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Need Advice, Might Not Work Out

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been dating my girlfriend for 9 months, its amazing i don't care what anyone has to say about how long its been. but its long enough for 16 yrs old.

so i had a feeling my girlfriend was lieing to me. and her enemy a girl she does not like, told me that my girlfriend was lieing and that she could prove it, so just a couple days ago i went to meet up my girlfriends enemy and we put her on speaker phone. she admitted to seeing her ex, but the reason was not revealed on the call.
when i told her that i had busted her and thta she can't lie to me anymore she was upset about the whole thing. she then told me that she was lieing for a reason, to stop the fighting between me and her ex boyfriend. her ex bf wanted to kick my butt. so she went down in person to stop all the drama.
i tell her what she did was wrong lieing to my face for 3 months straight but she now flips it the other way and says i did wrong and that i should make it up to her, when the reason i went to see her enemy is because i knew she was cheating i wanted to confirm, i don't like being lied to, so how am i the one to blame for this?
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replied July 9th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
no she lied and i can promise she lied about why she went to see him too
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replied July 9th, 2007
i don't understand why she would lie though, if there was nothing to hide right? how positive are you that shes lieing again? she has lied once and i caught her, and i told her i couldn't trust her, and now shes telling me she can't trust me because i went and busted her behind her back. i have never given her a reason not to trust me. she is trying to make me feel guilty by telling me that she doesnt believe what she did was as bad as what i did by going to bust her with her enemy Confused
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replied July 9th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
because now that SHES trying to make YOU feel guilty it means shes trying to make you feel bad
trust me im a gil ive done this a million times in the past
and im 16 so im your age too
trust me lol
i could be wrong but im 99% sure shes lieing to cover up another lie and told you that just so u wouldnt get super angry and now that shes turning it around and trying to make you the bad guy- its to cover up what shes done

girls who still do that immature stuff at this age are pathetic. im sorry but...i wouldnt trust her or her ex
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replied July 10th, 2007
Experienced User
I disagree................nothing is so black and white...............people lie for various reasons................she may have lied to spare your feelings............afterall she knows what your reaction will be.............

another possibility is that like many young women............growing up and discovering boundaries and limitations.............she has discovered she enjoys the attentions from more than just one male............she may not even realize that she's doing this..............

.......and/or she may have difficult letting go..................at one point they shared a history and perhaps she wants to hold on to the memory of what once was..............

..........as far as communication..............zip the lip............and try listening instead....................no matter how hard it is.................more gets solved when the other party feels like their partner is "really" listening to their problems Smile
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replied July 10th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
the_girlfreind wrote:

girls who still do that immature stuff at this age are pathetic. im sorry but...i wouldnt trust her or her ex
for one,it's not fair for you to promise that she was cheating.You can state your opinion is but your not there. second,16 is not really an age where something like that is uncommon.it's actually quite common until you are older and even then people still do it.I do agree that it's immature though.

russel,if you don't trust her there is nothing there.if *you* think she was cheating in your heart she probably was.all you can do is move on unless you want to suck it up and try to forget about it.do not let her turn this around on you and make you feel bad for doing something to protect yourself.I had a feeling my ex was cheating on me so I went in his phone.hr tried to turn it around on me and it didn't work! don't let her walk all over you hun.at 16,your young and you have plenty of time to meet girls!
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