2011
Experienced User
I'm sorry Reg. He is a jerk. But he gave you a huge gift, "your freedom". Sounds like you have finally turned the corner and can close off your feeling for him. Maybe its time to stop the madness and find someone who is capable of mature, genuine love. It may not be as magnetic as your first encounter with John, but it will be constant and honest. John is not a good man, bipolar or not. All the best to you Reg. Peace be with you.
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replied August 23rd, 2011
Experienced User
You are absolutely right. He is behaving like a jerk and this must be because he IS a jerk. I cannot put in words the mess he has done to my head yet again, so now I feel in peace having decided to cut him off. I guess I wont be posting here so much now, unless to help other people, I really dont want to go on with the saga of my doomed relationship.
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replied September 11th, 2011
Experienced User
He continues to behave odd, after asking me to go out with him Sunday, this weekend he dOES not want to see me at all, and lied to me about going to see his family, I see right through his lies. He said he is not seeing anyone else, and he said this is true, either I believe it or not. So what is he doing the whole weekend.
Anyway, I now have more to think because I have a new man in my life,a normal one for a change.
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replied September 11th, 2011
Reg,
You have come so far! Your story has helped me in so many ways. I am so happy to hear you are finally starting to realize you are WAY TOO GOOD to be treated that way. I am working on getting there. Do you think the fact you rejected him, is going to make him try to come back even more?
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replied September 14th, 2011
Experienced User
I believe and I think by now I know how his mind works, that he will start missing me very soon, and will be trying to come back to my life . I have seen that kind of behaviour many times and there is no reason why he would not continue doing it till kingdom comes. The person who needs to stop the madness is me.
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replied September 16th, 2011
Reg,
Appreciate your posts so much. My husband is in total denial and is bipolar (confirmed by diagnosis and manic episodes). It's heartbreaking and difficult for me to let go since his behavior is what I say as the "old husband" who i love and pays attention to me and the next day the "new husband" who is a monster and cheated on me, and doesn't care about me. The biggest struggle for me is letting go... I'm getting professional treatment...not easy because of my struggle with my reality being so different than his. I hope to connect with others out there going through the same. Bipolar behavior can be so deceiving. I believe though, if they stay in denial, there is no sense being in a relationship with them. Best wishes to all dealing with this...
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replied October 2nd, 2011
Experienced User
update. Now Im in a healthy loving relationship and John, the bipolar ex, started to phone again, today he phoned 8 times as I absolutely knew he would. I did not pick the phone once. I wont. I now have a man in my life who is everything John is not, stable, mature, healthy, loving, faithfull and interested in my wellbeing. We fell in love with each other and im trully happy for the first time in two years. The relationship with the bP man left me in a huge ball of pain that slowly is cracking around me to let out the happy woman I once was.
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replied October 2nd, 2011
Experienced User
update. Now Im in a healthy loving relationship and John, the bipolar ex, started to phone again, today he phoned 8 times as I absolutely knew he would. I did not pick the phone once. I wont. I now have a man in my life who is everything John is not, stable, mature, healthy, loving, faithfull and interested in my wellbeing. We fell in love with each other and im trully happy for the first time in two years. The relationship with the bP man left me in a huge ball of pain that slowly is cracking around me to let out the happy woman I once was.
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replied October 3rd, 2011
Experienced User
good for you reggiane its good you have finally let him go and are happy with another guy
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