I have been doing a lot of thinking back over my past, and i have a lot of stuff in my past that i am very unhappy about. When i was in high school i had two really good girl friends that led to meeting a few more. One of my best friends ended up going out with this one guy and hanging out with his friends. Because of her i started hanging out with them as well. It was a group of 4 guys, and us 2 girls - as mentioned, two of them were dating. A lot of times when they would hang out they would drink, that's what they did. Eventually I ended up drinking with all of them. Then there was one night in particular that i went against my better judgment.
We were all hanging out. We always had at a designated driver to drive the others home, which was a guy this time. We had been drinking and for whatever reason my girl friend wanted to really drink that night and wanted me to do so too. Against my better judgment i agreed and we started pounding them back, within an hour or so. Needless to say we got pretty messed up. I started feeling tired and decided to go lay down on the couch. I would say no more than 30 seconds later i was out (is this considered passing out or falling asleep?). After a while I woke up and ran to the bathroom throwing up. I didn't make it and ended up with it all over my shirt. I took the shirt off in the bathroom and against my better judgment went back and laid back down on the couch with just my bra on. We were there for another 2 to 3 hours or so i would say. I was pretty much out on the couch the rest of the night other than waking up like 2 more times to throw up. Then the last thing i remember is one of the guys waking me up to take me and my girl friend home. I THINK someone gave me a sweatshirt to wear home. And i know someone brought my shirt home a few days later.
Now the thing that bothers me is this: what happened while i was out?
At the time i didn't think anything about it, but looking back, all of the guys had a thing for me. When i went to lay on the couch my girl friend was already laying down pretty out of it, when i woke up she was completely out. So basically the two of us were knocked out in a house with four guys. And to top it all off, when the guy took us home he got out and hugged me and said something about "you don't know how hard it was to not do anything"
And here is my thinking:
-decent guy(s) would have offered me a shirt to wear if they weren't pigs, after all we were at one of their houses. Which leads me to believe they were wanting the view.
-decent guy(s) would have taken me home the instant they saw i was out of it and throwing up
-decent guy(s) wouldn't have ever thought about doing something nor thought to say anything about it when i went home. Not to mention nothing would have been 'hard' about not doing anything.
In my defense, at the time i thought they were good friends that i could trust. on the other hand it was a mistake and i see that now. I just want to know what others think of my logic, if you think they did anything, what you think they might have done, and anything that might tip me off to if something happened or not. I've thought about calling them to ask, but i highly doubt they'd admit to anything - right?
Thanks for those who actually took the time to read this. Please help, any opinion or view is more than i have now. There are no wrong answers.