The reason why you are so low self esteemed is because you obviously care about your looks a lot. I can probably guess this is on your mind at least 5 times a day, wouldn't be surprised if it was on your mind more often then that.

Stop rating yourself, girl's don't like narcissism. It's arrogant and superficial. You can't change your looks short of cosmetic surgery, or you are one of those men who look more "distinguished with age".

By the way, you can't base your looks just because you caught the girl looking back at you while YOU were checking them out. Have you ever considered, that they know they are drop dead attractive, and they know you are going to check them out, so out of amusement they look back and check to see if you would? Don't read into it things so much.

You seem to care a lot about what your brother says, I'm not sure why you take him so seriously. From what it sounds like, it appears that you express your concerns about your looks towards him. Have you considered he says the things he does because he might be sick of hearing you talking about it? He might even be jealous, who knows why he says the things he says to his brother. Of course, I'd be judging you from your one time comment, and I don't meant to offend, but if I had a younger brother who was actually attractive, but so damn concerned about it, I'd probably give up after a point and be like "yea you are ugly, whatever".

Look man, physical appearances only gets you so far, if all you want is just sex, then ok, it will take you very far, but after that, it just becomes superficial, and most girls won't stick around for a guy who cares for his looks that much. Confidence, self esteem, a sense of self identity and capability makes you look way better in a girl's eyes then just your physical appearance. You definitely heard or seen cases where this completely unnattractive guy is with a beautiful girl no? Can't you learn just from that, that looks by itself maybe isn't that important?

You need to stop questioning your looks and asking other people about it as well. It makes you look weak, and shows even more your insecurity. A word of advice, don't ever tell your girl friends, particularly the one you are interested in, about how you think about your looks, it doesn't look good.

Confidence takes time to build, stop trying to value yourself based on what other people say, you will never be happy and you will never find what it means to be "good looking" based on them. As long as you continue to do that, you will always have low self esteem.

Everybody seems to have low self esteem to some extent, I haven't really met one who doesn't. Even those who I thought had great self esteem from a birds eye view, once I got to know them on a personal level, and exchanged a couple of personal stories, they had issues with something pertaining to their self esteem.

Lifestyle changes of your beliefs and thoughts about your looks, is what its going to take to gain you that confidence. You have to stop thinking so much about this, about what other people think about this.

Sorry if I seem harsh, but I try to get straight the point and not beat around the bush.

Good Mikolas, thank you.

Things people told me.

"If you don't get the girls, NOBODY ever will". (a guy)
"You're gorgeous, man. I'm serious, no kidding. Very handsome" (a guy)
"You are lucky. You can get any girl you want. At 30, you'll be the ICON of beauty" (a very nice and sophisticate girl. Another followed, and another, and s*** another)
"You're way handsome, why are you surprised girls look at you" (a girl)
"You're VERY handsome" ( a girl)
"You're as as beautiful as that gorgeous girl, wich I consider the best looking girl in town" (a girl)
"You're the typical good looking guy who attracts both women and men" (a rich bisexual guy)
"You're much cuter than him" (a girl comparing me to a guy who won different "mister" prizes)
"You should model. You're perfect for that" (some dozen of people).

Still, my brother stated "you're not a model, nobody will ever turn around to look at you".

Why am I doing such a ridiculous show off? Because I have nothing to lose. I don't want everybody to like me. I think most people don't speak the truth and have less than refined aesthetics. I mean who ever gave them the power to decide what is right?? Unfortunately the big guys give it to them because that's what they want, but only for their own purposes - not because it is right. I'm saying: even if somebody (my brother out of sheer jealousy and just not able to praise people) says I'm not those things, guess what, I'm still those things for those other people. Amazing, huh? And who's right? Not my brother alone. Those who have a different opinion are more, and more intelligent and with less reason to put me down than him. In my opinion. I might be wrong, but I'll keep thinking my way. Why should I give it up. Because he says so?

Those people who don't see me that way, will tell me I'm arrogant, but you know what? By coincidence, this is the people I don't give a sh** about. Not everybody have the same LEVEL of culture and aestethics. That is obvious (of course, people with low culture think that isn't true, because their way to see things MUST be the right one - but I'll cope with that - THAT is what I call arro-ignorance).

I have always attracted (look and charms, intellect) the people I have found interesting and more than myself. If I don't allow that to happen (meet interesting people) it's because I'm stuck with the silly opinions of those less than mediocre people who wanted to put me down. And I get obsessive about them because it's like I must prove they're wrong, as I really do believe they are. Waste of energy, I know. That is my mistake.

Not gonna happen again.

They're free to think whatever they want, that doesn't mean they're right.

I like talking to people who have objectivity and aestethics at heart. With respect of different tastes. They're beautiful. But my bro who tells me I can't have any girl (as you said, even awful guys can get many of them with the right charisma) can f*** off. My only purpose now is to make his jaw collapse. Not much to see this scene, but to begin liking myself instead, be surprised of what I can achieve and do.

You know why super people have always encountered obstacles in their route to success? Because of mediocre people, they've always been the main obstacles. And it's beautiful they exist.

But let me tell you. They (successful people) are so much better than my brother, really on another planet. Because of their ATTITUDE (wich he'd call arrogant). They're so much cooler, and I'd feel like an fool to be in their way. I have no idea why my brother doesn't feel the same and enjoys putting somebody with potential success down. There's nothing to appreciate in that. Makes him look bad. I would never do that with him. He was more attractive than me, we might say, few years ago, but I'm ok with that, I'm lucky to have what I've got even if there's "better" around (who decides what's better? Not my bro).

I have never said something wich is not kind, right, and which I find TRUE and useful to a person. Well, telling me I'm not that charming does NOT have any of these qualities. But apparently some people search for truth while others ENJOY mediocrity. Search for truth to me is the first requisite to get out of beign less than average. "You're arrogant, who do you think you are!" shoots the mediocre. Out of my way, for god's sake!!!!! They can kiss my a**. They're so unenlightened.

I agree I should stop thinking about it, as I tried to do so and things went much better. THOUGH, not to blame something else, but some of this obsession on being charming or not must be related to my OCD in the Pure O form, which means I'm way obsessive. When I'm stressed, I think about other's judgements much more, without discerning the mouth they come from. I get way too sensitive to criticism and put myself down a lot more.

See Mik, it's not about LOOKS, I don't care, I believe true charm exists when you have less than perfect looks, and this is why I think I'm not that bad looking guy, and that's why I think some people appreciate me. That girl might have actually liked me, no? We should ask her, you can't tell. You maybe wish she didn't. She's not the only one who turned around, dozens of girls have done that, cute or not. I have the charisma and I'm not giving it up. It's so good to have it. So useful in many ways. Necessary to live life fully, wich is want I want to do.

Not sure you'll still have something to say.
To be honest, I feel perfectly fine now, I'm even happy my brother tried to put me down. I think I have better self esteem now: I'm ok even if he thinks I can't get the girl I want. Because I think that is total bull****. And people whose opinion I care more about would agree with me. So, who is right? I might be wrong or right. Mmmh, gotta think I'm right.

That is plain pretentious, but I'd be an fool not to be so and believe my brother.
Really an fool I wouldn't esteem. Believing the s*** of a jealous brother. He'd give an eye just for my belly.

Mediocre people who criticize just for the sake of putting others down even if what they say isn't TRUE aren't for me. For the rest, I might be the ugliest guy ever, if that was the truth. Unfortunately it isn't. Saying that right now and never shoving it to anybody. So don't think I want to look better than you. I'm sure you're alright. Or more.

Thanks again for your post, good points.

why do u care so much? forget it and live your life. you get a girl okay good for u. u dont okay good for u too . u move on. u dont need to be writing novels about who said what. you are what you are now move on with ur life

Ditto. It was just because I get insecure sometimes. So I need to re-affirm myself in order to move on. I guess many people would. Plus, I'm an obsessive neurotic. I have the face to do it because we're on the internet so I have nothing to lose, you don't know me.

Man your being waaaaay to hard on yourself. First of all, screw your brother. He's a guy and he's related to you, so why take his opinion seriously? Your not trying to score with him are you?

As far as everything else goes, stop analyzing every little detail and comment. Not every guy or girl in the world is going to think your good looking. Everyone has their own preferences. If you get a compliment from a girl then take it in stride. If you get turned down then move right on to the next one.

When girls ask you how you think you look don't really answer the question. Skate around it. Be like, "I don't know I really don't pay that much attention, I dress the way I want to dress and if people like it then great, if not then o well I not trying to impress everyone".

Live your life through you, not bystanders or passing strangers you'll never see for the rest of your life.

Yo if good looking girls are saying YOUR good looking, then why even post here bro. You obviously got something they like or that catches their eye. Gain confidence from that and do not get conceited or overworked. Just CHILL.

Good one juicy,

please remember I've got this obsessive mind that makes me obsessive on a RANDOM matter. But these points are quite good, thank you. Gotta and will chill.

"look" is important as a guy? then all the rock stars out there should be masturbating alone now instead of being with 100 chicks a day.

It's your attitude that turn them on... and ofcourse, atleast try to be clean and smell good, as for the look part.