Possible Depersonalization / derealization ? Posted: 07-04-07 14:20pm
Hello all,
I've seeing many Dr.s over the last 3
weeks and no one seems to be able to
conclusivley decided what exactly I'm
going through. Perhaps, someone here can
give some helpful words.
Here's the backstory.
About 3 weeks ago, during a routine day
at work, with nothing out of the ordinary,
I experience an "episode" where I was
suddenly overcome with fear, panic, and
feeling as if I was passing out or dying.
I did not black out, however my heart
began to race, I felt fevered, my hands
trembled like I have never seen in my
life, I was sweating, and I was unable to
stand. After a few minutes, these initial
symptoms began to subside...however, I
felt completely dissoriented and
disconnected from what was going on around
me. I began to cry because the feeling
was so dissorienting and unfamiliar that I
was completely panicked. I can only
equate the feeling afterward to when
smoking marijuana but without any sort of
euphoria. Just very fuzzy/dreamy. I just
remember I kept saying "Something is not
right with me. Something is not right"
I left work only to return the next day
fearing that the same thing was about to
happen. I left work to see a Dr. She
assessed that it was most likely a panic
attack. She prescribed me Xanax and Blood
Pressure Medicine being that my BP was
veryyy elevated. Then she took an EKG of
my heart just to make sure, of I don't
know what.
SOOO...the EKG came back irregular....so
she referred me to a cardiologist.
During the course of the next week or two
I continued to feel like I was
consistently walking or floating around in
a dream state and felt very disconnected
from myself. Very surreal.
Also, a couple of days I suffered from
pretty severe depression which eventually
went away.
Soooo...I saw the cardiologist...he took
another EKG of my heart, an ultrasound of
my heart, and a 24 hour urine collection.
All of which came back perfect. He
concluded that the irregular EKG must have
been because the nurse incorrectly
administered the test. I also returned to
the first Dr. who took bloodwork to rule
out hypoglycemia or a thyroid disorder.
Which came back perfect.
Then I explained to her how I was still
"trapped in this state" and began to
experience wierd head pressure near the
front of my head which made my eyes sore.
I also began to notice that the way I
perceived light and dark and indoors and
outdoors was some how different, things
were altogther just kinda foggy and it was
hard to visually focus on things. SOOOO
she sent me to a nuerologist. Who
administered some sort of wierd
sobriety-like test where I had to follow
her finger and walk in a straight line and
stuff. After an interview and revealing
to her that I had a history with drug
experimentation (which I will get into)
that I should go in for an MRI. She also
did some sort of test on my head where I
had to wear this wierd sorta hairnet thing
with electrodes and she flashed lights in
my eyes. In the end both the MRI and
other test came back normal.
NOW here is where I'm worried. She now
wants to rule out a condition she called
"Partial Temporal Complex Epilepsy". She
wants me to go in for an MRA and stay in
patient for 2 days to monitor my brain.
Now the experience I've had with this
particular specialist has been AWFUL!.
She is consistently late for appointments
and sometimes misses them all togther,
often leaves the room to attend to the
mailman, whatever...its pretty ridiculous.
I'm actually considering getting a second
opinion. The week before she suggested
these things I was feeling MUCH better.
No head pressure, the fogginess was much
better, and I just felt more "in tune"
with myself. I was only taking the Xanax
maybe once a week when I felt like I may
have another panic attack. So that is why
I'm really questioning her diagnosis,
which the next day I feel like I'm right
back in that wierd dream state. After
doing some research online I'm not totally
convinced. And came across a condition
called Depersonalization or
Derealization, and am pretty suprised she
didn't bring this up as a possiblilty,
considering I feel it described my syptoms
to a "t". Noww.....I in college
exprimented with a few drugs (Marijuana,
Cocaine, Ketamine, Exstacy,
Shrooms)...however it was never habitual
use, maybe once or twice, and was about
5-6 years ago. However, I was a habitual
pot smoker for probably the last two years
(I would smoke later in the evening to
help relax me and to fall asleep). Since,
the first episode I have quite smoking.
Soooooo....what does everyone think? I
felt pretty relieved before meeting the
Nuero for my MRI results as I was pretty
much writing it all off as stress and
anxiety, and then as soon as I left it was
like it started all over again. If anyone
has some words of advice or expertise
please pass it on. This is beginning to
get very tiring.
|
Luisito
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Jun 2007 Posts: 23 Location: Central America
Posted: 07-04-07 15:20pm
Hi There:
I have suffered many episodes like yours.
My eyes don't focus on things, I feel a
heavy pressure on them and I am not able
to think clear.
My problem began about 3 and a half year
ago, when I was on my brother's wedding
party. Suddenly I started to feel like if
I was "outside" my own body. My eyes
started to feel abnormal, that made me
feel very anxious. This made me go to
several Drs. I had all kind of medical
tests (Tomography, ENT exams, blood tests,
opthtalmologists, you name it)
I also was checked for epilepsy, all tests
came with normal results.
I went to a Psychiatrist that puts me on
Clonazepam and Cymbalta. None of this meds
helped me to reduce the eye symptoms.
Clonazepam helped me a little to minimize
anxiety, but then , I was trapped into
Withdrawal from Cymbalta.
At this moment i live with this symptom. I
am not searching anymore an answer to
this.
My anxiety hits me sometimes, and I am
sometimes depressed, because of my
symptoms.
This is so weird, that sometimes I think
my life is a nightmare and I want to wake
up. I have been fighting against this and
sometimes I want to give up. '
Well, This is my story. I don't have
answers for you, but I think medical
science hasn't all the answers to so many
conditions on human body.
Some Drs have told me that maybe is a
nutritional deficiency, or a viral
infection consequence, who knows.??
Hope the best for you