I am suffering from Vaginismus and its an ordeal for intercourse. I am married and and trying to conceive, and here are the steps I take for deep penetration
1) I am using an Ovulation Prediction Kit from clearblue and time sex before & during ovulation
2) The only way I can bear the pain to intercourse is if I use petroleum jelly which numbs the outer walls of my vagina, thus greatly helping penetration. No other lubrication helps
3) My husband tries to penetrate very gently, as I guide him. Once inside, I have no pain & he ejaculates inside me.
4) I do not feel anything during intercourse
5) I have used dilators, but again they are fine only with lubrication and used gently.
However, I have heard that Petroleum gel kills sperms. Water based lubricants might be better, but they do not help with my pain.
Given my condition, can you please advice if I am doing the correct steps to increase my chance of conceiving?
I understand your problem, but Ky jelly will be much better lubrication. my suggestion would be for husband to suck your nipples and play with your clitoris for 10 to 20 mins, however long it takes to bring you really close to your climax, and then gently penetrate when you are almost at your orgasm. then hopefully you and he can reach your respective climaxes at a similar time, and he will ejaculate.
if you can have your orgasm too, it is said that the cervix dips into the sperm pool as you orgasm, and this helps you to conceive.
I hope this may work for you and help to overcome your problem.