I came home from work to a table full of
empty pill bottles Trazondone (sleeping
pills) 15 pills he had taken. Over 80
Effexors (his depression medication) and
30 Tylenol 3's (from when I got my wisdom
teeth out) He may have taken more, but
there were multipul bottles of pills. He
also drank 26 oz of Vodka. I tried waking
him up by shaking him and yelling. I
thought he was dead. I called 911. An
ambulance came very quickly. I pulled him
up so that he was sitting with his head
between his legs. When the ambulance got
here (by then I had gotten him to open his
eyes) They only opened half way and were
all over the place.
They hooked him up to monitors, his heart
was very fast and his blood pressure was
very low. I thought forsure he was going
to die today. I called his mom, dad,
brother, and sister in law. I to tell them
to get to this hospital "Its not good" He
was in the trama ward for a long time they
worked on him the entire time. He was
hooked up to alot of machines and had
tubes down his nose. He was with nurses
and doctors for 24 hours or more in trama.
Then they moved him to another room where
a lady sits outside his door and checks on
him. He still isn't medically clear.
There were two letters one read: word for
word it says: Something is coming after
me. I've been running all my whole life.
I'm gonna kill it! I don't know what I am
doing.
Letter two I don't have they have it at
the hospital it read something like this:
That he's sorry he's helpless, and about
not being a good person.
He is a good person. He tries very hard to
please everyone. He has depression,
trouble sleeping- horrible night mears. He
has social anxiety. He was molested when
he was a child once by an older cousin. He
drinks when he's alone ALOT to get rid of
the pain it just makes him sleep and then
he wakes up and cries during the day. Not
everyday it goes in spurts. BUT they got
closer.
I am pregnant with our first child- and am
very emotional with him. Telling him
constantly to get help. (he doesn't know
who can help him) I am telling you its so
frustrating. He works for his brother and
his brother just cut his salary in half-
then hes moving to commision soon (he's
afraid he can't provide for a family.) His
car broke down so his parents let him use
theres. (they said they need it back in
three weeks) He needs a car to get to
work. No busses go that way. I just
started a pretty good job. He wanted me to
get him in there. (I told him I couldn't)
He felt like crap. His WHOLE life he was a
people pleaser. He pleased his parents by
working hard and getting straight A's and
was on the deans list all through college.
He's EXTREAMLY smart, and very sensitive.
He is afraid of failing. He's afraid to
get the help he needs. BEcASUE what if it
doesn't work again. I think WHAT IF IT
DOES! It seems like we just can't find the
right place.
Six weeks ago he was having problems with
his life. He thought then it was a good
time to die. He was continplating killing
himself in a hotel room. I told his
parents he's probably in a hotel there are
hundreds where we live they found him and
he was sitting there crying with tylenol
and a bottle of vodka. He was admitted to
the phyc ward for 2 weeks. Plus he got to
come home for the weekend. When he got out
his brother took him to mexico to try to
help him feel better. he went to mexico
when he came back he was worse, but
thought he was better. He didn't continue
with medical treatments. He didn't think
they could help him. He was suppose to go
for a one hour meeting here and there. MAX
three times a week. I kept pushing him and
he kept pushing away. However, he didn't
drink for 6 weeks which is probably the
longest he has quit in a long time.
He finds problems with EVERY treament
center. They tell you to give it to god.
He needs REALITY- Which is why I am
begging you as my last resort. He needs
HELP he needs the proper care and support.
He needs encouragement he needs to know
that he's worth the help and trust me if
you can't help him at this point no one
can PLEASE . In two weeks he's going to
get out of the hospital again (probably)
He's not himself. We need help. I need
help coping and knowing this isn't my
fault that morning we had an argument and
I feel like I contributed. I need my
boyfriend back when he's feeling better so
we can have our family. I don't want him
to die he's a good person and does good
things. He makes people feel comfortable.
He's gentle and my life mate.
|
Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5557 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 90
Thanked:32
Posted: 03-17-08 11:04am
You know, honestly, being in the hospital
might be the best thing for him. They
should have some kind of treatment there,
and the should be able to refer him to
someone who can continue helping after he
is getting out. He needs a good
psychologist/psychiatrist team to help
him.
Unfortunately, most treatment centers in
the US do stress "giving it up to your
higher power." However, he doesn't have to
interpret that to mean God (but I know
it's hard). Maybe help him try to find
something to mean his "higher power?" Some
people see reason as their higher power...
would that work for him? Even if he
doesn't beleive in God, he has to believe
in something, divine or not.
How can you help? Remove all alcohol and
drugs from the house (anything that is not
prescribed for him, including the tylenol
and stuff) and anything you need to take,
lock up somewhere. And support him.
Realize that this isn't your fault, it
isn't his, and neither of you can control
it. All he can do it get aligned with the
right treatment centers for the alcohol
and the right doctors for the depression.
|
StacyHoll
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Jan 2008 Posts: 329
Thanks: 2
Thanked:1
Posted: 03-17-08 11:10am
I know being in the hospital is the best.
He was just there 6 weeks ago. He got out
and didn't continue on with the care
stating 'no one could help him' OR 'its
just not for me' Its horrible. The
hospital will only keep him there for 2
weeks then he comes home. He can't come
home. He needs help. I just don't know
where to go for the help for him. Weve
tried so much.
I tried to explain that to him with the
higher power thats why I am thinking
something 'real' more natural. I have
heard of natural places that can help. I
just am trying to hold on. My family wants
me to leave him.
There is no medication here anymore.. He
took it ALL OF it. Really.. He could use a
knife. Its just scary. They're keeping him
for two weeks. He needs like years of
help. We just don't know where to go from
there
Thank you for taking the time to read my
message.
|
Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5557 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 90
Thanked:32
Posted: 03-17-08 11:38am
Could the doctors suggest other places for
you? They should keep him until they are
sure he isn't suicidal anymore (according
to the law). So they should be helping you
figure this out.
Call them and see, it's worth a try.
|
Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5557 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 90
Thanked:32
Posted: 03-17-08 11:40am
Stacy- By the way, I really feel for you.
I know that's a really tough situation to
be in, and especially when you're
pregnant. Keep holding on.
|
StacyHoll
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Jan 2008 Posts: 329
Thanks: 2
Thanked:1
Posted: 03-17-08 16:04pm
Thank you. I really do appreciate it.
Its really scary and I really don't know
what to do. By law they can only have him
there for two weeks. His brother and
family are giving me a hard time. His mom
is jealous of me and is there alot. I
can't afford a car so I cant go there as
much. Only if they take me.
Everytime something like this happens.
Everyone takes it out on me. His family
treats me like crap and his mom who we see
like 4 times a year takes over everything.
Its just horrible. This time my family is
telling me I have to move now. Its hard
though because I love him.
Now his brother said that he can get my
boyfriend out of the 'lease' of where we
live. As I can't afford to be paying
1200.00 per month + student loans + phone
bill internet + cable + visa + apartment
insurance. so. They're pretty much going
to put me right out on the street. I told
them I can afford my half.
Its just a living hell being pregnant with
a man who has become very depressed and
now suicidal. I just don't know what to do
any more. I am falling apart inside.
|
StacyHoll
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Jan 2008 Posts: 329
Thanks: 2
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Posted: 03-17-08 20:34pm
Well Its offical I am going to lose it!! I
hate his family they're horrible!
|
StacyHoll
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Jan 2008 Posts: 329
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Posted: 03-17-08 22:12pm
I have been quite hormonal. I know that
this is a 'special' situation to be in. I
just can't wait to get his family away
from me and I can't wait to live a good
life with my baby. Pretty much.. I am sure
his signed his rights over when he tried
to kill himself.
|
musicdiva1331
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Feb 2008 Posts: 21 Location: ,
Posted: 03-17-08 23:33pm
If you love him, like, really love him,
you have to stick by him. yes it sucks,
yes you are having stuff to deal with too,
yes his family is health forum and
annoying, but if he loves you and then
loses you AND your child, think how that
is going to effect him in his very
unstable state. Get a friend to take you
to see him, pick a time where you KNOW any
of his family whom you have conflict with
won't be there. Talk to him, just be
there, listen to him, help him. if all
else fails, just sit and hold his hand.
You can't MAKE someone get help, you can
gently nudge them towards it, accompanied
by helping them to realize how much you
want them around, how much you would lose
and suffer if they were gone. as for his
family, if it continues, confront them,
tell them flat out, look i love your son,
he loves me, i am having his kid and i
have just as much right to make sure the
man i love and the father of my child are
improving and being given the care they
need as you do. And your family, if they
continue it and you don't want to leave
him, i hate to say it, but tell them to
medical question themselves. seriously.
they should SUPPORT your decisions, not
knock them. they should be giving up
everything to help you in your situation,
not making it more stressful. i know
confrontation is scary, i know that it can
be hard to do, but sometimes it has to
happen.
as for the idea of something more concrete
for a higher power, if you haven't
already, remind him that HIS CHILD has yet
to be born. he should remember that. god
bless and be with you, i'm going to pray!
|
Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5557 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 90
Thanked:32
Posted: 03-18-08 10:49am
Oh man.
If the two of you were married, then you'd
have legal control over the situation, but
since you aren't, his family does. Because
of this, I think it's probably really
important you try and stick by his family
if you want to stay with him! Know what I
mean? It's really too bad that neither
your family or his are supporting you
right now, because you really need it.
|
StacyHoll
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Jan 2008 Posts: 329
Thanks: 2
Thanked:1
Posted: 03-18-08 23:36pm
musicdiva1331
wrote:
If you love him, like,
really love him, you have to stick by him.
yes it sucks, yes you are having stuff to
deal with too, yes his family is health
forum and annoying, but if he loves you
and then loses you AND your child, think
how that is going to effect him in his
very unstable state. Get a friend to take
you to see him, pick a time where you KNOW
any of his family whom you have conflict
with won't be there. Talk to him, just be
there, listen to him, help him. if all
else fails, just sit and hold his hand.
You can't MAKE someone get help, you can
gently nudge them towards it, accompanied
by helping them to realize how much you
want them around, how much you would lose
and suffer if they were gone. as for his
family, if it continues, confront them,
tell them flat out, look i love your son,
he loves me, i am having his kid and i
have just as much right to make sure the
man i love and the father of my child are
improving and being given the care they
need as you do. And your family, if they
continue it and you don't want to leave
him, i hate to say it, but tell them to
medical question themselves. seriously.
they should SUPPORT your decisions, not
knock them. they should be giving up
everything to help you in your situation,
not making it more stressful. i know
confrontation is scary, i know that it can
be hard to do, but sometimes it has to
happen.
as for the idea of something more concrete
for a higher power, if you haven't
already, remind him that HIS CHILD has yet
to be born. he should remember that. god
bless and be with you, i'm going to
pray!
Can it really get worse. His mom called me
last night and was screaming at me. I was
getting bad pains inmy side and today I
started bleeding really heavy. I went to
the hospital. I lost our baby. I will find
out forsure tomorrow. Really though? Why
is all of this happening to me. Now I have
to go in for surgery and really can't pay
my rent. My cheque is 900.00 and my rent
is over 1000.00 now because I am missing a
week my cheque will be like 500.00. Its
horrible. GOD HELP ME! I don't know how i
am going to tell them. I don't know if I
can be with him anymore.
|
StacyHoll
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Jan 2008 Posts: 329
Thanks: 2
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Posted: 03-18-08 23:38pm
Georgia59
wrote:
Oh man.
If the two of you were married, then you'd
have legal control over the situation, but
since you aren't, his family does. Because
of this, I think it's probably really
important you try and stick by his family
if you want to stay with him! Know what I
mean? It's really too bad that neither
your family or his are supporting you
right now, because you really need
it.
My mom is coming around she feels so bad
right now. I really started bleeding alot
and lost our baby. I will find out
tomorrow. His mom is why I lost the baby.
How much control can I let that woman
have. I almost lost my boyfriend because
of her. Now, I lost my baby. Shes just
evil. She looks kinda like judge judy..
BUT she looks meaner and she is worse.
Shes just such a selfish bith
|
CarolDiane
Supporter
Joined: 23 Sep 2007 Posts: 2396
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Stacy Posted: 03-19-08 00:54am
My heart goes out to you. What was said is
true. Not being married, does not give you
much control over the situation. This guy
need counseling like yesterday. I am so
sorry about the baby. As far as his family
goes, it sounds like they are part of his
problem. Alot of people cry out for help.
He went all the way with this.
You will be in my thoughts with hope he
will get some help. God knows he needs it.
And soon too!
|
Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5557 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 90
Thanked:32
Posted: 03-19-08 10:28am
Oh, I'm so sorry about the baby. I hope
your family comes around and you have some
support. You need to protect yourself
right now.
|
StacyHoll
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Jan 2008 Posts: 329
Thanks: 2
Thanked:1
Posted: 03-21-08 07:15am
I went in for my D& C this time before
they did an ultrasound and the baby was
moving and the heart was going. THANK
GOD!!! Before he used a Dopper and we
couldn't find a heart beat. He tried for
30 min usually it takes like 30 sec to
find the heart. The doctor just said he
was sorry but the baby probably died. So,
I didn't need the D&C were waiting to
see if the baby makes it. I am 14 1/2
weeks. The baby still is at risk.. I am
going to pray.. I am still bleeding and
still hurts when I walk or sit.
I called my boyfriend to tell him that
things really didn't look good. First I
talked with his nurse and also his
councellor. They both said yes you need to
tell him. I told the nurse that I was
calling and she stood by him I told him
things don't look too good for the baby
right now. He broke down crying. He was
really upset. He was like I am losing
everything.. OK I am mad now because all
that he 'almost' lost was going to
commission at work, losing the car, and
having to put up with me!!! Hes being so
selfish. I almost lost him and the baby in
the same week. This is crazy. He has no
clue.
Later that night he called he was happy.
His parents were there they got him a job
with his brother (his brother is the one
putting him on commission) Also the
brother who only pointed out all of the
bad things that he did at work. He was
happy and didn't seem to care about
anything. Its like his parents come in and
turn everything around and make him feel
good again. ERRRRR HE NEEDS TO LEARN HOW
TO DEAL WITH LIFE ON HIS OWN HE"S 32 years
OLD!!! He also needs to be in long term
help.
His mom brings him up and when he gets out
she will bring him down again. Her little
way of 'controling' him.
When we spoke that night he asked if I was
bleeding because his mom was mean to me
and I said YEP thats exactly what happened
because she makes my life a living HELL.
Shes even stooped so low to try to get me
out of our place that we live!!! Geeze I
am pregnant I have virtually NO WHERE to
go and shes trying that.
I told him that I couldn't stand her and
that I will never talk to her again. So,
he needs to figure out what he's going to
do whether he wants to be with me or not.
Because this lady is ruining our lives.
Anyway, I told him NEVER again. Then he
simply let me go and never called me back
for a couple days. I still haven't heard
from him since that convo... Nice guy.. I
guess his chose his mama over his pregnant
girlfriend. Who was the only one thats
ever supported him!! Through it all. BUT
weve seen them 3 times this year when he's
in the hospital they're stand up parents.
When he comes home she will call and tell
him he's worthless etc. I have been doing
this for a long time and just can't
anymore.
|
Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5557 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 90
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Posted: 03-21-08 19:55pm
Yeesh.
Focus on yourself right now, get yourself
and the baby taken care of.
And remember, he is not thinking clearly
now. About anything. Give him some time
(and hopefully good treatment) and he'll
come around.
|
StacyHoll
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Jan 2008 Posts: 329
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Posted: 03-21-08 21:03pm
I am trying so hard to just stay away from
his parents. I told him that I didn't want
his parents calling or coming here. Today
they called and tomorrow they want to come
and pick up some of his stuff. Can you
believe it? I don't want them here. I
don't want him here. I didn't answer the
phone and I will leave in the morning if
they do come I will just tell them that I
have to go to work and don't have time for
it in the morning.
He's just being selfish all he cares about
is himself and who will help him more.
I called him this morning- he spoke with
me for like 5 min and let me go and it
seems that his parents have won him over.
They're just babying him and treating him
good to boost him up. Then when he gets
out they will treat him like crap! He
needs the oppourtunity to learn how to
deal with things on his own. ARG!!
|
deepu
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Mar 2008 Posts: 4
Posted: 03-23-08 12:45pm
try the "bach rescue remedy" and add the
flower remedy "chicory" to it.... will
definitely help yourself and your friend..
you can get it over the counter at all
major outlets..
praying everything soon changes for the
better for you ..
|
deepu
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Mar 2008 Posts: 4
Posted: 03-23-08 12:55pm
please keep taking the rescue remedy at
least.. will DEFINITELY help yourself and
the baby
.. START TAKING THE REMEDY AT THE EARLIEST
.. keep taking it once every hour..
you can get it from any health food outlet
or homeopathy outlet
|
wilderness
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Mar 2008 Posts: 1
Posted: 03-25-08 07:27am
"somewhere in my sadness i no i wont fall
apart completely"-toronto
