Ok this is not about my hopes and dreams for procreation.

I have been divorced for a year and have had sex with 5 women during this time. Last night i had sex with a girl I barely know. We used a condom. At one point I pulled it out and checked, and it was intact. Moments later I came in her but the F*****G THING HAD RIPPED OPEN.

I immediately became very concerned. I have a child already who lives with his mommy in Germany. He is a child I love with all my heart, and our divorce and losing my son as broken me down badly. The last thing on earth I need is to deal with an unwanted pregnancy situation. I was immediately turned off and instantansously became repulsed by my partner. She said she was on the pill, but somehow I was thinking "Fatal Attraction" and was not sure I believed her. She did not seem nearly as concerned as I was, this made me feel paranoid and possibly entrapped.

After she left, the whole night my mind wandered around all the horrible possible outcomes to this. The financial burden, the fact that I don't even like this girl (she wasn't even pretty, sorry) this could drive me to suicide if she goes fatal attraction on me.

She has reassured me that she took "extra contraception" the morning after, she had just finished her period so her body was not primed yet for fertilization, and that she was not crazy like Glenn Close.

I am astounded at how stupid this was, at my actions. The idea of casual sex has become repulsive to me - it is rarely satisfying anyway - and I am not even interested in any partner until we are both tested and take all precautions. Those are my new rules, from now on.

I really just needed to vent and express my embaressment and paralyzing fear over the coming weeks as this plays out. Nothing to do but wait. Believe me I have a lot of issues right now and adding another one of this complexity is something I really do not need. Again I don't even like this girl, I don't even know her. If there is anything further I can do to mitigate this situation please offer your comments. Or if you want to rip me a new one, I understand.