Troubled and Abusive Relationships Forum

last nite things went crazy.

all nite I was planning a romantic surprise for him and he knew it. he was supposed to come over after work. when I called him to see where he was at, he said he was at his friends house. and he yelled at me over the phone so I just said I'll see you when you get here.

my mood was ruined of course. so he got here and I was a little mad. not too angry. in all honesty I cant remember what started the bickering, but I can say that it was nothing that deserved what happened next.

we were bickering and he goes I should just go home in an angry voice. I asked him to please calm down and just stay here, I was sorry for being angry.

then he went crazy... calling me a crazy b****, a dirty c**t, and screaming at me, I'm sure my neighbors heard.

I tried calming him down, and he said THIS IS WHY GUYS HIT CRAZY B****es like you. and then he stormed out of my apartment, and went home.

this morning I went to his house to try talkin to him, and when he saw me he jetted off in his car. but I asked him why he was mad, and he said cuz I am a psycho.

this is a normal occurance about every other month or so. when we start fighting, he always mocks me in this high pitched ugly voice. he makes fun of me in front of his friends. when he gets mad at me, he'll go days before he even decides he wants to talk to me.

he planned a trip to vegas for his 21st this month, and I am not allowed to go because I would ruin the trip. but his fam and friends are all going.

lastly, when we have sex. he always pushes me to do things I dont want to do. and when I dont do it he gets furious and then he stops what we're doing and rolls over ignorning me.

I know I'm not perfect, and I make mistakes. I know I Can be a brat, but I dont demand much from him except to want to spend some time with me, and just be reliable, and respectful of me.

is there hope for him to change? its going to be two years. in all honesty I cant even deal with another day of this. my mom is on her way to pick me up now because I dont want to be in the same town anymore.

I'm so beat down from this... any advice would help. thank you.

Replies(9)

young Girl

replied on July 4th, 2007

Especially eHealthy

im going to PM you ok?

btles92

replied on July 4th, 2007

New User

sounds good.

Magical Logic

replied on July 4th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

leave this guy. he needs help that you cant give him.

Makoto

replied on July 4th, 2007

Experienced User

I am not sure if you are being to pushy when you guys argue. Maybe instead of trying to calm him down, just let him leave or get out of the situation. Even if he goes away mad, let him go. And do not try to confront him later. Give him time.

Yet, what you describe in the last part of your post is terrible as well. I think this man, no matter who is wrong does not love you or respect you.

I think the best thing for you two to do is break up and try to find another who you can get along with better. Be strong and then later you can be happier.

womaninpain

replied on July 10th, 2007

Experienced User

Some of what you are saying sounds like some of what I go through. I don't really have much room to talk because my situation it terrible and I can't even help myself but sometimes it's different from the outside looking in....

Here are my thoughts...he is immature and wants to do his own thing on his terms, to me it sounds like he is either not ready for a real relationship or commitment or he is not being faithful...my only reason for saying he may not be faithful is because I used to go what you are going through...I would call and he would get frustrated with me for absolutely no reason...he was out and I was waiting for him...come to find out, he didn't want to be bothered while he was with another girl, he went on vacation actually to Vegas with friends...I was not invited...turned out it was not just with friends but it was with another girl as well and that was why I wasn't invited.

The only thing I can give advice on is your ways of handling the situation when you argue, I have learned that me continuing makes it worse and now I let him talk and walk away and he gets over it for the most part...not that it makes it all better at all but he gets over it and it doesn't get as bad as it could...I hope things work out for you, you are so young and you don't deserve this treatment at all.

delynn

replied on July 14th, 2007

New User

Re: Abusive Boyfriend !!

btles92 wrote:

last nite things went crazy.

all nite I was planning a romantic surprise for him and he knew it. he was supposed to come over after work. when I called him to see where he was at, he said he was at his friends house. and he yelled at me over the phone so I just said I'll see you when you get here.

my mood was ruined of course. so he got here and I was a little mad. not too angry. in all honesty I cant remember what started the bickering, but I can say that it was nothing that deserved what happened next.

we were bickering and he goes I should just go home in an angry voice. I asked him to please calm down and just stay here, I was sorry for being angry.

then he went crazy... calling me a crazy [edit], a dirty [edit], and screaming at me, I'm sure my neighbors heard.

I tried calming him down, and he said THIS IS WHY GUYS HIT CRAZY [edit] like you. and then he stormed out of my apartment, and went home.

this morning I went to his house to try talkin to him, and when he saw me he jetted off in his car. but I asked him why he was mad, and he said cuz I am a psycho.

this is a normal occurance about every other month or so. when we start fighting, he always mocks me in this high pitched ugly voice. he makes fun of me in front of his friends. when he gets mad at me, he'll go days before he even decides he wants to talk to me.

he planned a trip to vegas for his 21st this month, and I am not allowed to go because I would ruin the trip. but his fam and friends are all going.

lastly, when we have sex. he always pushes me to do things I dont want to do. and when I dont do it he gets furious and then he stops what we're doing and rolls over ignorning me.

I know I'm not perfect, and I make mistakes. I know I Can be a brat, but I dont demand much from him except to want to spend some time with me, and just be reliable, and respectful of me.

is there hope for him to change? its going to be two years. in all honesty I cant even deal with another day of this. my mom is on her way to pick me up now because I dont want to be in the same town anymore.

I'm so beat down from this... any advice would help. thank you.

I think hes cheating on you then venting on you because of guilt.Youre too good for him and he knows it.

MrMedic

replied on July 20th, 2007

New User

You really need to be careful. People like him, as I'm sure you've figured out can be very unpredictable, and behave very erratically/dangerously.

I advise you to let him know that its over (by phone or other remote means, for your own safety), that you don't want him coming anywhere near you ever again, and if there is any indication of him coming over, call 911 or your local emergency number, and let the police deal with him.

You're much better off without him, good luck with the future, and let us know what ends up happening.

kiereh

replied on July 28th, 2007

New User

wow...I feel like I am going through something similiar... I dont have any answers for you. Crying or Very sad

males just get so hard-headed when they yell. sigh

MrMedic

replied on July 29th, 2007

New User

kiereh wrote:

wow...I feel like I am going through something similiar... I dont have any answers for you. Crying or Very sad

males just get so hard-headed when they yell. sigh

Its not a matter of us being hard headed. I'll be frank with you, its a matter of us just plain being stupididiots who are undeserving of you or anyone.

I may be a traitor to my gender, but I'm a guy, and I'll still say it: any guy treating his partner (or ANYONE) like that is just a [edit], and not only does he not deserve you, but you don't deserve to stand by and take his crap. No need to say things like "hard-headed", 'cause that doesn't even begin to say the obvious problem.

kiereh:

I am deeply sorry for what you are going through, please get yourself some help ASAP. The best way to do this is through the police.

Take care,

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