I Need Some Input On a Long-distance Relationship...

OK, so, first of all, I just wanna state that I really dont need help in anything, maybe a bit here and there, I know what I wanna and am gonna do, I just want some opinions of what yall think about my situation, especially some girl input... thanks ahead for taking time from your lives to read this... I really appreciate it...

This is a kind of REALLY REALLY long story, so, bear with me... lol

OK, ever since I can remember as back as I was born, there has been this girl in my life (I was born in Guatemala, not the US), a cute little "next door" girl, if I may, that we kind of grew up together as little kids, she was the first girl I ever set my eyes on, had a crush on and everything, even my family, uncles, etc. would tease me about it, but unfortunatly, I had to move to the US with my parents when I turned 6, and I kinda put her in the back of my head from then on, I wasn't still into the whole girl thing, just crushes and stuff... when I was 12, my mom told me we were going back to Guatemala for a month, and I started thinking about her... When I got there, those feelings for her came back, and since I was a lil bit older, we started hanging out, and after 3 weeks of being really close to her, I had the guts to ask her out, and she said yes. My first girlfriend, and I was of course, full of butterflies, but then I had realized, 1,000 miles between us was gonna make our relationship really hard, especially since I was too young to go back by myself to see her, and I didn't have any money to anyways... so I broke it off the next day, telling her how I felt about the situation... it was the hardest thing I had to do before I became a teenager, lol...

So I came back to the US, 2 weeks later, I called her, but then I thought to myself, I couldn't do that, be so far away and miss her, not being able to see her for years (the financial state of my parents made me realize that...), I just couldn't bear that, so I didnt call her at all... a year later, she sends the sweetest letter a girl could ever send me, saying she misses me, and still likes me... Stupid me, I never replied to her, I knew the distance was gonna make the relationship be a hurtful one... so time passed, girlfriends came and left, heartbreaks were felt and forgotten, and I got tired of all the BS girls from the US gave me, I poured out my heart to them, and they just ignored it... well, I turned 18, and I got tired of looking for "a perfect girlfriend", when my mom told me again, we were going to Guatemala for the 2nd time, I started thinking of her, dont get me wrong, I always thought of her as I passed my teenagehood, but since i was finally gonna see her again, I was excited...

So I got there, (this was in the end of May of this year), and the 2nd day, me and my uncle dropped her off at her job (she's a year older than me, so she already graduated... I still got my senior year to go) it was like love at 3rd sight, if I can say that, lol) the minute I saw her after 5 long years, I knew she was the one I wanted, nobody else, she is everything I could ever want, over here, every girl has 3 or 4 flaws, a slut, a drug addict, lazy, unfaithful, etc, all in combinations, I'm not saying everyone is like that, but so far, that's who I meet, but not her. She's like this perfect chick that I've always wanted, the girl i've been looking for all my teenagehood, only to realize she was right there. She goes to college saturdays and sundays, she works most of her time, she gets home at night, does all her homework, cooks for the family sometimes, goes to sleep, and wakes up to go to work (all of her income goes to her studies), she's still a virgin, knows what she wants to do with her life, has the heart of an angel, maybe is one too... she is just so perfect for me, and once I got there, everything went freaking perfect!

We started talking, getting to know each other again, catching up in our lives, and basically became great friends, I did try to hook up with her the 3rd day I got there, but what so great about it is that she respected herself and told me no, to give it some time, when I knew she wanted to be with me. A week passed by and we started flirting and kissing and all that good stuff, while more and more my heart longed for her. She finally gave me our first kiss, like, ever, and it was what I always imagined our first kiss would be, perfect. Oh, btw, she has a boyfriend... Then she told me, I actually knew, but I acted surprised. It took her a while, but then she did tell me (it was brought up when she was asking me if I had anyone). I told her to leave him for me, that I make her happy, that I am so in love with her that I would give anything to have her, that I would work my ass off to visit her every 5 months (round-trip tickets cost from 500 to 1 grand, depending on the season) even if it was for a weekend just to be with her... I told her that when she finishes her studies, she could marry me and come live with me in the US, and she kind of liked the idea, but told me it was too soon and she was too young to make that kind of decision. She told me she needed some time to think about being with me, so I gave her till the rest of my vacation there.

For the rest of the week (I stayed in Guatemala for 2 weeks), we just basically spent most of our time together, we went to a party which we spent the whole night together, dancing... I tried to help her with her homework (which I couldn't, it was college algebra and stuff, lol) and the last time I saw her was the day I left, I dropped her off her job, but I went to the park with her before that, we talked about plans for the future, and I told her I was gonna give her more time on the break-up-with-b/f thing to be with me, because she was stressed out cuz she had end of semester exams, and I didnt wanna stress her out more... We shared the most perfect kiss any girl has ever given me, I told her I loved her, and she said it back too... the last words I ever told her face-to-face was "see you in 5 months, babe"...

I came back a month ago, I started writing her to her e-mail box, I wrote her a letter, and I called her a few time, and everything started going good, she replied my messages, we talked for quite a while, when I started missing her. I cried myself to sleep at nights, I felt the knot in my throat everytime I thought about us being together, and I told her how I felt. When I finally told her I wanted an answer, she told me no. She said she only liked me as a friend, nothing else, that she only did what she did when I was over there is because she was confused, and now she knew... I felt crushed, I still am, it was just SO unexpected, just when everything you ever wanted was going perfect, only to realize it was a bomb waiting to explode.

I wanted to forget her, wipe her from my life, but I knew that would be stupid, she didn't deserve that, and if I ever wanted her to be mine, I had to prevent from making the mistake I made 5 years ago... EVERYONE told me to accept that answer, be her friend, be there for her, because, and I quote my mom, "love grows from friendship". Parents, friends, her brother, even with one of my ex's, told me to be the guy she can always count on, and always remind her how i feel about her, because I can't give up on the first no... If I was the guy she would fall for, I had to be the perfect guy for her, cuz if she felt something for me once, she can always feel it again... And then I started to think, what if its a test? I mean, when I was with her, when I held her and kissed her and everything, she FELT and TREASURED the moment, she would close her eyes and told me how happy she was, how she would never forget me, no matter what happens, and I always had a special place in her heart, when we slowed danced, it was just me and her, NOBODY was around... So if she felt that, how can it be possible to only like me as a friend and be confused when it happened? Besides, 1,000 miles away is a really big gap between us, so that may be another excuse to her decision.

So i made up my mind: I'll make her fall in love with me.

The next day after she told me the "truth", I told her it was OK, I understood, that our friendship wouldn't be affected. So for the next 2 weeks (leading to today), I send her e-mails to her job, I send her love songs, and I call her everyday to her job (I didnt like to do that, but she told me one day to "call her, now!", for no apperant reason)... and now she loves it when I call her... I send her txt messages, I tell her how much I love her, and that even though my love for her was unrequited, it was ok cuz i dont need her to love me for me to love her, and she loves it... She tells me that as soon I get new pictures of me and stuff, she wants them, and she'll send me some too at my request...

I'm saving up money to buy her an ipod for christmas that says "I love you" in the back, with my name under it, because she loved my ipod, and I'm also making plans to got back to guatemala for her birthday in feb. (I spent the money I had to go back in October), and try to spend most of her birthday with her, which I know she would love it... I'm still trying to figure out what to get her for V-day, if yall can help me out with that I would so love you, wich I already do if you went thru all the trouble to read this...

In 2 months I've turned into one of, if not, the most, important guy in her life, I talk to her everyday, I write to her whenever I can, and we're basically back in cloud 9, and she doesnt even do that with her b/f, which she only talks to and sees every 2 or 3 weeks, the least... So basically, those are my plans, let the years pass, and if its ment to be, it will happen, that is if it hasn't already started happening (and if she's testing me, grrr... lol, but I would love if that were the truth)... I really see her as the girl I could one day spend the rest of my life with...

THANKS FOR READING THIS! I would really appreciate some feedback and input and tips and stuff like that, if its not too much to ask, and thanks for atleast reading the novel I just wrote... lol