I respect my parents "despite" the fact that they spanked me. I never thought less of them or hated them for doing it. I never thought they were weak or mean or anything like that. In fact, spanking made me respect them as authority figures.

I think kids do need to be a little bit fearful of their parents. I loved them to death and ran to them whenever I was scared or had a boo boo or a bad dream... But I also knew not to disobey. I knew why I shouldn't disobey: doing bad things had consequences like a broken lamp, or I could fall and get hurt, or get run over and die. if I did something bad like that, I deserved punishment. If it's a severe no-no, then spanking is in order. I was only ever spanked twice.

Spanking was not done to "solve" anything. It was punishment, plain and simple. It was not meant to cause permanent damage to me and it never did. My bottom stung for a few minutes and that was that. I am not psychologically scarred. I am not violent. Spanking as a punishment and actual "hitting" were two very different things, and actual hitting was extremely against the rules. I have difficulty hitting people to this day because it was ingrained into my head to never hit. In my brain, spanking does not equal hitting.

Maybe you would spank your child out of frustration or a lack of control, but my parents certainly didn't. Perhaps spanking is a form of punishment that only some parents are capable of using properly.

Spanking is not physical abuse. I never once bruised from it and I never had a long-term mark from it. I was never afraid to sit down because my bottom was in severe pain. Never. My parents spanked me, they didn't hurt me. There's a difference.

My parents gave me so much praise I was nearly spoiled on it. Every drawing I made was up on the refrigerator; my mom still has a bunch of them. I was a smart child; and they praised me constantly for my displays of knowledge. They gave me books to read, they read to me, they bought me things to draw with and they encouraged all of my talents with praise, adoration, and love. They took me to museums and parks and aquariums... I cant think of more loving, praise-giving parents. Like I said, I was spanked twice at the most my entire childhood, and both of those times I was under 5 years old.

My parents spanked me when I ignored the rules and consequences that I had already been informed of. I don't remember why I got spanked either time, but I do know from their parenting style that I had been informed of why I should not do the bad activity, why it was bad, what would happen if I did it (such as getting run over), and the punishment if I did do it. I didn't do these bad things obliviously. I can understand spanking being bad if a parent spanks a child that unknowingly did something wrong, or did something wrong without being told the consequences.

I was, as I said, taught that hitting was very very wrong. Spanking and hitting are two different things. When you hit someone, you intend harm, and that's it. When a good parent spanks, he is not intending to cause the child harm. I guess it's something that not every person can comprehend. I was spanked when I refused to learn. When I purpously did something against the rules that I knew was very, very bad. What, should we not jail killers now? Jail is punishment. So is spanking. It's very efficient punishment that gets through to the child. You should not have to spank often if you are a good parent. If you're spanking a lot, then you're doing something wrong. Either you're spanking for trivial things (which is wrong), or your child has a behavioral problem that needs to be dealt with professionally.

I'm sorry, but if I, a child, have been informed of something I shouldn't do, and I have been told why not to do it, and why it's bad, and what will happen if I do it, then I am the problem. It was my choice to disobey. It's not the truck's fault that I ran out into traffic. You can't blame the swimming pool because I chose to run alongside it and slipped and fell in it.

I was taught to behave. That doesn't mean I was always an angel however. I still did stupid stuff I shouldn't have done, even though I knew it was bad and I knew why it was bad.

I wasn't "scared" to do the bad activity while my parents were around because I knew I'd get spanked. I was scared to do the activity because of the other consequences. Like, I don't know... dying. Falling off a building. Getting kidnapped. Being poisoned to death. Drowning... there are a lot more reasons to be scared to do something than having my dad smack my butt.

I never repeated the activities I got spanked for. Ever. I think one of them was for biting. I never bit anyone ever again (except my lover, but that doesn't count obviously lol).

If you have an older child who is disobeying severely enough that you would spank a younger child for it, then the older child has some deeper issue that needs professional help.

I disagree with spanking as well. I simply cannot justify striking a powerless individual. I don't believe in making my child fear me. I don't believe in teaching my children by using physical force.

Some say it is the only thing that ever works, but if you have to spank your child for the same thing more than once, then obviously it isn't working. I truly feel that some parents simply want their child to shut up and stop annoying them and hitting them is an easy fix, but what they don't understand is that it is often a temporary fix. I don't really understand how parents can have to resort to spanking every time. I guess because I don't feel it is that difficult to outwit a child.

Like I said, I never did again the things I got spanked for. If you have to do it multiple times for the same thing then yes, the parent is doing something wrong.

As I've been trying to say again and again, spanking is an absolute last resort. It should not be done often. It doesn't work if you do it all the time. Hitting a child makes them cry, it doesn't stop it.

After my dad spanked me (the one time I remember), always with pants on and only open hand, he turned me around and asked if I knew and understood why I'd been spanked. I did of course. I'd done the bad thing on purpose. He asked me if I was ever going to do it again and I said no. Then he hugged me and said he didn't want to do that again to me, so I should behave because doing bad things makes mommy and daddy very scared and upset.

Right, but you were only spanked twice, meaning that the things you did must have been bad enough to upset your parents. And generally, if a child just knows how upset or disappointed their parent really is, they are more likely to not do that sort of thing again. Not saying that the spanking had nothing to do with it, however. But your parents obviously used spanking in a much different way than most parents do.

Apparently! I guess they did it... the right way?

Basically.

Reasons Not To Spank

Plain Talk About Spanking
http://nospank.net/pt2009.htm

The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
http://www.nospank.net/sexdngrs.htm

Child buttock-beating for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit.

Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing, and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit.

I think the reason why television shows like Supernanny and Dr. Phil are so popular is because that is precisely what many (not all) people are trying to do .

i as physically and mentally abused by my dad. the first and last time i hit my son when he was 5. he kept writing on the wall with crayons. i made him wash it off, i told him it was wrong. he kept doing it. i beat him and my heart dropped in my feet, and i had panic attacks. so he's 13 years old and he doesnt remember me ever hitting him. people call me crazy and quote the bible to me. but i couldnt bring myself to do it. i take his t.v time, outside time, video game time away. i m not against it, but it's not for me.