Well, I can relate to not allowing a someone to make me climax for a long time. But, you really should try and learn about what you are feeling, and YOU will always be your best sexual partner!

I was actually reading this earlier http://www.scarleteen.com/article/pink/is_ masturbation_okay_yep


And what you said made me think of it. I think that you should really try and find out what makes you feel good. Then overcome how you feel about allowing someone else to make you feel good.

Firstly, buy a vibrator! you can buy the discreetly online from loads of places e.g. anne summers.
A good vibrator will avoid the direct touching of your clit that you seem to want to avoid, and will give you a powerful orgasm in 2-3 minutes.
Once you know the sensation that you are aiming for, you will i) want to feel that again ASAP! and ii) will be able to use either your hand, or your boyfriends hand (actually, his tongue would be preferable!!!) to bring on that sensation.
I also recommend that you ask your boyfriend to masturbate in front of you. This will make you less self conscious about climaxing in front of him.
Dont deny yourself the pleasure of orgasms a moment longer!

I'm a man, but my advice to you is that you need to spend some quiet time with yourself, and learn how to play with that thing, then teach your man what makes you tick. Every woman is different, and you have the advantage of being inside yourself, and being able to tell what feels the best, and what should be avoided. Then don't be shy about helping him help you when the time comes again. If he's a jerk about not wanting to take some gentle direction, he's probably a jerk in other ways too.

This last thing can be a real relationship killer. My wife and I have been married for 15,000 years (plus or minus a few zeroes,) and we've had a lot of sexual frustration because we were both raised by really puritanical families, and we're ridiculously embarrassed to talk about sex (even though we're both comparatively freaky and kinky.) You wouldn't believe the long-term frustration you can wind up with if you're too shy to just say "Hey, move a little to the left, and less tooth" or something.

It's worth the effort to get over such hangups. Orgasms rock. I recommend an orgasm a day, at least. (And I will note for the record that while it is usually women who have trouble with this issue, I've actually been known to fake orgasms myself on occasion. Orgasm trouble isn't just for the ladies.)