I have a lot of mental issues. I think the affects are so strong, that I might possibly have multiple personalities. I do not know the specific symptoms, but I atleast have an idea. Dont you normally have more than 2 personalities? Well this is why I think I have multiple personalities...

I have always seen myself as two people. My many behaviors seem to happen one after another, and become related and consistant. I was always a shy person as a kid. I always had panic attacks, and they were so badly that it affected my school attendance all my life up through high school. I was always like this. Very shy, very unsure of myself and my decisions. I was afriad to try new things, and I felt unsafe if I were to streer away from my routine. It was so bad, that if my classes had changed their order, I would alreadly consider myself lost. Any change in my classes, I would panic and I would literally get lost in the school.

Thats how I always was, and I always will be to some degree. Now let me introduce you to my other half...

Around the time I quit school, I began to feel this urge to become in charge and be powerfull. This wasnt like me, because I was always a follower. It was easy, and worry free and I always knew what to expect as a follower. Something else I picked up was anger and violence. I was never a violent or angry kid. I was always loving, and I accepted and enjoyed almost anyones compnay if they werent terribly mean to me. Its just the oppostive when I am in rebellion mode. I dont trust, or treat anyone with any type of kindness. Not even my own mother. I seriously cannot help it, and she finally realizes that I dont mean to attack her personally. It just comes out that way.

Just recently, within the past few years I noticed something even more bizare. My 2nd type of behavior has become more intense, and so has my 1st childhood behaviors. The weird part is that they seem to clash. Sometimes I feel that I am not in control of who I want to be. At times I plan on being calm and peacefull, and I suddenly burst out in the opposite behavior. There are also times, when Im angry and about to stand up to someone like I have very frequently in my life, but at the last sec or even half way through I cower, or I give in to my child like state and work things out more reasonably and peacefull.

I have been treated years ago for basic depression. I have been tried on medications, to keep me calm in school. Nothing seemed to work. I was only looked at by a family doctor. In my opinion, family doctors cant get inside your head, and really let you know what the problem is, let alone try to treat your problems with pills.

Im wondering if anyone knows any details about some of the mental disorders, or if you recognize any particular behaviors that I have. I tried to research different mental conditions, but they all sound very similar. What do you think is wrong with me? Does this sound like anything obvious, or basic?