hey im 18 years old. had first real sexual
experience about 8 months or so ago. i was
pretty nervous the first time, so i can
understand why i had trouble getting hard
that time. ive had multiple experiences
with a few different girls since then
however, and ive always had a lot of
trouble getting hard. its kinda
embarassing as you may imagine. im not
sure if its just mental or i might have
something wrong physically. im not nervous
at all about having sex anymore though,
and im really attracted to the girls ive
been with. im very comfortable in the
situation. perhaps the only thing thats
always on mind that im nervous about, that
i cant seem to help, is the fear of not
being able to get hard. maybe that is the
only reason for my problem? I dont know
how to stop myself from being nervous
about not getting an erection though.
i dont have any trouble getting a great
erection if im on my own masturbating. one
thing I have noticed however, is that when
i was a little younger and i would become
closer with a girl, whether that be just
holding hands or kissing, i would get
really hard and it wouldnt go away until i
would stop. now, when i start getting
close, i only get hard sometimes, and
usually not as hard as i used to.
this is getting really annoying, because
its kind of a relationship spoiler, and a
fun spoiler. thanks for any help
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clcs
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Jul 2007 Posts: 2
Posted: 07-03-07 20:23pm
anyone?
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Llewellyn
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jan 2007 Posts: 1743 Location: NY
Posted: 07-03-07 21:44pm
If you get erections on your own, then it
sounds like the problem is not physical.
You could always talk to your doctor to
make sure though.
So your problem sounds psychological.
Many men have that problem. It often
starts out when a man is nervous, then
can't get an erection. In time, he might
not be as nervous anymore, so he could get
an erection except for the fact that now
he is worrying about getting one.
Worrying about getting an erection can
make it a lot harder to get one.
So it sounds like you need to completely
relax. You say you're comfortable with
the situation and not nervous, but you
also say you are worried and embarrassed.
If you are really comfortable with your
partner, you should not be worried or
embarrassed. It happens. If your partner
is a decent person, they'll understand and
be willing to help you work through your
fears. It might take a little time and a
patient partner, but it sounds like you're
absolutely capable of getting there
eventually. Take your time, there's no
rush.
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kdesky3
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Jul 2007 Posts: 13
Posted: 07-03-07 22:23pm
Hey dude. I'm 21 and this has happened to
me before too. It happened the first time
I ever had sex with my girlfriend (the
same girl I've been with for 2 years now).
It was definitely super embarassing and I
thought about it constantly for a loooong
time. It's kind of a vicous cycle. It
happens and you constantly think about it
so then it happens even more. The thing
that made it stop was being completely
comfortable around the girl you're with. I
guess after it happened a bunch of times I
subconciously allowed myself to focus on
how hot my girl was when we were about to
have sex rather than focus on not getting
an erection. Unfotunately it seems to me
that the only way to get over this
erection thing is to keep going with it.
Even though it happened, it didn't deter
me from trying to have sex again.
Eventually it just gradually stopped. But
don't worry about it. Tons of people have
this thing happen and I'm sure its pretty
embarassing for everybody. But if you're
with a cool girl who likes you for you,
then it won't matter. It'll stop
eventually.
