girls are cruel and theres no way around that
not all girls but some of them

she sounds confused to me
when girls get confused we tend to shy away but at the same time we want to be near that person.

but its not good shes leading you on kindof
im very sorry
if you need anything let me know
im suzy by the way

hi suzy, thanks for responding. i think what im going to do is move on, if i get a call from her again im just going to ask if shes interested in move then friends and if i don't get a definitive answer then i know.

she seems confused to me though like you said. i just dont see how something like this could be that hard to grasp, i like you, you like me, thats all you need. but i guess im wrong

some people just dont know what they want ya know? it makes me sad to se epeople in positions like this because one person is led on and hurt while another person keeps confusing them

ya i haven't talk to her in almost 4 days now. its weird i talked to her for at least 2 hours a day for so long now i just don't.. its odd. i really wish i new what she was thinking.

i suppose the hardest part now is finding someone else.. im not very good at that

Hi:

It's been a few days since last you posted and I wondered how you were doing.

Three weeks is nothing in the grand scheme of things--it was like an electrical storm but those things pass, too. I know what it feels like to meet someone and get swept away. Unfortunately one has to touch ground sometime. Sometimes the fall is light as a feather. In your case, it was a bad thump.

You don't say how old you are. Not that it matters--15 or 50 a bad thump is a bad thump. It's even worse when one tends to get attached quickly. Why is that do you suppose? Does it bother you to be alone? Don't confuse the words "alone" and "lonely". One can be in a crowd and be lonely, one can be alone and be very happy.

You asked about how to find someone else. This is where age helps. If you're in school (secondary school or university) there are always groups or organizations you can check out. You'll make new friends, both male and female. The basis to any relationship is friendship and if you don't have the latter you can't have the former.

Take it slow and easy. You've learned one of your first life's lesson: don't jump in too quickly or you may drown. Things happen when least you expect them. That's what's happened to me. I've been married for 11 years and, although I knew him sort of because he was a friend of a friend of mine, we really didn't go out for at least two years. He got his nerve up to ask me out expecting I would say no. I fixed him and said Yes. It kind of went from there. We took five years before we were married (I was 38 when I married for the first time).

I hope you're feeling a little better. Now's the time to call in favors from your friends--spend time with them even if you don't feel like it. It may lift your burden for awhile.

Good luck.

ya its been a long time since we talked, she messages me from time to time on the computer we talk for a few hours and then i don't hear from her for a week or so, its confusing, i don't let it bother me anymore. ive moved on.

but ya friends helped a lot, for a week and a half i was out with them everyday from 4 when i get out of work until 11 or 12 at night.

P.S im 17 years old

This song, written and performe by Janis Ian, came out when I was, not surprisingly, seventeen. It's written from a wonan's point of view but is just as apropos for guys:


I learned the truth at seventeen
That love was meant for beauty queens
and high school girls with clear skinned smiles
who married young and then retired
The valentines I never knew
The Friday night charades of youth
were spent on one more beautiful
At seventeen I learned the truth


And those of us with ravaged faces
lacking in the social graces
desperately remained at home
inventing lovers on the phone
who called to say – come dance with me
and murmured vague obscenities
It isn't all it seems at seventeen


A brown eyed girl in hand me downs
whose name I never could pronounce
said – Pity please the ones who serve
They only get what they deserve
The rich relationed hometown queen
marries into what she needs
with a guarantee of company
and haven for the elderly


Remember those who win the game
lose the love they sought to gain
in debentures of quality and dubious integrity
Their small-town eyes will gape at you
in dull surprise when payment due
exceeds accounts received at seventeen


To those of us who knew the pain
of valentines that never came
and those whose names were never called
when choosing sides for basketball
It was long ago and far away
The world was younger than today
when dreams were all they gave for free
to ugly duckling girls like me


We all play the game, and when we dare
we cheat ourselves at solitaire
Inventing lovers on the phone
Repenting other lives unknown
that call and say – Come dance with me
and murmur vague obscenities
at ugly girls like me, at seventeen

I truly believed these lyrics and figured that I had peaked (such as it was) and was sliding down the razor blade of life. Then I heard an interview with Janis Ian on the radio and she reminded the listeners that ugly ducklings become beautiful swans.

You can decide whether or not you want to hear from her. You can call the tune. If hearing from her upsets you right now you could just let her know that you'll keep in touh with her and do so only when you feel like it. It's not "gamesmanship", it's healing. You'll get over her in time and really move on. Keep up the friendships you have--if you have true friends they'll stand by you.

Take care.