Hi Tim,

I am not replying as someone older and wiser, but as a peer. I am a couple of years older than you, but I have been feeling the same as you for a long time now.

I too find it hard to determine which to blame: masturbation or porn. I find it impossible to look at porn and NOT masturbate, its possible to masturbate without porn (which is healthy in moderation), but once I've resigned myself to masturbating, its very difficult to resist the additional temptation of looking at porn.

Firstly, forget your worries about your resume, everyone starts with a blank resume! You're young, its nothing to be ashamed of!

Secondly, remove your sources of porn. If videos/magazines, dump them, not just put them in the corner, remove them from your life! If its the internet, download site restriction software. Set the administrator password to something that will remind yourself of your promise to quit porn. Once that is done, use the internet for more beneficial purposes - read advice how to write a good resume, see what jobs may be advertised, see what courses are available if you fancy more education, etc...

Hope that's some help to you... its working for me so far.

Believe it or not. You actually have answered your own question on how to resolve this in you topic post. Now put it into action. Get a job, get out and do things ect. In otherwords " Get a life". I is bound to help.

I find this dialogue very helpful, and it's reassuring to find out that I'm not alone, that others struggle with the same problem. I have no medical expertise, but I believe that masturbation and pornography contribute substantially to one's depression.

Roughly two years ago, I moved to a new city, living by myself in a single apartment. It was the loneliest period of my life (I'm a single male, age 30). Nearly everyday of the work week, I came home, had a beer and watched video pornography and masturbated. Believing I had become addicted, I stopped using pornography about 4 months ago, nonetheless I masturbate regularly, sometimes as much as 3 or 4 times a day. Following two short, failed relationships I developed traditional symptoms that accompany depression - exhaustion, irritability, fatigue, bodyaches, an absence of pleasure in my life. I believe masturbation only adds to it, deepens loneliness, and serves only as a temporary or immediate relief.

While I believe that masturbation can be healthy, and at times, a release from stress, I think that masturbation in the context of depression only deepens feelings of despair and loneliness.

Finally, I agree with the first response. You're young and you're looking for your first job. Your resume is expected to be thin. That shouldn't deter you in your job search. Good luck my friend.

If it feels good...do it, in the words of Christy Canyon.

I thought I was the only one.
Marshevers - "I think that masturbation in the context of depression only deepens feelings of despair and loneliness." I think you're right. That's how it feels to me anyway. It's transcient. There's no real, lasting pleasure.

I have found recently that i become quite depressed after masturbating, and not because i feel alone (i have a girlfriend) and when i have been alone it hasn't affected it. I personally have depression anyway but i find that masturbation can help trigger a depression or deepen it, but only when i do it for myself; if its with my girlfriend then it doesn't seem to have an effect. I'm not sure if it's just another branch of my depression or an actual problem in itself.

Hope that makes you feel a little better about it

I agree with putting away the pornography. Instant gratification has usually been the downfall of most peoples in our nation. Fast food, alcohol, cigarettes, you name it. If used rarely or at least moderately will give you a good night, but never in excess. As for the psychological portion; it is an addiction. The mind gets used to a certain amount of gratification it receives on a daily basis. Once that gratification becomes normal, nothing seems to exceed it. The mind feels it can no longer feel equalized without that feeling in the day; which sadly with masturbation only gives you that stability during the action and not afterward. So if you cut masturbation down to a minimum, or none at all, then your body will gain the original stability. As for masturbation with yourself compared to with a partner, i believe it has more to do with your subconscious. If with say another, people are excited,happy, and open. Though, usually with masturbation it's more secluded, maybe even guilt-filled. Masturbation and sex are strong amplifiers of feelings.

I must say that the correct way to use the word
ETCETERA

is ETC NOT ect.
Ok?

Well, I believe nothing is a if done in a controlled way.Masturbating once a week or more is not bad.

I know exactly what ur going through. Its a terrible place to be. Its hard to move on and sometimes its easy to slip back into old habits. Even when i have not looked at porn or masturbated for a long time there is still that...maybe i do it to punish myself because i know how it makes me feel afterwards...its definitely a mental disease or disorder

I find it difficult to masturbate when depressed. I try to force myself to, because if I don't my depression will just get worse. It isn't natural to go too long without doing it. It's hard to get into the mood when I'd rather be cutting. I've been forcing myself to masturbate, even though it's no fap September. Partly because it's no fap September. I'm a pretty cool guy, I masturbate and don't get pressured by no fap September.

I had the same thing. First time I masturbated I felt really bad. I felt great guilt without an apparent reason. Well, I kept doing it and I always felt very bad afterwards. I had very bad depressive states because of it. And people say it is something normal to do, enjoy your body and so on. Well, I find that completely wrong.

I think masturbating is something unnatural to do. Normally, sex is meant for having children and it is done with a partner of opposite sex. Now for men it is easy to satisfy themselves alone since they don't need emotional involvement like women. Think what this means form an evolutionary point of view.

Sometimes in the past men were masturbating for fun. The more they were masturbating, the less sex drive they had to look for women and have sex with them. It was probably not as easy as going for your neighbour's woman and jump on her. It took some creative thinking ans social behaviour (courting) just like nowadays. Now since those men had a way of satisfying themselves, they needed women less. Consequently, they were having less children. This is a big evolutionary downturn.

Then something happened. A random part of those men started feeling awkwards about masturbating. They stopped masturbating that much and started having more children. In time, some of them developed bad feelings about masturbating ans simply stopped doing it. Those men were having the most children. Their children inherited these traits. It was a good thing for the species as it allowed a faster reproduction. So, naturally, humans developed some mechanisms against masturbation.

Now where are those mechanisms? Do we see them? As one that masturbated a lot, I can say a saw them. They start working immediately after the release, they look like anxiety and in time they develop into a chronic, longer lasting state, a mixture of depression and anxiety which worsens in time if masturbation is not stopped.

Where do these mechanisms take place in the human body? I have no definite proof, but I think some of them work on the part of the mind that is involved in social behaviour and other have to do with hormones released during sex.

The big downturn in masturbation seems to be in not having a partner. I am not sure about it because I have never masturbated with a partner. I just read the posts above which say that a partner stops the downturn after release. Thus it seems logical to be a social relay that is misfired during masturbation and which generates the major mental downturn after release.

Now about the sex hormones, my argument is the following. The sex hormones have two roles: before sex they enhance the body's general capabilities (resistence, hardiness, alertness, tonus and so on) and thus enhance the person's atractiveness. During sex they simply enhance fertility. After that they stop working for a while - at least in men. If sex is done too often, the effect may be a decrease in the working capacities of the human body. Now this, coupled with repeated bad states like those I was experiencing after masturbation, may yield a chronic depressive state in time or even worse.

Thus I would say that masturbation is unnatural because of evolution. The humans evolved like this. The simple existence of masturbation made this evolutionary trend possible. Thus I would recommend everyone to NEVER do it as it might trigger the psychological downturn. I also recommend against it from my own experience. If you feel like doing it, go out and just run or do any other sport that will leave you tired. Find some occupation that keeps you busy. And, most importantly, stay with other people, not alone.