Hello Eclipsex

What you describe does sound like a mild depression. We all go through periods of depression in our lives. There are many reasons why one may become depressed, and all of them are perfectly normal life experiences.

It's great that you're open to receiving feedback from people. This is a big step towards finding any sort of solution, and making real changes.


Btw, if you ask 10 people about what you should do, you will get 10 different answers. Some will say take meds, some will say go skydiving. Ultimately it's up to you to decide what is best for you. From my experience, I would recommend to try to find a natural solution before using drugs to mess with your brain chemistry.


What is it that bothers you the most in your life?

Well, I've been this way for 2 or 3 years now. As for what is really bothering me, I'm not quite sure. I look at life and I figure your born and you die, and that everything in between is just a distraction from that cold fact. Education, government, careers, technology, religion, all just distractions from the fact that we aren't a special species, we are just gonna die off and I see no reason to try in life. My high school career at this point is ruined. I have thought about suicide but i have never seriously considered it, ive just been curious as to what it's like once we are past this painful life. I see myself as a lonely and lost individual in a sea of people who are struggling to become successful in this lifetime. I havnt slept in a while and alot of this may not make sense because of that. I'm usually not this low but I was just overcome with an urge to talk to anyone about this. I probably sound completely insane because of this post but I assure you I'm sane. blah...

eklipse

I've just got some weird stuff on my mind...listening to music offers me a little bit of comfort though.

I know how you feel man. I went through something pretty similar when I was in high school.

You mentioned that you don't see any purpose in life. The mere fact that you are asking these questions, and looking for deeper answers says alot about you. Many people are quite sattisfied to live a very superficial life. Once one begins to question the purpose of the seemingly thoughtless loop that many people live out, it is only natural to become a bit concerned about your sanity.

I'm sure you've had moments where you've even wondered whether it was you or everyone who is totally insane. This is a good thing. Without asking such questions in life, you are simply accepting life on everybody else's terms.

It was the truly great souls who questioned reality, and therefore, by asking, eventually found what they were looking for.

The interesting question becomes, ok, well, now what, right?

Does any of this make sense?

Yeah I get what your saying. Its kinda a philosophical thing I guess. I have no idea what Im gonna do at this point. I inevitably can't go much deeper into those thoughts so I assume people are forced to accept this clockwork life. I just don't feel any desire to do anything with my life. My life is meaningless in my opinion, it's like how am I any different from someone else. I've accepted that I'll never amount to anything, nor does it bother me because I, along with everyone else, will just come and go and be history. Yet at the same time, I also know good and well that I could see it differently because I think I'm just depressed but I don't know if I should seek medication or not, I've heard anti-depressants can make it worse.

is there anything at all that you still feel passionate about? If there is, try to spend more time doing it, perhaps taking it to another level.

Perhaps you could try something totally new, just to get a change in the gray everyday life.

and Please try to eat regularly. Low blood sugar might make you more lathergic and feeling lower. (sugar produces a small ammount of some "happy chem" in you brain).

I still have interest in joining the air force but due to my high school grades I dont think I will be able to anymore.

how old are ya?

me? I'm 22, soon 23. why?

Im turning 18 in a couple of months

well i hope youve been felling better

-deleted

well the whole human race isnt pathetitc
stupid and selfish yes
pathetic...not so much

are u still awake? if it helps its almost 4 am here in texas and im mad and sad and ant sleep and my back hurts

-deleted

im awake and a little stupid due to substance abuse, yes

yeah, aolcohol makes me think way too much and then i get depressed more than i normally am...

You say you like music too, thats good....

The bricks of the human though process were built through our ability to cumminicate those kind of visual, artistically notated ideas.

If you have an ear for music thats all you need

All I need anyway...

except money

Perhaps medication is the answer. Or maybe you just need to naturally get out of it. Depression is a serious mental disease and some people cannot get out of it unless they get some help. Whether it be counseling or seeing a psychiatrist and getting on medication, or just trying anything to try and decrease the negative feelings you've been having. Just try and find a way to get out of this.

I THINK I KNOW WHAT YOUR GOING THROUGH I DONT EVEN WANNA LIVE NO MORE IM THIRTEEN AND HAVE NO ONE THAT CARES