hey, i met a guy online about 4 months ago and we have talking on the phone and texting ever since. i havent met him yet, he also lives quite a distance from me, which doesnt bother me that much, i am planning to meet him in about 4 weeks time for the first time, we are both 20.
At the start of the relationship, it was so good, we were laughing, we got on so well, but he did like me to call him quite alot. i havent had a propper relationship before so i thought all this talking on the phone was normal, i didnt think anything of it, i did have to talk to him when my parents were not around, which was mainly when i went to bed. i have recently told my mates at uni that i have met a guy off the internet and they seemed fine about it.
recently we have been arguing, he wants me to spend as much time with him as possible, he used to call me all the time, about 4 times a day, for 2/3 hours at a time. he has told me he is in love with me, and i have said it back, but also told him that i wasnt sure what i felt, he gets so paranoid, hates me going out and rinking, but his family members have had problems with drink, and his sister has had an awful experience at a club, so i can see why he doesnt want me to go out, hes dont me im the best thing is his life, and that because we are in a relationship we should sacrifise things, for example i should stop drinking. i love gong out i have told him that he cant stop me going out, im at uni. he gets scared alot that im going to dump him, he them says that he is going to kill himslef, because there wouldnt be anything to live for, he had no job so sits in his room all day watching tv. he has mates, but i dont think he sees them that often.
when we are talking, he asks what i am going to do when i hang up, i say that i may just lay on my bed and chill and listen to some music, he then says why cant i talk to him.
he hates the fact i put my friends first, i told him to cut the phone calls as he was too demanding. he has cut them down to 2 1 hour calls a day, plus calling in the morning and at night until we fall asleep on the phone. he says if i spend 5 hours talking to my mates i should spent 5 hours with him.
always texting me when im going to call next, emotional blackmailing me. i cry alot on the phone to him, somtimes about silly things. i know he has this hold on me, and hes scared of loosing me.
i know this may sound crazy, but put that aside, and hes a great loving caring guy, he loves me so much, we have such a laugh, hes so funny, makes me feel loved, and just so lovely. he says he wants to marry me and have kids with me, i just wish he will change. i do care about him so much, i want to help him as much as possible.
i am due to meet him in about 4 weeks, i dont know what do to, i want to give his a chance, see him face to face and do things together and have fun. but i dont know if meeting him will make his possesiveness worse. he KNOWS that he hurts me, and feels like hurting himslef because hes doing this to me, he hates himslef for it, and crys, he has very low self-estem.
do i only call him once a week? do i end it? do i cancel him coming down to see me? wait until he backs off? the trouble is im too emtional attached to him, last night was the first night without calling him and falling asleep on the phone together, and i cryed all night. i want him to change so badly
please help?
