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Very Upset About Pregnancy

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Jamms

July 3rd, 2007

I am 26 years old and recently found out that I am 6 weeks pregnant. I am absolutely devasted to put it mildly. I have been feeling extreemly saddened and can't hlp but wish that I never ever got into this situation.

I have a lovely relationship with my bf. We have been together for 6 years. He is somewhat excited about my pregnancy but I am the exact opposite. However I do not feel that we are ready mentally or financially for a baby. I am really upset at myself for this. I can't help but think of how horrible it would b to bring a baby into this worl which I was not able ot care for the way that I wanted. On top of this, I feel extremely guilty for not wanting and loving the little person inside o me the way I should.

I always thought that I would be married first and could prepare for a family addition but things have not worked out that way. For this, I also fel so very ashamed as many people in my community will look down on me. I am terribly frightened of the things people will say and the judgments that will be passed. Some may say just get over it but unfortunately for me that is much easier said than done. I have support from family and friends but I have not found pace within myself and it has been extremely difficult. I spnd the majority of my nights crying and wishing I was not in this situation. I have tried talking to some people about it but it is very difficult.

Can somone please shed some advice or offer some guidence. I am torn between the decisions I need to make at this time.

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Fairy Godmother

replied July 3rd, 2007

Supporter

Hi Sweetie, First and foremost...........you only have one life. And you can not allow yourself to get upset or hurt by what others say or do. This is your life. So it didn't turn out as planned.....you have today and tomorrow. Yesterday is gone. You have the power to control what and how you feel about things people say oo do. Choose to be happy. You are in a great relationship and you are having a baby. So many people out there would be happy to have only one of those two things. But you have been belssed with both. So, you may not can give this baby what you think it deserves.....but as long as you love and care for it and provide what it needs, who could ask for more? The hell with what anyone else thinks....This is your life.........Start thinking positive. Hormones play tricks on us Girlfriend. You are gonna be just fine. There are so many of us out here who will be here for you! Cool

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Jamms

replied July 3rd, 2007

Re: Hi

I understand, you are right, I could be in a far worse situation. I suppose when you have things all nicely planned out (and when you're use to having life go your way) things like this can be shocking. I definitely need to work on staying positive but I just find it so difficult not to let those negative thoughts creep in. By any chance do you have some motivational/positive tips that I coul use?

I know it sounds corney but I realise I'm in a battle with myself and in the end it will make or break me Sad

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Jude-Love

replied July 3rd, 2007

Active User, very eHealthy

I am so sorry you're dealing with this.

You shouldn't worry about what others think of you. Your life isn't their business and you definitely shouldn't feel ashamed because you aren't married. Many children live in loving, two parent homes with no marriage. I understand that it's what you wanted to do first, but it isn't necessarily the end of the world and it doesn't make you less of a person. It certainly won't make you less of a parent.

Have you told your boyfriend how you feel?

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Jamms

replied July 3rd, 2007

Hi Jude,

I have told him how I feel and he can see it as I don't like ot talk about the pregnancy and when we do I just burst into tears. I have tried asking him if perhaps we can com up with a plan, something feasable and logical as to ho we will prepare and care for the little one but he seems perplexed by my questions. I think he feels as though he will "just be bale to" care for a baby but I know there is far more that goes into it than hopes and dreams. neither of us have our own home and that is definitely somethign that we need to work on. So I know you asked a simple question and I went around the bush but yes I have explained how I feel. He sees the positive in the situation regardless, unlike myself.

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Jude-Love

replied July 3rd, 2007

Active User, very eHealthy

Well, I think what you feel is normal, even expected. Congrats, you are one of the few people who really take parenting seriously. Caring for a child isn't supposed to be a bowl of cherries, it's a permanent responsibility. It's normal to feel nervous or inadequate. But people who take it seriously tend to be good, loving parents and they produce polite, happy, outgoing children. Your situation may not be ideal now, but you have nearly a year to plan things.

Do you and your boyfriend live together? If you don't, you might want to think about it (that is, if you were planning on marrying each other anyway). Bring up some issues to him that will make him think about the responsibility more-where the baby will sleep, etc. If he can be concerned with you and be supportive in *that* way (but it is good that he is at least supportive of you otherwise), you might not feel so helpless.

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	Tags: about pregnancy, Pregnancy, first trimester of pregnancy, First Trimester, pregnant, addition, first trimester pregnancy, weeks of pregnancy, pregnancy advice, advice pregnancy

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