Well, if she thinks she's tired now...............wait til she has a baby!

Married 7mons and only 10X.............you know your in trouble when you can count the amount of times...................my question: did you have sex before marriage? was it more frequent?.......

......Personally, I think you've talked and communicated your desires and she's no longer listening.................she now has to hear it from a third party...............like a therapist

Wow,

I am also a newly wed, we have been married 8 months on the 4th of July. I cant count the times we have sex, once every other day!!..sometimes more!! I love my husband, and at 7months from experience your marriage is still new, fresh!!! I would ask her whats going on, is there anythign you can do sexually thats different, maybe try to spice it up!!! We watch love tv together, maybe try that??? talk to her see whats going on?? Good luck!!

You know, some women kinda get depressed right after they are married. Usually it doesn't last very long, but sometimes it can last awhile. Everything is so exciting and busy when you're planning a wedding, but once your big day is over....it's just depressing. I felt that way for a couple of weeks.

Maybe that is it. It seems like she is making herself unavailable to you.

Maybe she has some past abuse that makes sex and intimacy feel "scary" to her. I certainly would not proceed with having a baby until you get your issuees worked out. Think of it as fertilizing the ground for optimal health proior to planting a seed. You guys might think about couples therapy.

You sound like a dream husband....cook, cleans and gives massages....There is no way you should bring a baby into this situation. You first need to work on your own relationship. I have no idea about your wifes way of thinking, but you have only been married a short time. You are both young and should neither one be that tired. Until you are ready for some changes and you do something about it, you are just gonna be in the same boat. Doesn't sound to me as if she would go for therapy if thats what was required, because she would be in denial and be too tired???????????

Do not make anything with this woman. Do not make a baby, love, or time for her.

She does not care for you. I am in a similar situation, different reasons, but similar situation.

Sucks to be you......that is not a wife, that is some one who does not care about you.

Sorry for your troubles.

Well, I think that is a strong assertation to make without knowing more about th situatioini. There could be many resons for this to happen besides "not loving".

You might think it is a strong assertation, but that is the feeling I get from the post. Yes, there could be many reasons, but my thinking is she does not love him. Until he knows for sure, making babies with this woman is not a good idea either way.

There are a lot of reasons for not wanting sex. Makoto is right if you view it as one possibility. Depression could definetly lower ones libido. Is she on any medication? If so, lower sex drive could be a side effect. She may have an undx medical condition. Some women really do have an extremely low libido. If that's the case, counseling may be good to keep your marriage going. You may end up becoming increasingly frustrated if this continues much longer without some kind of intervention. There are just so many possibilities. If she brings up her fatigue again, I would encourage her to go to the doctors. See if she is willing to go.

I agree with working on your relationship first before a baby.

Oh, you do sound like a dream husband. My goodness.

uhh if she doesnt love him then why did she marry him

just cuz your relationship is sucky doesnt mean his is

No, it does not mean anything. I gave my advice or my view of things. That is that. Final. No one can say I am wrong. Instead of crapping on my advice, give some of your own.

I do agree with you in regard to not having children until things are resolved.

I am not trying to be mean or cruel. I am just trying to give advice and help some one out. I think it is great that there are a number of people doing that, even if the advice is different. All of our intent is good. That is the main thing.

No one has to agree with me. Just giving my impression based on my own life experiences. Same as us all.

Agreed. having a baby would probably make it worse. You need to fix the poblems first. A baby will add stress to a relationship. Make sure its strong first.

Many women don't marry for the right reasons. Who knows she was just desperate..And maybe after she has the baby she will dump him. I have seeing it before. I think makoto is right. A good wife will be more considerate. In the very least I would have a discussion with my husband and tell him something you know I think maybe the pill is causing me low libido, I would like to go to doctor to see what's going on..and things like that. I woldn't lie about it, and this one seems like she does otherwise how can you explain back pain but can go to a gym and excersive vigorously? She might just only love the idea of him but not him. And that is scary about wanting the baby. I hope this guy hasn't made a baby with her yet because how it looks she will dump him and he will be stuck with paying child support for a long long time.

caregiver, I have had the same experience as you. I can tell you this with a certainty: it's not going to get better.

I wish someone had told me this. I was married to a woman who immediately shut down on me once we married. She wouldn't touch me, hated to be touched, and mocked me for being interested in sex with her. "Sucks to be you"??? Good grief. This woman has no respect for you to say that.

I can't convey this to you strongly enough: either get used to a loveless sexlife or get rid of her. I made the mistake of hoping she would get over her issues or get beyond her "being tired" and years later nothing has changed. She will not change. Trust me. Think to yourself: can i live the rest of my life this way? Because she's not going to ever come aruodn and suddenly find you sexy and attractive.

someguywhoknows

mull over here caregiver .......bottom line ......how much do you love her? you can go through this just a bit longer your brand new .....which is to say put up with it ......or leave her .......exstreme I know .........what can you live with ?????none of us can live it for you. communication seems one sided and may I suggest you read this one book I came across....while your deciding what you will or won't do about her read this ---THE FIVE LANGUAGES OF LOVE By Gary Chapman .............personally I am in the same boat just engaged and I am coping with it because I see his worth and if a less sex life is what we live than more money to the adult toy store ..........in my case everything else is great is fair is going forward .....our sex will either get better or worse but I decide what I can live with and I love him enough to stick it out for as long as it takes .....unconditional love does not keep score /count .......it sounds like time for tuff love ......if you must sit her down and draw lines give ultimatums but be prepared to end it if she will not come around ....I left my virgo because of his drinking ......three weeks later I got him back a sober man .....some fixes are a risk ....be willing to take them or stay in your rutt about her .....what ever you do ...do it in the language of love not justice she may have no more clue about what is going on as you but if she feels like she can discuss anything with out judgement with you ...she might just sound off and you both get to the heart of the matter ...honesty and trust .....have compassion in this ...but make your own happiness she can not make it for you .....a baby won't fix it .....but a baby might fix her .......if she is determined to have one ?????might as well be yours if you love her that much ...you risk losing her and a child that way ....maybe waiting is the best advice on the baby .....try a pet first ?????ok best wishes safe journey.
wazzywoman/robin

how was your relationship before you got married? I'm sure there's a reason why she's like that, and i'm positive a good counselor would help, but only if she's willing to work on the relationship herself...
what other things does she complain about? obviously not that you don't do anything in the house (wow i wish my husband was that active in the household), but other things... maybe you used to do things that made her happy before you were married and now you're not doing that anymore (which is normal) and she misses that...
you said you know she loves you, so somehow she's showing you that, maybe you should try to show her that you love her in the same way she shows you. everyone has different thing that makes them feel loved, for me it's spending quality time with my husband, but he feels loved when i cook for him and touch him... everyone's different, maybe part of the problem lays there... a great book that discusses that is "the 5 love languages" ...i really hope things will get better!!