im 20 (almost 21) years old. i used to be a very fun kid and had lots of friends and girls were so easy for it was pitifull. i had a lot of fun and i was loose and i lived in realm of freedom. i used to be happy.
for a long time now ive been very depressed (truth is i was always depressed but now its not there for attention...) and ive had a lot less succes with girls (actually i havent had full inter-course with someone in nearly two years this august, but who's counting...). i mean i had been with girls to a certein level, but the moment it starts getting in a certein direction, i mess up and it all ends really weird. im even lonlier now since recently i had an incident with the person im or were inlove with, who was my very close friend, and now i feel empty becuse we dont talk and i hate her for various things now. i have friends and when im happy im surrounded with people, i shine like a star. only that an ocasion like that is very rare, and most of the time im just a person who's there, very non-socializing, or, i talk and socialize, but i dont like 85% of the people im talking to, becuse they are very super-ficial.
what the hell is wrong with me? im feeling like there is a disease of fear and self loathing that disperssed all over my body, neutralizing my nerves and emotional sytems to the point of numbness.
please help and tell me what you think of me, i'd really apreciate it