My Boyfriend is Bipolar ! Posted: 07-05-07 02:48am
Hi ^_^ Well im not really sure how to
start but by sayin thanks for readin this
and id appreciate any help and advice
people can give me. I have been datin my
boyfriend for about 9 1/2 months now,
great guy and i love him to death.
Obviously he is bipolar. It seems to be
pretty well under control. But my problem
is i dont really know how to cope with it.
For 19 years of his life, he has lived in
routine and never really had a girlfriend.
So now i come into the picture and screw
up most of his routines. His mother pretty
much rules over his life, tells him when
he has to go to bed, when he can and cant
see me and his friends. And well i know
its not his fault, but i find this so
frustrating. He also has endless doctor
visits and well on our 5 month, his mom
told him he couldnt see me so he went
outside and punched the hell out of a
shed. Dad had to take him to the hospital.
This kind of scares me. A few weeks ago he
has been playin a video game and i guess
one of the characters had said "I want to
live forever" and i had been in the
kitchen making some dinner and he came in
and wrapped his arms around me and started
crying. I wasnt really sure what to do so
i just held him and let him cry. Then
asked him what was making him so upset and
he told me he was scared to die.
Understandable, but he was so depressed
and i just had no clue what to do. So i
just held him, told him that i was here
for him and that i loved him. Is that what
im suppose to do? Is there any tricks with
that? There are times he becomes really
hyper and uncontrollable. I dont know what
to do then either. Also, sometime he says
he will call me and never does. I dont
know if that has anything to do with the
bipolar or not. We havn't ever had a fight
but i have talked to him about how upset i
get when he doesnt call and such. But it
keeps happening. I worry that im not able
to help him and that i just create more
stress for him. The last thing i want to
do is make problems for him. He also
recently told me he gets really depressed
after we have sex. I really have no idea
what to do about that either. He says he
doesnt know why he getss depressed but he
does. Well thanks for listening to me rant
and if you can understand my jumbled
thoughts and questions and can give me any
feedback id really appricicate it, im at a
loss. Thanks again!
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mrsbuzski
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Jun 2007 Posts: 103 Location: U.S.A. -- Illinois
Huh?... Posted: 07-05-07 03:19am
It sounds like you love the dude or why
else would you put up with the bull?
Huh?
So, tell him that. That you love him;
though, "thick or thin".
Honesty is a good thing too and a
relationship will thrive and build on it.
Many blessings!
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j_j89
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Jul 2007 Posts: 19
Posted: 07-14-07 14:08pm
Its so wonderful that you are trying to
make things work. I tried, but I am just
not strong enough to handle to emotional
pain that comes with dealing with these
types of things. Continue to love him and
let him know you are there, It helps so
much. As a male, Its quite hard for me to
understand why he would be depressed after
sex, but maybe its due to something in his
head. Just be sure he goes to treatment,
he has to. If he does not then a situation
may form that might be hard for both of
you to deal with. GO TO A PROFESSIONAL. It
will help so much. Above all else, make
sure you never lose yourself, what you
love, and your identity. Always care for
yourself! Good luck.
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mrsbuzski
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Jun 2007 Posts: 103 Location: U.S.A. -- Illinois
Issues Posted: 07-14-07 18:22pm
It sounds like the Mom of your boyfriend
needs to loosin her hold on her son. He
may be having a hard time dealing with the
fact that he could love you and his mom
equally! Anger issues stem from lack of
good, honest communication. If he was a
virgin before you came into the picture
than his emotions may be taking hold of
him too. Sometimes people don't know how
to constructively release their negative
energy and they do it by "pounding" on
something. I don't know.....just
bouncing some ideas around? Many
blessings to you both!
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little_lele89
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Jul 2007 Posts: 56 Location: Aussie
Posted: 07-15-07 05:36am
i was diagnosed with bipolar 6 months ago
and have been with my boyfriend for a year
and a half.
it defently has a big effect on the
relationship, i there have been time i
feel like the worst person in the world
for the situation hes in, and so grateful
to have him/ communitcation is the best
thing. and just having him there for
support it what has held me together.
i wish i could change it but i cant, it a
part of me.
and to everyone with a partener or friend
with bipolar. im 10000% sure he or she is
so grateful for your support. cause really
thats what gets them through the day.
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storiesmom
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Aug 2007 Posts: 1 Location: ga
Posted: 08-20-07 13:06pm
hello my husband is bipolar. it has been
very hard to justify his inexplicable
behavior.he was always angry after sex,
then i got pregnant and he would never
have sex with me again and will not
discuss the matter. there is really no way
to make sense of any of this. either learn
how to live with it or don't. the sad
thing is that this can make you crazy
trying to figure out why they do the
things they do and there is no answer.
storiesmom
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Maelonna
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Aug 2007 Posts: 1 Location: Fontana, CA
Posted: 08-22-07 12:04pm
I've been dating my boyfriend with
bi-polar for about a year and a half now,
in fact, we just recently got engaged
He does take medication and we're doing
great. "Episodes" are pretty far apart
and every time it sparks up he usually
ends up apologizing within a couple of
hours. After he comes out of it, we
discuss what happened and the events that
possibly triggered it.
The best sentence that helps me the most
in hard times is: Date the person, not the
disease.
It's difficult sometimes, but to me it's
worth it to be with him because I've never
met anyone that is as great a match as we
are. Had that not been the case I
probably would not stuck around.
My thoughts? You have to decide within
yourself if you love this person enough to
cope with the hardships of bi-polar
disease as well as all the usual
relationship issues that occur.
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BoneyardDiva
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Sep 2007 Posts: 72 Location: Nunya, USA
Re: My Boyfriend Is Bipolar ! Posted: 09-26-07 20:17pm
Celticsurprise
wrote:
A few weeks ago he had been
playin a video game and i guess one of the
characters had said "I want to live
forever" and i had been in the kitchen
making some dinner and he came in and
wrapped his arms around me and started
crying. I wasnt really sure what to do so
i just held him and let him cry. Then
asked him what was making him so upset and
he told me he was scared to
die.
.
Oh boy can I relate to this. My husband
will be triggered by random things like
this & will get very emotional. Forget
watching sad movies, he loses it. The best
thing you can do is to just be there for
him & listen when he wants to talk. I
generally try to avoid going to see sad
movies (which I hate anyway) & take
him to comedies or action movies. Some
things you can control, other things, you
have to just take as they come. If you
love this guy, it will be easier for you.
Hang in there!
